Early up at 6.30 I'm headed towards the white tents for the RML commitee. Yeap, I was one of the first few to arrive. Because Tim told me to be there early but ahh no one came early still.
Found Yvette, Sarah's, Huiqi and yaaa the rest haha hanging out along the beach with the horizon with a nice orange glow painted by the sunrise.
Okies, I was quite nervous before the run, I could see many pro runners, and even an athletic squad are geared up to chiong the finishing line.
Ahh ok ok ok, I'll just get to the run. WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO omg omg omg omg I ran 6.4km in 28m48s?? HAHA WAAAA I totally beat me record of 1km faster than normal. omg I just chionged with all the chiongsters My legs burned with every footsteps, telling myself to press on, dun stop, dun slow down. The times I felt like giving up, but just with the aim in mind of the finishing line, I clocked down an impressive speed, quite to my amazement too.and lols at downing more than 10 cups of the eh 7-up revive. Hahaha spammed ttm
me classmates- cos I dun have any pics of me =/
Alrites, Hi!Club's performance then. Haaaaa, was super nervous when we went up but hecks, I think we did a good job =). Had to squeeze into a tiny stage baaaa. And lols, my mom was within the crowd watching xD oh oh and heh, just go up, relax enjoy and have fun, no stress wahahahas. Me first public performance in life ahhh~
DiSheng's falling off the stage already haha
performance
Be a part; Reach a heart
HEY HEY pics from the PCS Symposium are in and woots, all the cool awesome shots taken by Denise =D I'll post the others when more comes. ^^
cooooool right?
~~~~~~
Ok time for some random abstract thoughts. (here's where it gets long) Yup, in analogy, our life's often depicted as a race.
Some finish it quick, some slower, but it's not about how fast one gets there, more so, it's about the process. How would your story be if your life was written for the world to see?
We'll meet all kinds of friends along the way. Acquaintances that appear into your life and quickly disappear off, others whose lives you run into, as well as catching up with the people you've met before in life, and finally, good friends along the way that pace your journey. All in all, the people we meet along the way play a part in our story, or might it seem that you, rather, were part of their story too.
This race has no rules, and its directions are ambiguous. Some run by gut instincts, some simply going with the flow. There are those who are clear of where they're heading, and those who stay put. Some head off in the wrong direction, and stray off the path and we can only pray that these lost souls find their way back. Yet an amazing to note is that we too, often go astray, but yet out there, there are some of those special people, who give part of their life, their run, to come back looking for you. Through no means of communication, they just run and run, hoping to find you, and guide you back. Sweet isn't it?
We fall and bruise ourselves, we get tired. For the fortunate ones, you know you can count on your friends to support you. But what about those alone? Do we sit there, crying and tending to our bruises? But ultimately we all have to pick ourselves up, and say "I will go on no matter what" and we're off once again.
From our falls, we accumulate scars. And scars to me, are things I consider beautiful. Not because they make you look manly or what lols but heh, within each scar, a tale is embedded for life. And when we look at them, think of them as reminders, a reminder of a life event, reminder of learning from your mistakes.
To round it off, I end this with a value of mine, where i believe that nothing in life is wasted. Not a happening in life goes untouched, just as how every second of our life is penned down in our experiences, thoughts, feelings, memories, values, beliefs, so on and so forth. Be it the worse heartbreak or the joyous times together with friends, nothing really goes to waste in God's plan for moulding our lives.
And just as how every little thing that happens to us is significant, every action you take, every move you make goes a long way to creating an impact as well, albeit good or bad. Cos you never know how much a life you'll touch even with just one simple action. Others may not express it, but don't stop believing that your action are worth nothing. Just do it ^^
~~~~~~~
Random Smiles:
While taking pics with my frens after the run, I stood behind them and tiptoed and then... my leg cramped. Haaa if only I could get the picture, because my face was smiling with the "URGH OMG PAIN PAIN NVM JUS TAHAN AND SMILE" face xD
Ok ok, not so funny heh...
Sorry, no spastic looking pics of me this time =P BUUUT... TADAAAA!
My friend says my cheeks look like eggs. Darn it xD
Alrights, today's a saturday and I'm kinda feeling weirdish again. Anyways, here's to the end of IP. Finally we're free from projects but we still have our exaaams =D Friday was lotsa fun with the class and hey I even got my nails painted with some thingy to make it look shiny, and lol at the number of times I whip out me fingers to admire them.
Usher duty for PCS symposium was haaawt. Me, Timothy and Ashleigh stood under the hot sun outside the Convention Center under blazing sun in our blazers (AHAHA) to guide guests into the reserved lots for like an hour plus or something. Whoooo, we were cooking sia xD Omg the relief we felt when we finally stepped back into the cold lovely comfy convention center.
I believe that's Ashleigh's fingerprint...
Nice shot from me phooone =D
Shall skip to class dinner...
TGIF with class ^^
We finally finally finally had another class outing this semester. It be eons since last sem we got out together as a class. I always liked those 3 hours breaks where the class would be out together having fun. Oh and ahaha, we also kinda got our class identity going during the symposium when we were all spamming pics. Ahhh I love T01 =)
Kinda weird why we're all slanted to the right
So we went out to eh some restaurant named TGIF and ahaha, everyone said the same thing when they saw the menu. "I need go draw money" Haha one meal costs me my months of savings but who cares man, the time together with the class was priceless ^^
just look at Tiongkiat's face...
And woots, I downed a freaking big glass of water in almost 10 seconds. baaaa, and then having fun with timothy in binge drinking water ahahaha
paranormal shot for fun - Balu has three hands xD
After dinner, some of them went home, and the rest bought alcohol to drink >=] and lols, my first sip of alcohol (aside from those lousy bacardi breezers) tasted like cough syrup xD and its blue in colour? And heh, we ended up playing games making ourselves feeling most awkward. ha, I wonder why?
Pictured: Cool Blue Cough Syrup
Yeaa, so that's all. And to reward you for your time taken, here's a pic of me acting cute...
Haha cell was super duper great today, God is great and His wonders never cease to amaze me. Through the words spoken, His presence, our experiences, oh how they fall perfectly into place in His plan to help us grow. Amen!
Got to be a blessing to another dear brother, he got into his 13th choice for JAE. Fyi, that means he didnt get into any of his choice and simply got thrown into some random RP course he totally had no belonging in. But through this I kinda was able to relate my experience to him and haaa omg, it was too through his sharing that revealed God used my words to bless him omg omg omg super cool please?
Anyways, have faith Issac, cos no matter where you are placed, I'm sure God will work mighty wonders through your life. Lives will be touched, eyes will be opened and tongues will praise the God you serve because of your faith. Know that God's presence resides with you no matter how far you go in life and I know and believe, that one day you will look back, and thank God from the bottom most of your heart when you see His plans for you. Stay strong, dear brother. ^^
Besides that, I reflected upon how I've became self-centered over the months, how from getting all the attention, all the fame, the recognition, that through the pleasures of this world, that I turned away from my calling, my purpose, and everything I had set out in my life to do. The little achievements has ballooned my ego, and my desire for it, and I continue to strive on to acquire more of it.
And in time, I've lost myself and so many things around me, my friends, my humour, my cheerfulness, my bonds, my relationships, my mind, my security, my love for people, what I truly want, what I was called out for - A light for the lost, a hope for hopeless, and a refuge for the weary. Far from achieving that, yes I know, but through God's grace and guidance, this vision shall come to pass.
And yea, I hope through this I can yet set myself back on to the right track. My sincerest apologies and grateful thanks to my friends out there that held on to me still and not gave up.
A lovely old song which I thought of. Adapted from Psalms 34. and haha, the singer has a cute funny accent xD
~ Random smiles ~
Ok this is epic. Halfway through cell, I got a message from an unknown number and this is how our conversation went:
Unknown number: Lol crowded leh. Can help me on the internet.
Without thinking (more than 5 seconds) I replied: Wrong number =)
Unknown number: You not darren meh?
Me: Ok erm ya I am. Who are you uh? And wat crowded and help wat? ._.
Unknown number: I'm your brother. Help on internet.
Omg epic can? My bro came home and walked to the room, and yea I didnt have my bro's number on me contacts ever since he changed his number, I LOLed (in the middle of cell) when I saw the final reply.
Haha today was quite a fun day, started off with me meeting TK at the gym at 10am only to find that it's closed from 10 -12 this week. Baaa, then we wanted to go to the swimming pool to put our bags and yups, closed too lolol.
Anyways, we decided to run at the tracks then. I made a good attempt at 30.5min for 6km ^^ and then 30 minutes was spent just sitting by the stairs relaxing, enjoying the breeze and peace. =) Good moments.Went to gym again after lunch and took a looong bath. hehe.
Studied for like 30 minutes before meeting Yve-Yizhen gang for dinner at pizza hut and lmao, I down 4 cups of coke and loool I had the runs after that >.< Hi!Club... omg timothy sabo-ed me to do main lead and with all the gestures and drama ohmystinkingpoops, I cant do it, I dont dare. And and, I have to like grab the girl's hand as well as do a short drama of us fighting zomg la. And waaaa, still have to look at her eyes =,= I realized I still fear girls... Or maybe just on the touch part? O.o owells haha, sheesh.
Mood for the day was pretty calm and good-natured. and then with a bit of melancholy .___. and then haha, ended of the day with quite a bit of fun =)
Sometimes, I wish for innocence of heart, just a peaceful serene mind without those distracting thoughts that robs me of the essence of life.Perhaps then, I could look at you, without fear, without malice, and without anything more than just a friend.
Random Smiles
Was taking train with Yizhen some days back and we saw this advert on the train.
It's kinda an irony? People with hearing losses calling? Can they even hear over the phone in the first place?
Just a simple day spent with my cellmates and assimilating them into the older youths. Just kinda sat in all the conversations and kept pretty quiet, observing and listening to everyone chatting. For a moment, I kinda felt like not doing anything, not talk, not think, not even live(not emo) and just let things happen. Weird random feelings
Night was mostly spend immersing myself in nostalgia and worships songs, especially those I grew up with, those which hold fond memories for me. Yet suddenly I just feel everything is so calm, so beautiful, so serene...
Haha, and a random song I thought of when I was a kid. A sweet melody to a lovely song. OHMYSTINKINGPOOPS, THE FLUTE IS DAM BEAUTIFUL. I REALLY OUGHT TO LEARN IT >_<
It only takes a spark to get a fire going, And soon all those around can warm up in its glowing; That's how it is with God's Love, Once you've experienced it, You'll spread the love to everyone You want to pass it on.
What a wondrous time is spring, When all the trees are budding The birds begin to sing, the flowers start their blooming; That's how it is with God's love, Once you've experienced it. You want to sing, it's fresh like spring, You want to pass it on.
I wish for you my friend This happiness that I've found; You can depend on God It matters not where you're bound, I'll shout it from the mountain top I want the world to know The Lord of love has come to me I want to pass it on.
Same song, another vid...
"Let it be done unto me according to Your Word"
Random Smiles:
This is my school folder for this sem where I chuck everything into their respective folders and I always chuckle whenever I see LMS.
its named "LifeManagementSkills" but because the name is too long they cut the behind part and then it becomes: "LifeManagementS kills"
I've come to begin to enjoy train rides to school. The whole boring 40min-1hr trip would be spent in thoughts. Sometimes random, sometimes meaningful, sometimes pure useless daydreaming.
Like once, I kinda thought back one the things i did as a kid and the fun I had. The carefree innocence of a child.
When we were young, most of us probably enjoyed playing with water and perhaps wished for a water pool to play in? Well I liked to, and I did get one. And no, it isn't the size of some round tub moms would use to bathe their babies, or erm put their laundry in, (btw, there's no relation between the two stated examples).
Yea, my was as big as my kitchen, well, in fact it was! We would under the excuse of helping my mom wash the kitchen floor would end up with us clogging up all the holes and our kitchen flooded 2 cm deep. And then we would have soap all over and skate across the kitchen floor with the floor brushes. Fun times man.
Yet another act was when we as kids were in our mom's car, me and my bro would imagine all ourselves in some great galactic war with all the other cars as some evil alien and try shoot them all down with our imaginary laser guns. We would point our fingers at the cars and their drivers and go "piu piu" and haha those drivers that saw us would give us funny looks and unhappy frowns.
Random Smiles:
Heh, my friends decided to give me a post birthday celebration and heyoo, they figured it would be fun to stuff their unwanted half eaten cake in the poor birthday boy's face and now, I HAVE CAKE STUCK INSIDE MY NOSE? OMG
I could stick my fingers in and chocolate cream would be over my finger. =,= Not to mention the smell of cake wherever i went.
You know, it's kinda weird when you're a better friend to almost all of my friends than I'm supposed to be. They trust you more, they tell you more things, in fact, both of you seem all more friendlier than me. and it's like, they wudn't even know you if not for me? I guess you're just too good for me... Sometimes, you really make me feel like shit. Not that you beat me in one or two things but in almost everything you do. My skills, my friends, my dreams, you shadow me in everything... Even in the things I excel the most at. I wonder if I'm beginning to hate you inside. I feel you're stealing away my life.
Fresh Neeewbies!!
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Wahahas, today was cell assimilation and I got to meet all the newbies that will be joining my cell. Kinda excited for the injection of fresssh newbies~ Get the whole cell thing started again, this time with me co-leading the cell waaaaahaaaas and yea, it gonna be a good experience I guess =) Cant wait for Thursday ^^
Another epic meal of my life. I bet many of you already know despite my really skinny and fragile looking size, I have some weird ability to eat a heck lot. Like seriously a heck lot. And still not get fat lols, which I bet many of you are envious of ;P. Truthfully, I have no idea where all the stuff goes to. So far, I've got comments like pig..., freak, monster, dustbin, bottomless pit, blackhole, a metabolism so high the food burns out even before it reaches my stomach, yea give it your best shot.
anyways, here's one of my exploits
Soup
Plus rice
equals awesomely good food (Time 9:22pm)
Eating while facebooking~ (Time 9:38)
Gone in like less than 20 minutes. o.O (Time 9:40)
Ok, now all those who have issues and fear of getting fat please don't kill me thankx xP Oh, and if you want to see more tell me. I don't mind doing another time with a tub of ice cream, provided you treat me, or at least half? Wheeeeee~
oh oh, And when I showed it to my mom, instead of supporting me, she laughs and is now waiting for me to get indigestion then to laugh at me again. Tsk. =__=
Random smiles:
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get the newspapers! Geddit? Did you get it? No? That's because the chicken got it first.
It's a Saturday and I wish I had people to hang out with but lols don't know what to do so I'm just staying home to think.
My mom asked me why someone could be so sentimental, so much so that he refuses to discard anything. I replied, "In life, people hold on to many things. Some hold on to God, some to friends, some hold on to material wealth, others to goals and dreams. He however feels he has nothing to hold on to, and so he holds on to his memories. He'll learn one day that he has to let go, let go of the past and hold on to the future."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What defines love? A mere affection towards someone? A unique bond with another being? I find "love" something so ubiquitous yet so profound, a core function that powers the very inner drive of every human being.
4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7
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Gotta Be Somebody (Chorus)
Cause nobody wants to be the last one there Cause everyone wants to know that someone cares Someone to love with my life in their hands, There's gotta be somebody for me like that
Cause nobody wants to do it on their own, And everyone wants to know they're not alone There's gotta be somebody else that feels the same somewhere, There's gotta be somebody for me out there
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And then I realize, I'm in another season of change. Many prefer the old me, others have no concerns. But the truth is, I'm just being me. What everyone has been seeing so far are merely facades. I've come to the point where I just wanna be who I really am. I need to let the me truly grow up and stop living as somebody else for once. Giving myself another chance that hopefully, I'll find someone, a real friend.
And so with my adept capacity for being alone, I'm tossing aside my need for belonging and well am just gonna charge out into life, be it whether I'm alone, or that I'll have people by me.
Cause this real me, I can assure you, will be more of a pain in the ass. Cause what good is it that everyone is your best friend yet the very friend they have in you isn't truly you, but someone you made yourself out to be just to please the world.
Many will come to hate me, but I hope that through it all, I'll find someone who can appreciate me for who I am, all my failures and weaknesses. Perhaps no one ever will, but I'm gonna well hold out til I give up again and then perhaps, I'll be back the way everyone likes me to be, a beautiful artwork piece on a large canvas merely hiding the cracks on the wall behind it; in short, living life a lie which pleases everyone but myself.
I am a lone soul lost in a world of melancholy, and finding my escape. I stumbled upon your residence while wandering one day. I knocked on your door daily each time I passed your hut and in time, you opened your door and allowed me in. I invited you to my journey to leave this place. You appeared reluctant to leave, having grown cold together with this world. And while you stay encamped around your small hut, I went out for reconnaissance, to find a way out. Through the day, I spent my time exploring, and by night, I would reside in your abode, sipping tea over a small wooden table. Days went on like this and we had some good times together and our friendship grew. Finally, I found a breakthrough, a way out to the other world and I got excited. Each other day, I would venture further along the path, and the fog surrounding me got thinner and thinner. Each time I came back to visit you, I would tell of great stories of the other side, and you would smile and nod your head. The further I traveled, the lesser time I had with you. Soon, I could no longer reach you, for I grew weary from the frequent arduous trips up and down. I committed to leave this godforsaken land. I begin to pack the little belongings I had, taking only what was necessary for I didn’t want anything to pull me down for this long voyage. I looked to you, your door shut towards me. I knew nothing I could offer would make you follow me but I really had to leave. Leave this barren snow covered land to the fields of luscious green and sunshine. To replace this dull greyscale life with the colours of the rainbow. And I took my first step, trekking down the path, leaving without saying goodbye because I didn’t want to see your tears. And so I’m writing this letter to you, and I hope it will reach your hands. Perhaps one day if I do find my way there, I hope I’ll still remember you, and I pray that you’ll be where you are, if not, that you too are already on the way here.
Shall start with the good things first (yes lol, many sad things happened today =P)
I was waiting for this day since a long long time ago, not that it was my birthday, but I just wanted to see the people that would be involved, like you know, birthday wishes, cakes, surprises and just many more things people do for their friends. Well since it's one of my first birthdays that I'm in a big social environment. And yea, it's warming to see the wishes coming in and such, even from people whom I barely know. Oh and yea, lotsaaaa facebook wishes I'll go reply them all later.
12am came and while I was busy rushing the IP presentation slides for today's presentation, I'm busy getting wishes from everywhere, facebook, msn, sms hahax. I even forgot to say thanks to some of them.
Moving on, yea there was a surprised installed for me today. After the class IP presentation, we all wanted to take pics of us in our formal attires and since I was the last one out of the class, I went back in to take a chair for the camera. And ahaha, when I walked out towards the corridor carrying the chair, out into the brightness of the open balcony, much to my big big unexpectness, there everyone's surrounding me singing the birthday song for me. Haha it's super memorable guys. It's like stepping out of the door and there my friends are all around greeting me with their big smiles and songs. Thanks a whole lot~
Oh oh, and they got me a bag, or some 'crumpler' thingy or something everyone's been saying about it which I'm still unsure of. You might be laughing at me not knowing what it is, which was what happened to my class. I couldn't figure out what it was in the plastic wrapping, I thought it was some laptop bag or something hahaha, or and I did make quite a spectacle of myself throughout the whole time.
But hey, I am really touched. Haha I don't know, I just cant express my thanks to you all~ "Thanks" can only represent just that small bit of what I feel =)
Ok, that's where the story ends. Haha. But I'll write it from least bad to worse okies? =) And noo i didn't mean for this to be a saddening post >_<
So, I was hoping to spend the day with friends but well, everyone's busy and I dare not really ask, but I did tried once. A little dissapointed about it, or haha in fact quite =l but haha, it's ok anyways. So I was free the entire day... and lols, I just spend it sticking around with Timothy. since he's free and yea, just tag along wherever he goes. Ate lunch with Tim and Don, and then to ourspace to play some board games. and then Timothy left to instruct for Hi! Club.
Ok, then the next sad thing. I couldn't go for his lessons as I planned to. Wanted to visit just to observe and well since I had friends there but he requested that I don't go for that class if possible due to some unsaid reasons . But yea, isn't his fault. Just some bad timing I guess.
Next in line would be after quite a quiet eventless day spent in hopes, I'm alone sitting in my bus on the long ride home. Heh, that's where I started feeling a little sad, and was so tired I keep hitting the guy's shoulders beside me while snoozing.
And then because I told my family I would be out for the night (cause I intended to go to Timothy's class), I went back home to erm a... dark quiet house... everyone's out. Not much friends, no family for the day, no dinner for me either. Oh sheesh =/
Ok left two more hahax, and oh boyz, I pissed two people of today... One cause, I don't know. Secondly cause I'm being too self centered and erms, well I don't know. She kinda disturbed us by intruding our plans? Never mind, not an excuse still. Sorries =l
Ok this one's the best. The ultimate bomb. (oh and it's not an emo post. It's jus made slightly ambiguous to avoid direct contact just in case) You know, I'm quite disappointed with you today. You probably had your reasons, but I thought that was unnecessary. But who am I to judge. I can no longer reach where you are, I'm well on to a different level I guess. No longer the same me. I've no longer the same views and perspectives about it. No matter how I try, we've lost the connection already. I've lost grip of your hand. And the rift is growing, with each thing that happens it just keep growing. And I really don't know, maybe I'm done with what I'm meant to do. I feel you're in quite good hands anyway, there isn't a real need for me to be around anymore. I'm ready to let go of this. Maybe I'm tired. Maybe I'm of no use to you anymore. Maybe I just don't know what to do anymore.
Memories for this birthday
My awesome class and that touching scene
My new bag =)
My friends
My most formal wear ever
My endless birthday wishes
You =P
Oh, and something important. Thanks Timothy, while it might have been nothing much for you but yea, without you, I would have spent my birthday alone. Thanks a lot bro. ^^ I'm at the brink of tears... it's been a lonely day...
A word, is just a word, till you mean what you say. And love, isn't love, till you give it away.
I know those may have just been childish fantasies that held no truth, but those words are worth dreaming for. Because they were words spoken by you.
Haaa, celebrated my birthday with some big chocolate mousse cake. And then take photo with me cake and fire~ Had my cake thingy since I'm busy on wednesday and friday and haha I'm leaving my thursday night free if possible, like maybe if anything happens >_<
Yea some random pics. (tomorrow then i post up the pics) =P
The best gift I could ask for cannot be bought by money, nor created by hands. All I wish for are your sincere heartfelt prayers and blessings. Cause everything I really want this year is to grow closer to God, be a muuch much better person, not for myself but for Him. And most importantly, I really really wanna grow closer and build an intimate relationship with my Father. That I'll talk with Him everyday, and may His presence fill my life, and that I'll walk closer to Him each passing day ^^
Haaa, the excitement!!~
Just for laughs, I was taking pictures in the dark ya, so I wanted to do some picture where I was staring closely at the flame. Wahaha, my eyes were so close to the candle, I could smell the fire =P and then got some sizzling sounds. I thought my chocolate was making funny noises. And then it sizzled again. And again. Then I thought, oh no die, I think I just fried my hair. Hurry on to on the lights and heyooo wat cha know, I did!! LOL How cool is that, I actually burnt my fringe from the very flame of my birthday cake!
Woots. OB workshop was a big success. The game plan impressed lotsa people =D, even Mr Tan. haha , all my hard work worth it, he gave us a A straight for the activity part ^^ It's awesome to know I've done something so well. Oh and sad enough, everyone in class chose the same path, like 2/3 of the game was unexplored... so much for me thinking overly hard =/
But hahax, and yea recently my mood has been super bad from the stress. Have been easily pissable and annoyed and have been quite hostile to some of my friends. so sorry guys =( Boo me.
And waha, I realized I haven't been talking to anyone onn MSN other than Timothy, as in starting up a convo, but hahax, and with that there's still people chatting, it's kinda cool seeing people finding me to talk haha =) Thaaanks
Finally, YAAAAAAY not meant to boast but wheee I got 42/50 for stats~ 84% =D I thought I was gonna only get 30's or some where around there but heyhey, I'm one of the high fews! And I studied from slides =P lols. Okies enuf =x
"Happiness if found within yourself, for true happiness no man can give"
“Great works are not done by great men but by men of great faith.”
All these vision I hold on to, the ideal world of what everything life could be simply remains as a projected image on the back of my mind. “A thinker I am; a doer not”, I openly confess to many. But what makes life purpose as it is for one to sit back and daydream of the idyllic world. These visions I see and feel, do I merely confine it to a picture of what it could be, or have I gone down to make a picture of what it will be. The initiative to bring to this world what I can do for it.
“It is not who you are to someone or something but what you can do for it.”
Regardless of whether one is a reclusive introvert, or charming person with charisma, or the humourous dude that “self-pwns”, it all boils down to an action of chosen willingness to do something for someone, or yourself. It’s about doing things you want, as long as it’s right, and not caring a hoot about what the world may say so as long as your values are not compromised.
Are you willing to be that fire? A fire to provide warmth and light for the lost, the weary, the homeless. A wildfire that continues to spread and before long, souls are burning others within proximity and we see the majestic results of a blazing inferno.
“You don’t wait for the right opportunity, you make the opportunity right.”
The race you run, the path you walk, each step you take changes the world. Leaving a footprint in the heart of a life, one by one and in time, and when you turn to look back, you’ll realize the world is no longer the same, not because the world are fated for change, but because you decided and made the choice to do so.
And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” - Corinthians 12:9
Ahhh omg I've been asked to share some testimony for church camp on the thanksgiving service of like 500+ youths and their parents. OMG haha, to keep it short, I'm arent one who bears to reject ppl eaisly and my heart say go yes, but to stand there in front of so many ppl. I think I'll crumble under the intense pressure, or be like really traumatised after it. but yups, after great consideration I think I'ma go .__.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
and awesome. I just screwed myself again. Him, you, me. wootz. I'm quite much a failure to this whole thing. And he's rebuking me in everything I say and do. Not to mention the present overshadowing. anyways. I'm sorry. I'm dam sorry to all those out there I just never fail to screw things up.
"Scars"
Go figure. I'm all set to close up and leave already. Im not the type to take this kind of pain. Goodbye world.
Baaa am not knowing why but I still feel a bit of melancholy. Just wanna stay my own corner and keep quiet, pretend that I'm invisible. Yet would I wish for people to come talk to me. Yet I don't really want to reply them. Lolz. Social relations can be quite a hassle at times.
And then best. Not really something I wanted but seems that my good friend is actually the cutting tool to my life. No, not cut as in the way you cut diamonds but the way you chisel rocks? Every now and then he chips a bit of my good feeling me without knowing, not that it's his fault, but just that he's the nemesis of my hidden personality and that quite sucks .___.
Hais, owells. that's why I dun like pro ppl, cause I really don't like being overshadowed by you, give me some space, I need a light of my own and heh, you're good I know, but you dun really have to stick your knife into me every now and then, telling me things I dun need to know. You're surpass me way lots in the already rare good things I have and now you're making me feel all useless... And he's my good friend? o.o, lose a friend or suffer the pain. The latter I guess...
Oh and yups, sorry to all the peeps I've been cold-ish towards. I well just don't feel like talking too much, but nooo, doesnt mean I dun wan to talk to you, I just have nothing much to talk at times. But I'm still open to conversations =]
And then I need to become the most friendly guy on thursday. Open house + cell assimilation =]
secrets and proximity, you win, I get it ok? now buzz off while I stay here to sulk.
Im bored staying up at 3 so I decided to blog about slightly random things of my life. And yea, you can see from the poor writing that i'm a little whoozy from lack of sleep ;)
I amazingly chionged essay together with Jun Ming at NLB. yupz. 1200 words. it is awesome shitz, haaa never do until so pro before. but also cause I read up a heckz lots before starting my work =) Oh and also cause there isn't any internet and I'm not allowed to make any noise, like heh, talk to people so all there's left to do is essayz =(
yups and woots, my cellgroups gonna have 8 fresh meat from sec 4 =D, and haha by God's grace I'll be taking up a potential leadership role. wahahas, hope to give them a good time with our cell ^^
I still can taste the Ajinomoto taste from lunch's fish porridge on my burnt tongue. It's 3am now... kinda 15 hours later? O.o
"The last thing a fish will discover is water." Kinda true isn't it. Often the times where we take for granted to things around us, only to discover and appreciate it when it's too late. As for a fish, to be out of water might mean possible death, but are we to be like fishes to only cherish things when we lose them?
Am commited to live a good and fulfilling 2010, a life right before God. All the growth, all the thing that's installed for me WHOOO, I cant wait!
Oh and schools starting tomorrow :/ but i heard only haz 1 or 2 days of class :D
Not-so-average teen, deep thinker, perfectionist with quirky randomness. Trained in the art of sarcasm and nonsensical logic.
Overcoming the circumstances of the present, and the issues of my past,
striving in self-betterment with a moral balance with the hope of the fulfillment of the destiny to be a light for Christ in His likeness,
spreading the love of God as how He first loved us
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like You have loved me
Break my heart for what breaks Yours
Everything I am, for Your kingdom's cause
As I walk from earth into eternity ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
- Hosanna -
Philosophy:
I like to think about life, especially pursuing on the concept of love. Not that lovey dovey romantic kind, but the affections we have for one another
that ties us together,strangers, friends, besties, family, that's the love I wanna know about. Love is the essence of life that ties us together,
love is what we were made for and to be, love is embracing the gift of the relationship with GOD.
Find me at Facebook and Twitter Leave a message on my tagboard or drop me some questions if any.
Early up at 6.30 I'm headed towards the white tents for the RML commitee. Yeap, I was one of the first few to arrive. Because Tim told me to be there early but ahh no one came early still.
Found Yvette, Sarah's, Huiqi and yaaa the rest haha hanging out along the beach with the horizon with a nice orange glow painted by the sunrise.
Okies, I was quite nervous before the run, I could see many pro runners, and even an athletic squad are geared up to chiong the finishing line.
Ahh ok ok ok, I'll just get to the run. WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO omg omg omg omg I ran 6.4km in 28m48s?? HAHA WAAAA I totally beat me record of 1km faster than normal. omg I just chionged with all the chiongsters My legs burned with every footsteps, telling myself to press on, dun stop, dun slow down. The times I felt like giving up, but just with the aim in mind of the finishing line, I clocked down an impressive speed, quite to my amazement too.and lols at downing more than 10 cups of the eh 7-up revive. Hahaha spammed ttm
me classmates- cos I dun have any pics of me =/
Alrites, Hi!Club's performance then. Haaaaa, was super nervous when we went up but hecks, I think we did a good job =). Had to squeeze into a tiny stage baaaa. And lols, my mom was within the crowd watching xD oh oh and heh, just go up, relax enjoy and have fun, no stress wahahahas. Me first public performance in life ahhh~
DiSheng's falling off the stage already haha
performance
Be a part; Reach a heart
HEY HEY pics from the PCS Symposium are in and woots, all the cool awesome shots taken by Denise =D I'll post the others when more comes. ^^
cooooool right?
~~~~~~
Ok time for some random abstract thoughts. (here's where it gets long) Yup, in analogy, our life's often depicted as a race.
Some finish it quick, some slower, but it's not about how fast one gets there, more so, it's about the process. How would your story be if your life was written for the world to see?
We'll meet all kinds of friends along the way. Acquaintances that appear into your life and quickly disappear off, others whose lives you run into, as well as catching up with the people you've met before in life, and finally, good friends along the way that pace your journey. All in all, the people we meet along the way play a part in our story, or might it seem that you, rather, were part of their story too.
This race has no rules, and its directions are ambiguous. Some run by gut instincts, some simply going with the flow. There are those who are clear of where they're heading, and those who stay put. Some head off in the wrong direction, and stray off the path and we can only pray that these lost souls find their way back. Yet an amazing to note is that we too, often go astray, but yet out there, there are some of those special people, who give part of their life, their run, to come back looking for you. Through no means of communication, they just run and run, hoping to find you, and guide you back. Sweet isn't it?
We fall and bruise ourselves, we get tired. For the fortunate ones, you know you can count on your friends to support you. But what about those alone? Do we sit there, crying and tending to our bruises? But ultimately we all have to pick ourselves up, and say "I will go on no matter what" and we're off once again.
From our falls, we accumulate scars. And scars to me, are things I consider beautiful. Not because they make you look manly or what lols but heh, within each scar, a tale is embedded for life. And when we look at them, think of them as reminders, a reminder of a life event, reminder of learning from your mistakes.
To round it off, I end this with a value of mine, where i believe that nothing in life is wasted. Not a happening in life goes untouched, just as how every second of our life is penned down in our experiences, thoughts, feelings, memories, values, beliefs, so on and so forth. Be it the worse heartbreak or the joyous times together with friends, nothing really goes to waste in God's plan for moulding our lives.
And just as how every little thing that happens to us is significant, every action you take, every move you make goes a long way to creating an impact as well, albeit good or bad. Cos you never know how much a life you'll touch even with just one simple action. Others may not express it, but don't stop believing that your action are worth nothing. Just do it ^^
~~~~~~~
Random Smiles:
While taking pics with my frens after the run, I stood behind them and tiptoed and then... my leg cramped. Haaa if only I could get the picture, because my face was smiling with the "URGH OMG PAIN PAIN NVM JUS TAHAN AND SMILE" face xD
Ok ok, not so funny heh...
Sorry, no spastic looking pics of me this time =P BUUUT... TADAAAA!
My friend says my cheeks look like eggs. Darn it xD
Alrights, today's a saturday and I'm kinda feeling weirdish again. Anyways, here's to the end of IP. Finally we're free from projects but we still have our exaaams =D Friday was lotsa fun with the class and hey I even got my nails painted with some thingy to make it look shiny, and lol at the number of times I whip out me fingers to admire them.
Usher duty for PCS symposium was haaawt. Me, Timothy and Ashleigh stood under the hot sun outside the Convention Center under blazing sun in our blazers (AHAHA) to guide guests into the reserved lots for like an hour plus or something. Whoooo, we were cooking sia xD Omg the relief we felt when we finally stepped back into the cold lovely comfy convention center.
I believe that's Ashleigh's fingerprint...
Nice shot from me phooone =D
Shall skip to class dinner...
TGIF with class ^^
We finally finally finally had another class outing this semester. It be eons since last sem we got out together as a class. I always liked those 3 hours breaks where the class would be out together having fun. Oh and ahaha, we also kinda got our class identity going during the symposium when we were all spamming pics. Ahhh I love T01 =)
Kinda weird why we're all slanted to the right
So we went out to eh some restaurant named TGIF and ahaha, everyone said the same thing when they saw the menu. "I need go draw money" Haha one meal costs me my months of savings but who cares man, the time together with the class was priceless ^^
just look at Tiongkiat's face...
And woots, I downed a freaking big glass of water in almost 10 seconds. baaaa, and then having fun with timothy in binge drinking water ahahaha
paranormal shot for fun - Balu has three hands xD
After dinner, some of them went home, and the rest bought alcohol to drink >=] and lols, my first sip of alcohol (aside from those lousy bacardi breezers) tasted like cough syrup xD and its blue in colour? And heh, we ended up playing games making ourselves feeling most awkward. ha, I wonder why?
Pictured: Cool Blue Cough Syrup
Yeaa, so that's all. And to reward you for your time taken, here's a pic of me acting cute...
Haha cell was super duper great today, God is great and His wonders never cease to amaze me. Through the words spoken, His presence, our experiences, oh how they fall perfectly into place in His plan to help us grow. Amen!
Got to be a blessing to another dear brother, he got into his 13th choice for JAE. Fyi, that means he didnt get into any of his choice and simply got thrown into some random RP course he totally had no belonging in. But through this I kinda was able to relate my experience to him and haaa omg, it was too through his sharing that revealed God used my words to bless him omg omg omg super cool please?
Anyways, have faith Issac, cos no matter where you are placed, I'm sure God will work mighty wonders through your life. Lives will be touched, eyes will be opened and tongues will praise the God you serve because of your faith. Know that God's presence resides with you no matter how far you go in life and I know and believe, that one day you will look back, and thank God from the bottom most of your heart when you see His plans for you. Stay strong, dear brother. ^^
Besides that, I reflected upon how I've became self-centered over the months, how from getting all the attention, all the fame, the recognition, that through the pleasures of this world, that I turned away from my calling, my purpose, and everything I had set out in my life to do. The little achievements has ballooned my ego, and my desire for it, and I continue to strive on to acquire more of it.
And in time, I've lost myself and so many things around me, my friends, my humour, my cheerfulness, my bonds, my relationships, my mind, my security, my love for people, what I truly want, what I was called out for - A light for the lost, a hope for hopeless, and a refuge for the weary. Far from achieving that, yes I know, but through God's grace and guidance, this vision shall come to pass.
And yea, I hope through this I can yet set myself back on to the right track. My sincerest apologies and grateful thanks to my friends out there that held on to me still and not gave up.
A lovely old song which I thought of. Adapted from Psalms 34. and haha, the singer has a cute funny accent xD
~ Random smiles ~
Ok this is epic. Halfway through cell, I got a message from an unknown number and this is how our conversation went:
Unknown number: Lol crowded leh. Can help me on the internet.
Without thinking (more than 5 seconds) I replied: Wrong number =)
Unknown number: You not darren meh?
Me: Ok erm ya I am. Who are you uh? And wat crowded and help wat? ._.
Unknown number: I'm your brother. Help on internet.
Omg epic can? My bro came home and walked to the room, and yea I didnt have my bro's number on me contacts ever since he changed his number, I LOLed (in the middle of cell) when I saw the final reply.
Haha today was quite a fun day, started off with me meeting TK at the gym at 10am only to find that it's closed from 10 -12 this week. Baaa, then we wanted to go to the swimming pool to put our bags and yups, closed too lolol.
Anyways, we decided to run at the tracks then. I made a good attempt at 30.5min for 6km ^^ and then 30 minutes was spent just sitting by the stairs relaxing, enjoying the breeze and peace. =) Good moments.Went to gym again after lunch and took a looong bath. hehe.
Studied for like 30 minutes before meeting Yve-Yizhen gang for dinner at pizza hut and lmao, I down 4 cups of coke and loool I had the runs after that >.< Hi!Club... omg timothy sabo-ed me to do main lead and with all the gestures and drama ohmystinkingpoops, I cant do it, I dont dare. And and, I have to like grab the girl's hand as well as do a short drama of us fighting zomg la. And waaaa, still have to look at her eyes =,= I realized I still fear girls... Or maybe just on the touch part? O.o owells haha, sheesh.
Mood for the day was pretty calm and good-natured. and then with a bit of melancholy .___. and then haha, ended of the day with quite a bit of fun =)
Sometimes, I wish for innocence of heart, just a peaceful serene mind without those distracting thoughts that robs me of the essence of life.Perhaps then, I could look at you, without fear, without malice, and without anything more than just a friend.
Random Smiles
Was taking train with Yizhen some days back and we saw this advert on the train.
It's kinda an irony? People with hearing losses calling? Can they even hear over the phone in the first place?
Just a simple day spent with my cellmates and assimilating them into the older youths. Just kinda sat in all the conversations and kept pretty quiet, observing and listening to everyone chatting. For a moment, I kinda felt like not doing anything, not talk, not think, not even live(not emo) and just let things happen. Weird random feelings
Night was mostly spend immersing myself in nostalgia and worships songs, especially those I grew up with, those which hold fond memories for me. Yet suddenly I just feel everything is so calm, so beautiful, so serene...
Haha, and a random song I thought of when I was a kid. A sweet melody to a lovely song. OHMYSTINKINGPOOPS, THE FLUTE IS DAM BEAUTIFUL. I REALLY OUGHT TO LEARN IT >_<
It only takes a spark to get a fire going, And soon all those around can warm up in its glowing; That's how it is with God's Love, Once you've experienced it, You'll spread the love to everyone You want to pass it on.
What a wondrous time is spring, When all the trees are budding The birds begin to sing, the flowers start their blooming; That's how it is with God's love, Once you've experienced it. You want to sing, it's fresh like spring, You want to pass it on.
I wish for you my friend This happiness that I've found; You can depend on God It matters not where you're bound, I'll shout it from the mountain top I want the world to know The Lord of love has come to me I want to pass it on.
Same song, another vid...
"Let it be done unto me according to Your Word"
Random Smiles:
This is my school folder for this sem where I chuck everything into their respective folders and I always chuckle whenever I see LMS.
its named "LifeManagementSkills" but because the name is too long they cut the behind part and then it becomes: "LifeManagementS kills"
I've come to begin to enjoy train rides to school. The whole boring 40min-1hr trip would be spent in thoughts. Sometimes random, sometimes meaningful, sometimes pure useless daydreaming.
Like once, I kinda thought back one the things i did as a kid and the fun I had. The carefree innocence of a child.
When we were young, most of us probably enjoyed playing with water and perhaps wished for a water pool to play in? Well I liked to, and I did get one. And no, it isn't the size of some round tub moms would use to bathe their babies, or erm put their laundry in, (btw, there's no relation between the two stated examples).
Yea, my was as big as my kitchen, well, in fact it was! We would under the excuse of helping my mom wash the kitchen floor would end up with us clogging up all the holes and our kitchen flooded 2 cm deep. And then we would have soap all over and skate across the kitchen floor with the floor brushes. Fun times man.
Yet another act was when we as kids were in our mom's car, me and my bro would imagine all ourselves in some great galactic war with all the other cars as some evil alien and try shoot them all down with our imaginary laser guns. We would point our fingers at the cars and their drivers and go "piu piu" and haha those drivers that saw us would give us funny looks and unhappy frowns.
Random Smiles:
Heh, my friends decided to give me a post birthday celebration and heyoo, they figured it would be fun to stuff their unwanted half eaten cake in the poor birthday boy's face and now, I HAVE CAKE STUCK INSIDE MY NOSE? OMG
I could stick my fingers in and chocolate cream would be over my finger. =,= Not to mention the smell of cake wherever i went.
You know, it's kinda weird when you're a better friend to almost all of my friends than I'm supposed to be. They trust you more, they tell you more things, in fact, both of you seem all more friendlier than me. and it's like, they wudn't even know you if not for me? I guess you're just too good for me... Sometimes, you really make me feel like shit. Not that you beat me in one or two things but in almost everything you do. My skills, my friends, my dreams, you shadow me in everything... Even in the things I excel the most at. I wonder if I'm beginning to hate you inside. I feel you're stealing away my life.
Fresh Neeewbies!!
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Wahahas, today was cell assimilation and I got to meet all the newbies that will be joining my cell. Kinda excited for the injection of fresssh newbies~ Get the whole cell thing started again, this time with me co-leading the cell waaaaahaaaas and yea, it gonna be a good experience I guess =) Cant wait for Thursday ^^
Another epic meal of my life. I bet many of you already know despite my really skinny and fragile looking size, I have some weird ability to eat a heck lot. Like seriously a heck lot. And still not get fat lols, which I bet many of you are envious of ;P. Truthfully, I have no idea where all the stuff goes to. So far, I've got comments like pig..., freak, monster, dustbin, bottomless pit, blackhole, a metabolism so high the food burns out even before it reaches my stomach, yea give it your best shot.
anyways, here's one of my exploits
Soup
Plus rice
equals awesomely good food (Time 9:22pm)
Eating while facebooking~ (Time 9:38)
Gone in like less than 20 minutes. o.O (Time 9:40)
Ok, now all those who have issues and fear of getting fat please don't kill me thankx xP Oh, and if you want to see more tell me. I don't mind doing another time with a tub of ice cream, provided you treat me, or at least half? Wheeeeee~
oh oh, And when I showed it to my mom, instead of supporting me, she laughs and is now waiting for me to get indigestion then to laugh at me again. Tsk. =__=
Random smiles:
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get the newspapers! Geddit? Did you get it? No? That's because the chicken got it first.
It's a Saturday and I wish I had people to hang out with but lols don't know what to do so I'm just staying home to think.
My mom asked me why someone could be so sentimental, so much so that he refuses to discard anything. I replied, "In life, people hold on to many things. Some hold on to God, some to friends, some hold on to material wealth, others to goals and dreams. He however feels he has nothing to hold on to, and so he holds on to his memories. He'll learn one day that he has to let go, let go of the past and hold on to the future."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What defines love? A mere affection towards someone? A unique bond with another being? I find "love" something so ubiquitous yet so profound, a core function that powers the very inner drive of every human being.
4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7
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Gotta Be Somebody (Chorus)
Cause nobody wants to be the last one there Cause everyone wants to know that someone cares Someone to love with my life in their hands, There's gotta be somebody for me like that
Cause nobody wants to do it on their own, And everyone wants to know they're not alone There's gotta be somebody else that feels the same somewhere, There's gotta be somebody for me out there
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And then I realize, I'm in another season of change. Many prefer the old me, others have no concerns. But the truth is, I'm just being me. What everyone has been seeing so far are merely facades. I've come to the point where I just wanna be who I really am. I need to let the me truly grow up and stop living as somebody else for once. Giving myself another chance that hopefully, I'll find someone, a real friend.
And so with my adept capacity for being alone, I'm tossing aside my need for belonging and well am just gonna charge out into life, be it whether I'm alone, or that I'll have people by me.
Cause this real me, I can assure you, will be more of a pain in the ass. Cause what good is it that everyone is your best friend yet the very friend they have in you isn't truly you, but someone you made yourself out to be just to please the world.
Many will come to hate me, but I hope that through it all, I'll find someone who can appreciate me for who I am, all my failures and weaknesses. Perhaps no one ever will, but I'm gonna well hold out til I give up again and then perhaps, I'll be back the way everyone likes me to be, a beautiful artwork piece on a large canvas merely hiding the cracks on the wall behind it; in short, living life a lie which pleases everyone but myself.
I am a lone soul lost in a world of melancholy, and finding my escape. I stumbled upon your residence while wandering one day. I knocked on your door daily each time I passed your hut and in time, you opened your door and allowed me in. I invited you to my journey to leave this place. You appeared reluctant to leave, having grown cold together with this world. And while you stay encamped around your small hut, I went out for reconnaissance, to find a way out. Through the day, I spent my time exploring, and by night, I would reside in your abode, sipping tea over a small wooden table. Days went on like this and we had some good times together and our friendship grew. Finally, I found a breakthrough, a way out to the other world and I got excited. Each other day, I would venture further along the path, and the fog surrounding me got thinner and thinner. Each time I came back to visit you, I would tell of great stories of the other side, and you would smile and nod your head. The further I traveled, the lesser time I had with you. Soon, I could no longer reach you, for I grew weary from the frequent arduous trips up and down. I committed to leave this godforsaken land. I begin to pack the little belongings I had, taking only what was necessary for I didn’t want anything to pull me down for this long voyage. I looked to you, your door shut towards me. I knew nothing I could offer would make you follow me but I really had to leave. Leave this barren snow covered land to the fields of luscious green and sunshine. To replace this dull greyscale life with the colours of the rainbow. And I took my first step, trekking down the path, leaving without saying goodbye because I didn’t want to see your tears. And so I’m writing this letter to you, and I hope it will reach your hands. Perhaps one day if I do find my way there, I hope I’ll still remember you, and I pray that you’ll be where you are, if not, that you too are already on the way here.
Shall start with the good things first (yes lol, many sad things happened today =P)
I was waiting for this day since a long long time ago, not that it was my birthday, but I just wanted to see the people that would be involved, like you know, birthday wishes, cakes, surprises and just many more things people do for their friends. Well since it's one of my first birthdays that I'm in a big social environment. And yea, it's warming to see the wishes coming in and such, even from people whom I barely know. Oh and yea, lotsaaaa facebook wishes I'll go reply them all later.
12am came and while I was busy rushing the IP presentation slides for today's presentation, I'm busy getting wishes from everywhere, facebook, msn, sms hahax. I even forgot to say thanks to some of them.
Moving on, yea there was a surprised installed for me today. After the class IP presentation, we all wanted to take pics of us in our formal attires and since I was the last one out of the class, I went back in to take a chair for the camera. And ahaha, when I walked out towards the corridor carrying the chair, out into the brightness of the open balcony, much to my big big unexpectness, there everyone's surrounding me singing the birthday song for me. Haha it's super memorable guys. It's like stepping out of the door and there my friends are all around greeting me with their big smiles and songs. Thanks a whole lot~
Oh oh, and they got me a bag, or some 'crumpler' thingy or something everyone's been saying about it which I'm still unsure of. You might be laughing at me not knowing what it is, which was what happened to my class. I couldn't figure out what it was in the plastic wrapping, I thought it was some laptop bag or something hahaha, or and I did make quite a spectacle of myself throughout the whole time.
But hey, I am really touched. Haha I don't know, I just cant express my thanks to you all~ "Thanks" can only represent just that small bit of what I feel =)
Ok, that's where the story ends. Haha. But I'll write it from least bad to worse okies? =) And noo i didn't mean for this to be a saddening post >_<
So, I was hoping to spend the day with friends but well, everyone's busy and I dare not really ask, but I did tried once. A little dissapointed about it, or haha in fact quite =l but haha, it's ok anyways. So I was free the entire day... and lols, I just spend it sticking around with Timothy. since he's free and yea, just tag along wherever he goes. Ate lunch with Tim and Don, and then to ourspace to play some board games. and then Timothy left to instruct for Hi! Club.
Ok, then the next sad thing. I couldn't go for his lessons as I planned to. Wanted to visit just to observe and well since I had friends there but he requested that I don't go for that class if possible due to some unsaid reasons . But yea, isn't his fault. Just some bad timing I guess.
Next in line would be after quite a quiet eventless day spent in hopes, I'm alone sitting in my bus on the long ride home. Heh, that's where I started feeling a little sad, and was so tired I keep hitting the guy's shoulders beside me while snoozing.
And then because I told my family I would be out for the night (cause I intended to go to Timothy's class), I went back home to erm a... dark quiet house... everyone's out. Not much friends, no family for the day, no dinner for me either. Oh sheesh =/
Ok left two more hahax, and oh boyz, I pissed two people of today... One cause, I don't know. Secondly cause I'm being too self centered and erms, well I don't know. She kinda disturbed us by intruding our plans? Never mind, not an excuse still. Sorries =l
Ok this one's the best. The ultimate bomb. (oh and it's not an emo post. It's jus made slightly ambiguous to avoid direct contact just in case) You know, I'm quite disappointed with you today. You probably had your reasons, but I thought that was unnecessary. But who am I to judge. I can no longer reach where you are, I'm well on to a different level I guess. No longer the same me. I've no longer the same views and perspectives about it. No matter how I try, we've lost the connection already. I've lost grip of your hand. And the rift is growing, with each thing that happens it just keep growing. And I really don't know, maybe I'm done with what I'm meant to do. I feel you're in quite good hands anyway, there isn't a real need for me to be around anymore. I'm ready to let go of this. Maybe I'm tired. Maybe I'm of no use to you anymore. Maybe I just don't know what to do anymore.
Memories for this birthday
My awesome class and that touching scene
My new bag =)
My friends
My most formal wear ever
My endless birthday wishes
You =P
Oh, and something important. Thanks Timothy, while it might have been nothing much for you but yea, without you, I would have spent my birthday alone. Thanks a lot bro. ^^ I'm at the brink of tears... it's been a lonely day...
A word, is just a word, till you mean what you say. And love, isn't love, till you give it away.
I know those may have just been childish fantasies that held no truth, but those words are worth dreaming for. Because they were words spoken by you.
Haaa, celebrated my birthday with some big chocolate mousse cake. And then take photo with me cake and fire~ Had my cake thingy since I'm busy on wednesday and friday and haha I'm leaving my thursday night free if possible, like maybe if anything happens >_<
Yea some random pics. (tomorrow then i post up the pics) =P
The best gift I could ask for cannot be bought by money, nor created by hands. All I wish for are your sincere heartfelt prayers and blessings. Cause everything I really want this year is to grow closer to God, be a muuch much better person, not for myself but for Him. And most importantly, I really really wanna grow closer and build an intimate relationship with my Father. That I'll talk with Him everyday, and may His presence fill my life, and that I'll walk closer to Him each passing day ^^
Haaa, the excitement!!~
Just for laughs, I was taking pictures in the dark ya, so I wanted to do some picture where I was staring closely at the flame. Wahaha, my eyes were so close to the candle, I could smell the fire =P and then got some sizzling sounds. I thought my chocolate was making funny noises. And then it sizzled again. And again. Then I thought, oh no die, I think I just fried my hair. Hurry on to on the lights and heyooo wat cha know, I did!! LOL How cool is that, I actually burnt my fringe from the very flame of my birthday cake!
Woots. OB workshop was a big success. The game plan impressed lotsa people =D, even Mr Tan. haha , all my hard work worth it, he gave us a A straight for the activity part ^^ It's awesome to know I've done something so well. Oh and sad enough, everyone in class chose the same path, like 2/3 of the game was unexplored... so much for me thinking overly hard =/
But hahax, and yea recently my mood has been super bad from the stress. Have been easily pissable and annoyed and have been quite hostile to some of my friends. so sorry guys =( Boo me.
And waha, I realized I haven't been talking to anyone onn MSN other than Timothy, as in starting up a convo, but hahax, and with that there's still people chatting, it's kinda cool seeing people finding me to talk haha =) Thaaanks
Finally, YAAAAAAY not meant to boast but wheee I got 42/50 for stats~ 84% =D I thought I was gonna only get 30's or some where around there but heyhey, I'm one of the high fews! And I studied from slides =P lols. Okies enuf =x
"Happiness if found within yourself, for true happiness no man can give"
“Great works are not done by great men but by men of great faith.”
All these vision I hold on to, the ideal world of what everything life could be simply remains as a projected image on the back of my mind. “A thinker I am; a doer not”, I openly confess to many. But what makes life purpose as it is for one to sit back and daydream of the idyllic world. These visions I see and feel, do I merely confine it to a picture of what it could be, or have I gone down to make a picture of what it will be. The initiative to bring to this world what I can do for it.
“It is not who you are to someone or something but what you can do for it.”
Regardless of whether one is a reclusive introvert, or charming person with charisma, or the humourous dude that “self-pwns”, it all boils down to an action of chosen willingness to do something for someone, or yourself. It’s about doing things you want, as long as it’s right, and not caring a hoot about what the world may say so as long as your values are not compromised.
Are you willing to be that fire? A fire to provide warmth and light for the lost, the weary, the homeless. A wildfire that continues to spread and before long, souls are burning others within proximity and we see the majestic results of a blazing inferno.
“You don’t wait for the right opportunity, you make the opportunity right.”
The race you run, the path you walk, each step you take changes the world. Leaving a footprint in the heart of a life, one by one and in time, and when you turn to look back, you’ll realize the world is no longer the same, not because the world are fated for change, but because you decided and made the choice to do so.
And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” - Corinthians 12:9
Ahhh omg I've been asked to share some testimony for church camp on the thanksgiving service of like 500+ youths and their parents. OMG haha, to keep it short, I'm arent one who bears to reject ppl eaisly and my heart say go yes, but to stand there in front of so many ppl. I think I'll crumble under the intense pressure, or be like really traumatised after it. but yups, after great consideration I think I'ma go .__.
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and awesome. I just screwed myself again. Him, you, me. wootz. I'm quite much a failure to this whole thing. And he's rebuking me in everything I say and do. Not to mention the present overshadowing. anyways. I'm sorry. I'm dam sorry to all those out there I just never fail to screw things up.
"Scars"
Go figure. I'm all set to close up and leave already. Im not the type to take this kind of pain. Goodbye world.
Baaa am not knowing why but I still feel a bit of melancholy. Just wanna stay my own corner and keep quiet, pretend that I'm invisible. Yet would I wish for people to come talk to me. Yet I don't really want to reply them. Lolz. Social relations can be quite a hassle at times.
And then best. Not really something I wanted but seems that my good friend is actually the cutting tool to my life. No, not cut as in the way you cut diamonds but the way you chisel rocks? Every now and then he chips a bit of my good feeling me without knowing, not that it's his fault, but just that he's the nemesis of my hidden personality and that quite sucks .___.
Hais, owells. that's why I dun like pro ppl, cause I really don't like being overshadowed by you, give me some space, I need a light of my own and heh, you're good I know, but you dun really have to stick your knife into me every now and then, telling me things I dun need to know. You're surpass me way lots in the already rare good things I have and now you're making me feel all useless... And he's my good friend? o.o, lose a friend or suffer the pain. The latter I guess...
Oh and yups, sorry to all the peeps I've been cold-ish towards. I well just don't feel like talking too much, but nooo, doesnt mean I dun wan to talk to you, I just have nothing much to talk at times. But I'm still open to conversations =]
And then I need to become the most friendly guy on thursday. Open house + cell assimilation =]
secrets and proximity, you win, I get it ok? now buzz off while I stay here to sulk.
Im bored staying up at 3 so I decided to blog about slightly random things of my life. And yea, you can see from the poor writing that i'm a little whoozy from lack of sleep ;)
I amazingly chionged essay together with Jun Ming at NLB. yupz. 1200 words. it is awesome shitz, haaa never do until so pro before. but also cause I read up a heckz lots before starting my work =) Oh and also cause there isn't any internet and I'm not allowed to make any noise, like heh, talk to people so all there's left to do is essayz =(
yups and woots, my cellgroups gonna have 8 fresh meat from sec 4 =D, and haha by God's grace I'll be taking up a potential leadership role. wahahas, hope to give them a good time with our cell ^^
I still can taste the Ajinomoto taste from lunch's fish porridge on my burnt tongue. It's 3am now... kinda 15 hours later? O.o
"The last thing a fish will discover is water." Kinda true isn't it. Often the times where we take for granted to things around us, only to discover and appreciate it when it's too late. As for a fish, to be out of water might mean possible death, but are we to be like fishes to only cherish things when we lose them?
Am commited to live a good and fulfilling 2010, a life right before God. All the growth, all the thing that's installed for me WHOOO, I cant wait!
Oh and schools starting tomorrow :/ but i heard only haz 1 or 2 days of class :D
Darren Nico Pillai