Just had to get this off my chest somewhere.

You know, I kinda miss my brother. It seems so ironic however, given living under the same room, that we haven't a single word to each other for more than year now. Really, not even a passing gestures. And when we pass by, we're beyond strangers, not even managing the slightest glance of curiosity.

Well, I miss the times we spoke actually. I miss the stupid thing we would say to one another. The fantasies we'd create by our bedsides, fabricating the wildest of dreams from games, anime and life itself. I miss the taunts I'd give him, sparking in him the will to surpass me, and seeing as he surpassed me by sheer determination.

But it all ended that fateful night. Where an over-spirited noble demand cross swords with unguided rage fueled by an unjust past. The ultimatum laid clear, and neither compromised our stand.

I sometimes comfort myself thinking it'd be for the better. After all, I wasn't worthy of that position. Now, I dare not make amends, least I disappoint any last bit of expectations. At some point in time, apologies mean nothing when accompanied by repeated failures.


I wonder what he'd think of me now. Likely not in a good light. Right now, the best I can do is to give him space, stay away without causing anymore negative influence. I only hope he'd understand that I'm sorry for the past, and that right now, I truly am undeserving of any title.

Still, it's rewarding seeing him grow from strength to strength. From the rascal he used to be, into the maturing young man, accomplished and successful. May God bless him double fold for everything and be the light unto his path, to be what I've failed to do; a brother.

Labels: family, life, memories, thoughts

Just had to get this off my chest somewhere.

You know, I kinda miss my brother. It seems so ironic however, given living under the same room, that we haven't a single word to each other for more than year now. Really, not even a passing gestures. And when we pass by, we're beyond strangers, not even managing the slightest glance of curiosity.

Well, I miss the times we spoke actually. I miss the stupid thing we would say to one another. The fantasies we'd create by our bedsides, fabricating the wildest of dreams from games, anime and life itself. I miss the taunts I'd give him, sparking in him the will to surpass me, and seeing as he surpassed me by sheer determination.

But it all ended that fateful night. Where an over-spirited noble demand cross swords with unguided rage fueled by an unjust past. The ultimatum laid clear, and neither compromised our stand.

I sometimes comfort myself thinking it'd be for the better. After all, I wasn't worthy of that position. Now, I dare not make amends, least I disappoint any last bit of expectations. At some point in time, apologies mean nothing when accompanied by repeated failures.


I wonder what he'd think of me now. Likely not in a good light. Right now, the best I can do is to give him space, stay away without causing anymore negative influence. I only hope he'd understand that I'm sorry for the past, and that right now, I truly am undeserving of any title.

Still, it's rewarding seeing him grow from strength to strength. From the rascal he used to be, into the maturing young man, accomplished and successful. May God bless him double fold for everything and be the light unto his path, to be what I've failed to do; a brother.

Labels: family, life, memories, thoughts