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I'm sorry, but it just wont be
Sunday, February 28, 2010

Mmhmm, so the truth's out. Tonight. No point hiding anymore hm?

I lived in empty denial through this while, knowing well you would have understood it all, but I just had to hold on to that 0.01% chance that perhaps, there was still some light. And I wouldn't want to take any small chance in having ruin this all; if it already wasn't.

Tonight, the word is out and I have to face the cold hard facts. You already knew it and should have seen through my many blatant lies. I wasn't running from you, I was running from myself. I’m quite at a loss now, living in lies was so much easier. So I will stop denying it, and present you my side of the story.

So say, I pretty much guessed you would have known already. And yet according to your suspicions and my hunches about your suspicions, it was bound to be. Especially after that night of confrontation, when my actions were misread, in a somewhat ironically good yet unpurposeful way.

Moving along, through the instability of my mind, I fought to bury the secret. Maybe somewhere deep enough that I myself wouldn't find it. But of course, there would be that little bump at where I buried it. I couldn't do a clean job, and it would always resurface.

But I had my reasons. I'm sorry. For all I knew was, there wasn't anything good in having it being made known. Nothing good would have come out of it. Rather, I supposed, things would be worse off, knowing myself. If I may further clarify myself, would be that, plainly, I'm no good.

Saying, "just be who you are" isn't enough. Because, under this facade of mine, lies a great abyss. A part of me that damaged me for life, a part I never wanted to acknowledge. There is no need in revealing this side of me, for acceptance doesn't come easy. Neither does care. Many claim of doing so, but in harsh reality, it’s quite much a discrimination to the hurting that everyone has. Maybe that's why the world we live in is quite a facade now huh? Would you rather love, or be loved?

Pardon me for my overbearing pessimism, because I had my fair share of hurts. Hurts I never want to face again, and hurts I never wanted anyone to feel. But yet, it’s something I can never escape, and probably ever not. For I can’t do this alone, and sacrifices will be great and costly for the one by me. Which is why I simply must not allow it to be you.

You know, I’m most grateful for the joyous times you gave me. Words fail to express my gratitude for even my conscious mind fails to fully grasp the appreciation of it. But I know for sure, this I will remember forever. I thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

As it started out, I’m glad I gave more cheers than sorrow. But sadly, it has come to a point such as this, where smiles cease to shine, and the wretchedness of my heart overpowers me. These fail-safe procedures are what kept me going through the times of despair. I really have battled it out against myself for your sake. They say the greatest enemy is your very self. Well this fight certainly isn’t easy, so much so that I’m in utter ruins and chaos within my soul, where I am no longer who I used to be.

A familiar phrase; I walk, I fall, but I will go on. Yes, I’m not as strong as many out there, I’m frail and weak, but we all do have our needs. Needs my hardened heart says to stop believing. Which is the reason for my fortress; one which keeps people out, and keep me in.

But that experience during September that rocked my life with such intensity that totally changed me, was because I found what I had been looking for my whole life. It renewed my hope that perhaps, this isn’t such a cold world after all. The change you see, was basically my tearing down of walls, the vulnerable side of me. I kept my inner courts, but exposing a few layers clearly made known to me the disapproval of others. It’s not wrong to be me, but it’s how people responded to the weaker me.

So with a glimpse of my dark world, I hope you understand, it’s not gonna be easy to be my friend. And by friend, I mean someone’s who by my side, which you see, it’s a hard job to take. In this world, the word “friend” has been greatly overused and been taken for granted.

But say, my heart was already for you and rather than having we face a difficult storm, I’d rather weather the storm myself, and still work from my end to bring you your smile. After all, seeing you smile was enough contentment for me. I just wanted to love you, from a perspective of a friend. Nothing more. Many criticized my doing, many scoffed my heart, but I’m doing this, because I care, and I care a greater deal for you than for myself. This burden isn't meant for you to take.

I would be lying if I said I didn’t expect anything from you. I always did. I guess I ought not to, for I wasn’t worth an effort of your hands. I resent myself, for hoping, for hoping in miracles. I can’t help but feel that maybe, just maybe, this hole of my heart, was never meant to be filled. Cause I’m not the only one with hurting hearts.

And so, with no excuses left to lie to myself, I’ll leave my future as what it would be. This internal turmoil has taken a great toll on me, and I’m tired, so tired of fighting myself, I really want to return back to my recluse corner. I’d prefer having no emotions at all than to be happy, but with hurts tagged along. Cause I can’t take it, I really can’t.

I apologize for this letter’s egocentric speech, but all I hope is that you may understand my actions. They aren’t the best, but they’re the least I could do from preventing my own life from crumbling. I sincerely apologize that I’ve been unable to provide the same smiles I used to, and that I really wish that you yourself will fare well, stay happy. It’s everything I could wish for, that makes my struggles worth it. I pray that one day, I may be restored, and that, we, could be friends again.

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Goodabyeee Year 1
Saturday, February 27, 2010

WOOHOO, exams are oveeer which also marks the end of Year 1 poly. Yeaps, Not that i really want it to end though. Haven't exactly found the thing I'm looking for heyhoo, you know the times when you're pretty sure things wont be happening the way you imagine or wish it to be, yet there's this still small voice saying, "what if?". It just brings a hope which often balances over a fine line of perseverance, or just foolish dreams.

So exams were pretty fine, I did studied for my exams! My notes for lifespan has drawings all over to help me remember the many many points, which did help =) Lifespan test wasn't as hard as I thought. I guess I would be doing fine then, and I'm satisfied with my effort and my estimated outcome. Oh oh, and contrary to what others say about lifespan being sucky. I think I quite enjoy it hahaha, learnt quite a lot from it =D

Alrities, sooo yeap, having 2 months break. Hahaha nothing much to do.

Things to do/inspire to do

  • Signed up for HMS FOC camp to be GL. Hope I get in and more so hope that I'll be an awesome GL, that I can be part of my kiddos life in Ngee Ann =]
  • I've got Hiclub camp too and yeaps, signing rocks bwuahahahax!
  • 21 days prayer campaign too, so I'll be hard at work on my faith. yups, hope to grow more (in mind and heart, not height...)
  • As for the other days... prolly gonna indulge myself in games or dwell in my own thoughts and hopefully get soem good inspiration.. Feel free to ask me out if need people.
  • Read up on some psychology stuff or old textbooks xD
  • Go into hibernation (socioemotional selectivity)
  • Stop being such a slob
  • Remember to brush my teeth
  • Remember to bathe
  • Remember what day is it
  • Remember it's 2010.


But yeaps, so far year 1 of poly has been quite promising. First sem was fabulous with friends and CCAs =D. Honeymoon period~ Sem 2 was probably the fastest period of my life due to all the nonstop chionging. AND yups, I'm glad I came to poly and I'm proud of it. It's a whole new world for me, even though I stepped in much later than most would have. Friends, fun, achievement, studies, people, haaa good stuffz.

I'm still learning, so give me time.



Random smiles:

Simon commenting on some guy's performance on American Idol,

"ok, plus side, people are gonna remember your performance. The bad side, for the wrong reasons."

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Falling
Sunday, February 21, 2010

I fell. It sucked.

Lols. haven't fell in quite some time le. but heh, I slipped and fall while chasing the bus. landed with my body flat on the ground, bleeeh. I've almost never fallen with my whole body on the floor, especially face down. xD and I fell in front of the bus, so everyone on board could see my comical act.

Yeap, nothing much other than a torn (favourite T_T) pants, an aching elbow and a leg full of abrasions here and there. LOL. when washing my legs with water, it stings like hell and funnily enough, one of my wounds resemble quite like an cooked salmon =D It's rectangular, red and with stripes.

But yea, we all fall in life. And it hurts, it really does. But I pray that everyone of us will be able to find the strength to pick ourselves up and move on. ;)

Lifespan muz diiiieee
Thursday, February 18, 2010

Wheee, study week hasnt been all too productive with lifespan. Its kinda like reading the same topic 5 times, yet talking about fairly different stuff - infant, child, adolescence, adult, aging (elderly) with more extras behind it...

Because ohmystinkingpoops, I'm getting super overloaded by it all, but I have to admit, it's quite interesting to read. BUUUUT, it ends after reading like 5 topics [note: topics, not chapters], I flip a few pages ahead. Yeap, flip flip flip, wth, why haven't flip finish the chapter one. Turns out, I'm only halfway there. Even the main points of a topic has their own many many many subpoints. Oh boy the countless times I scream, pull my hair, bang my head, shut my book, curse and swear, scold the authors and all the other weird stuff studying Lifespan makes one do. Bleh.

Bahaa, today was well... silly.

finally hauled my silly ass to airport, because staying at home with my computer only had me wasting my entire day away. and blehz, got kicked out after 1.5 hours. Wandered aimlessly around the airport for another 30 minutes afterwards LOL. Take the travellators and escalators up and down, go T3, go T1. walk walk sit sit. lols. I think I crossed the "bridge" thingy above the mrt station linking T3 and T1/2 like almost 10 times.

ok moving on. Stayed home. Ate bakwa. Ate leftover oyster omelette from last nite's supper. Heck. I should really stop doing that. Poisoned myself for the #1247139 time and now - overnight raw oysters. But yea, I still live. Reminds me of the honey badger, go anyhow eat poisonous snakes, then go unconscious for a few hours, then wake up to finish of the half eaten snake. And lol, off to shower cause I had a baaaad migraine, and then got the runs, and then felt like vomiting. and then... I just rolled about on the [toilet] floor in agony until... I fell asleep. for 1hr.

._.

Ima go airport swensens tmr. with me RML 1-for-1 coupons. I need some place away from home that I (hopefully) wont get chased out from.

Be most welcomed to join me, cos eating ice cream alone in an airport on a friday which is the end of study break having to chiong lifespan is kinda... sad? o.O haha owells. Get used to it. =]

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Mahjong and dollars
Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Hooray for today!

1. I didn't study at all o.o

was out the whole day, and to be reading my info-overloaded textbook in someone's house would be an outright disrespect to the host, wont it? At least running about and messing with my aunt's dog's face would be better. Little explanation needed.

2. Moooovie.

Watch Percy Jackson.... Lightning thief by myself. In the middle of the night. Aww, poor lonely me. Nahz, I couldn't wait and went ahead to watch it online. Blame it all on exams and 10 minutes of nonstop theatrical trailers. And no Alex, don't talk to me about fundamental attribution error. Shoo off. Nice show, and it progresses quite fast. 10-15 minutes in and you have a bad-ass teacher as some creepy winged creature called a Fury swinging you about like a malfunctioned jetpack. And cool stuff for the Riptide, the golden sword-transforming pen, which is mightier than any pen that's already mightier than any sword.

3. I won a dollar.

From playing mahjong. Wheee, first time playing mahjong with real stakes. And yes, I do know how to play mahjong. I just don't know how to count the scores. Coz the time I played was almost exactly a year ago when playing with old folks while volunteering at the dementia (and stroke rehabilitation) centre, and uh no, dun you underestimate these old chums. One of them could play without rearranging his tiles, or maybe he's just too lazy to touch them. And yea, how to count scores when playing with them? We bet using leftover lemon biscuits? lols.

Anyway back to my amazing win. And so yeap, first half of the whole game I won quite a lot of little. Which means I dun really care about getting high stakes and just win by having anything and everything. That was til I found out I had been winning without knowing actually how to win... I got called false win cause I didn't had a "tai" which supposedly is a license to win. License to win... you need a license to be a winner? Yea go figure, I was pretty lost the next few games trying to understand what killed my 10 streak overkill. Nah, but yup, going for the small gains I won most of the games and got myself $1. Hooray!


And now I'm off to bed. hopefully I'll get to be a king of gamblers tonight. Yay for cheesy chinese mahjong films! zzz... PONG! zzz...

ohohoh, a random omigoshthatissuperduperubercutetothemaxahhimgonnafaint pic for you.


hihi?

In my heart of hearts
Sunday, February 14, 2010

Hi all. Haven't being studying at all, I'm totally doomzed for coming exams. Hais. I dun wna to go to the airport by myself =( It's CNY and Valentine's on the same day haha can collect angpao then spend on the one you love, awww~ And lols to those asking if I have got a date or something. My answers is naaaah LOLOL. Doubt I would. And it will be quite weird too. Never really did celebrated it. I think I'll just do something simple for some of my friends =)

Alrites, had a small pre-cny dinner with my extended family. Not so small actually, 10 course meal, eat until gonna die sia. hahaha. Oyster, shark fin, fish, abalone, crabs, deep fried bread, tiger prawns, pineapple fried rice and desserts. Epicz. But yea, it's time like these that families come together. A simple custom yet it holds so much significance. Everyone coming together and reliving the family spirit, like the old days; in unity and intimacy.

our super duper long receipt

Neeext, I've started a tumblr blog for all my random thoughts and inspirations. Can click -->here<-- and its at under my name just by the left sidebar =D Yups, it's just a blog with muuuch shorter posts which I wont post here. and hahas, I had random souls reblogging and liking my posts O.o that is so cool omg omg omg =D so yuuups, hope you'll enjoy it too ^^ Haha, support my posts if you like it okieees? Thanks =D

And thanks Elizabeth =D for your chocs hahax. 2 weeks past my birthday. and oh my, 2 weeks later then I thank you too =x


Creme brulee~ lols


And just a few extra random shots from my phone ^^


artificial grass at HMS block


blue sky at carpark


empty seats at bus stop

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Agape
Friday, February 12, 2010

Okies random updates for the time~

Decided to go buy clothes. Something I don't ever do. Didnt get anyway cos it dun have my size. Walked around the shop with yz laughin her head of at me at my sillyness =/

  • exams are coming up and my books is horribly scary.
  • been sleeping super late every nite
  • aiming to have a change of heart towards life.
  • gonna invest in someone's life.
  • spending more time on facebook games than on books.
  • trying hard to improve me self
  • passion for sign language heating up still
  • bored at home.
  • woken up from a really really nice dream cos I had the runs.
  • binging on bakwa
  • Aww at facebook group "texting someone until one of us falls asleep. (:"
  • screwing myself badly from a silly little mistake
  • sticking my tongue out further than my nose to see it

Random smiles:


we do that all the time don't we?

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Seasons Of My Heart
Thursday, February 11, 2010

The awakening of dawn, as beads of morning dew collect by the tips of each blade of grass. It’s a new year, a new beginning. The soil is fertile once more, and its land ushering the new birth of fresh green. Germination readily tags along with nature and seeds sprout into saplings, and sapling into a wide display of flora in splendorous beauty. But in the center of the field, a sacred patch of land, only a single special flower grew. This year, it was a simple yet elegant rose, yellow in colour.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Summer came and its soaring heat exemplified life’s passion. By day, trees and plants thrived as they spread their leaves out far, feeding on the intense sunlight. Under the starry skies, low winds fill the fields in perfect symphony, orchestrating the twilight songs as they lift towards the heavens. Life was at its prime. Concealed by the vibrant life in the undergrowth, the rose rested under the cooling shade, and along with the other plants, it grew stronger each day.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

A gentle breeze blew as maple leaves drift down to the ground like magical carpets. Trees turn brown and dried leaves rustles along the garden bed. The fields sway in harmonious resonance with the closing songs of the cicadas. Life in the gardens took a slower pace. In its place, yet another crimson rose grew. A concentrated moonbeam shone upon it as the thornless rose sparkled with a dazzling scarlet glow, enveloped in a faint trail of pixie dust. Nature’s essence as life grew in deeper intimacy; all was bliss. The time drew near, the final test till once again life will be in full bloom

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The snow fell hard. Once upon a time, beauty covered the lands like a mosaic, but the sight from afar only returned a sea of endless white 3 feet deep. The cold was merciless and there was but little life found. A young boy treads across the snowy plains and by a slight faint sound of a snap, he looked under his feet. The rose from memories before, now withered and dry, with crimpled petals and a shrunken twisted stem, it laid on the ground, a weak pulse separating its fate from the others life forms.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

A year has passed. From the horizon appeared the same dawn from a year ago. The fields however, are barren, with barely a few hardy plants surviving the ordeal. The springs ceases to flow, the birds quieten their chirpings. The whistling of a deathly silence remains. The foundations of the land were never built upon roots, but upon merry and fun. When the cold came and shook those bonds, there was nothing to keep them together. The rose, now a faint marigold colour; its petals wilting, revealing a coat of black underneath

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

This is dedicated to all the friends I ever had
to those special beloved few I'll never ever forget:


the times we first met;
the times we teased each other’s looks;
the times you accepted me for who I am;
the times we ate together;
the times we ran amuck;
the times we did stupid things knowing well enough it was wrong;
the times we celebrated our successes;
the times we fought together and cried;
the times we pouted because we wouldn’t share our chips;
the times we laughed over stupid jokes;
the times we were the stupid joke;
the times we pissed each other;
the times we bled;
the times we played games;
the times we pretended to be animals;
the times we stayed up all night drawing;
the times we did that the day before exams;
the times we chase each other with broomsticks;
the times we stood outside class for misbehaving;
the times we gave each other the cold shoulder because of a petty deed;
the times we dug out nails into each other's flesh;
the times we played soccer under the heavy rain;
the times we believed we were quite grown up;
the times we talked about our silly dreams;
the times we made promises to one another;
the times we shared our deepest secrets;
the times we plotted revenge for our exposed secrets;
the times we cursed and swear at each other;
the times we parted ways;
the times we were lonely;
the times we knew we couldn’t do without one another;
the times where there was you and me;

All these, I promise will stay written in my memories, forever.
Til age bears me a curse whence I fail, no longer I to remember.

Each of you holds significance in this heart of mine, and to every friend I have,
I bear the scars upon my heart, sealing the pact of our eternal friendship.

I may have changed, and I’ve lost friends along the way.
But no matter where you are, you’ll remain in my heart till dawn ceases to appear.

From Nico,
(1992 til eternity)



Just a short explanation of the writings. It represents a short time line of certain experiences I had.

the times when you came into my life;
the times where we had those really great and irreplaceable memorable times we had;
the times of quiet and intimate moments spent with you;
the times where I withdrew to my hidden place;
the times our friendships were broken.

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FamRes is screeewed
Monday, February 8, 2010

Yup, screwed indeed.
Todays' famres exam was terrible, hopefuly with a repeat of history where everyone does badly for an exam and it gets moderated. Cos Famres was ohmymamamia. To start if of, when everyone turned the first page over, I can hear laughing and gasping and I turned my too and "OMG DIE LUH" and I turned back the page. Never mind. Take it another deep breathe and flip the page over again and looked at the second question and... "OMG ANOTHER ONE NEVER STUDY DE" and with knowing failure is not too far away, I look at the thrid question and yeaaaps, another question from the journal articles notes we never thought of studying for.

like come on, how do we event study journal articles. Anyway, with 35/50 marks confirmed chop chop gone cause I dunno how to do, I'm glad I didn't waste much time studying because most of the thing that came out for exams were the utterly useless points in the textbook that you'll never expect to appear in a test.

Saturday was a fully slackish day with intentions to start the next day but hey ho, fellowship with church mates took me til 2, and when I came back I quite spent the day of playing games, and when I again set myself to study, guess what, Pirate of the Caribbeans: At World's End played and omg, i havnt watch it before so I chose to sit in front of the tv. Show lasted til 11.30 and yea, I ended up chatting wit friends and my senior to refine my ideas and dreams for Hiclub and it took me til 3am... bessstz and then wake up to go school at 9 to study =l

Oh and i have to mention my exam experience. 2 hours - 8 questions - more than half of which I couldnt answer. So I wrote everything I could with minimal crapping and waited. Wait for another T01 student to walk out of the class so I dont have to be the pioneer one. Nopes, 5 mintues, 10 minutes, 15 minutes and as I watched the many other students handing in their paper, none of my dear T01's came forth. I even signed to Timothy when the invigilator was not looking to ask him go out with me.

I finally decided to just be the first leave early when I saw my friends from another class leaving. And who knows, I was the first to leave, I too was the last. Because no one else ever came out. I mean ok not some monester ate them up or what but omg? they just sat through the 2 hours thinking how to crap? like wuuuuuut? lols. All in all, like wuuuuut the heckz, from everything I've remembered and studied, almost nothing I knew came out. like hellloooo, why do you even test us on things that are useless for our knowing... owells

oh oh and the good thing about it? 2 exams down! left with 2 more weeks for more major GG coming lololols

Dropped by for lunch with T02 at BTP's pizza hut and lol a bit extra but haha still can luh, most of them there already know me. and instead of going home, they suggested to go play pool, but loool we had one heck of a funny shitz time there =D Hooraaay for freedom this week!



I cant promise you that my love will last forever, neither would it be that I'll stop caring, but this I tell you, with all that I am, I’ll do everything it takes to bring a smile to your face.

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Faith working in our lives
Sunday, February 7, 2010

Today's sermon was amazing. The topic was on Faith and Works and to sum it up, it basically talks about the way we live our life as Christians. Does our work, our life and our actions exemplify what we believe in?

Taken from James 2:14-26

Genuine faith is not just a matter of what you say, feel, think and believe. Prove it! Faith is not just about talking, and as the saying goes, "talk is cheap". Does your life show what you say? As Christians, we should not need to tell others we are a Christian, but it ought to be known through our lives and action. Faith as well is more than emotions. We can be emotionally moved but yet nothing gets done. "Oh, my brother here is feeling low, I feel sorry for him" but what's important is, does anything get done? Do you go to him and give your support? If we only desire, and believe that we should be good and yet we still live ordinary self-centered lives, then we ought to be called hypocrites. The love that we speak of, do we show it? Do we set out to love the unlovables, or just love only our friends and the people that we like, are we no different than the common folk? Yet so many of us are only filled with head knowledge, but only little comes from the heart. Stated clearly right and wrong, we continue to indulge ourselves in earthly pleasures. True faith leads to commitment, submission and obedience. And lastly, faith is not determined by how much we do, but by what is demonstrated.

It pains my heart to know and see myself and fellow Christians professing their faith, yet our actions speak otherwise. Oh how our lives instead of bringing glory, has brought shame and sneers to Christianity. Where has the love gone to? Should we not put aside ourselves and stop being complacent and really start living as what we have faith in. To love others just as Christ has love us?

Yet another point is that daunted upon me a week ago was about bringing God into our daily lives.

Is it merely that we appear holy in a setting that calls for it? In church, in Christian gatherings? Do we only think good thoughts, say positive words, carry an optimistic attitude in selective places? And then after everything is over, we return to our 'normal' lives? Lives where we speak profanities make crude jokes, gossip behind people's backs and all other vices? Why is this so? Should not our lives be one? The one that God has set us apart for? Does this not scare you? that we as Christians live double lives, and yet we brazenly acknowledge it without shame and remorse. Repentance only comes to mind on Sundays, as though they were reminders as a "holy day". Do our behaviours speak worthy of our representation of Christ-likeness? Do your actions bring glory to the name of the Lord? or worse, do we as ambassadors of Christ bring shame unto what we are called for. Repent now and change your ways, that we will be written as in 1 Timothy 4:12 that we be an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity. Be the light to this world as your Saviour has commanded, and let not Satan taint you and poison your minds. "Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and praise your Father in heaven". Live a life that when the world looks at you, they will be amazed and be drawn in to the beacon, that they too might receive the hope and unfailing love that you draw upon. Wont you, dear brothers and sisters live your life in glorification to God. Just as how we were redeemed by the Blood of the Lamb, that we do not leave our lives to foolishness, but in all gratefulness and reverence, honour God in our lives.





On a lighter note, here's some smiles.

Random Smiles:

haaaa, Went to Fish & Co. Express for lunch and order fish and chips. And the (reallyreallyreallyreallyreally) weird thing is that, they dun serve knives? O.o It seems their trying to cut cost or something with all their plastic wares. But hey, they give spoons and forks, but the food they serve 1) requires no spoon - they don't serve rice, coleslaw or potato [except soup] and 2) they miss out the most needed cutlery, a knife.

Oh oh and why do we need a knife?

TO CUT THE CRISPY FRIED FISH THANK YOU VERY MUCH. and yea, to kinda of cut our fish into chunks so that we can dip our nicely cut fish bits into the tartar sauce that you stingy-ly give us. Like erms do they expect us to poke our forks and lift the whole piece of fish to bite from it? Do they expect everyone to eat in a fairly uncivilized manner...?


as expected of me - problem solved!

I seriously wonder what's going on in the manager's head o.O

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Closing Ceremony 05/02/10
Friday, February 5, 2010

It's the closing ceremony ooo yea and it's been a day with lotsa different feelings, from mind-breaking stress to being touched by the cares from others and omg fantabulous performances put up by all the classes.

and its gonna be a long post without pictures (cos I was kinda moody the whole day and in no mood to smile)

Ok been a stressfulish day, and my day was kinda totally ruined because someone had to say something. Totally pissed me off with his stupid words. and then from there I was kinda black face the whole day with the endless chain events of bad things happening. Yeap, I'll jus skip all the negative stuff cos it's reaaally long. and yea, I dun think anyone's so free to hear all my woes either.

I'm sorry to all that I've affected from my extreme moodiness. Couldn't help it... I often run by feelings so yea, with all the major shit happening, I jus cant think straight to do the right things. And yea, I think this has been the blackest face I've ever had since so long le.

And yea, thanks to all those and their concern for me. I'm touched by your concern, and thoughtfulness and your initiative to help me. Yea thanks you all ^^ thanks alot, especially to Yizhen and Zhixiong. You two have supported me a heeeeck lots and I prolly would have died without you two.


Class 2c

Performance was great. ok, lols of weird things happening, but yea, the performances were really really awesome, with everyone putting up quite a good show. I think I did badly but everyone says its nice so yea, maybe heh. and yea, at least my first time gesture (walk;run;jump;fly) was nice =D


Hi Club family~

Main Committee's performance was super duper imba, with Phantom of Opera, followed by Bad Romance and then another song I dunno the title to. And whooo omg HuiQi, you are super amazing caaaan. Your moves are super cool and slick with your dancer nature and yeaaa, be more confident ok? I hope to see you take the main lead next time ;)

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