I've heard many people who have lost a loved one say that in some ways, it's like learning to live with an amputation. You do heal, but you're never the same.
But I would also say, that those who go through this and trust in the Lord, discover a comfort and intimacy with God that most people never experience. He doesn't promise an explanation. But He does promise to walk with us through the pain.
- Courageous (2011)
A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows,
is God in his holy dwelling. Psa 68:5
One of my bunk mates challenged me to see how long it'd take for army to break my spirit. Too bad for him, it's only been getting better for me ever since. I love the discipline and things we get to learn. Yet there is one great consideration on my mind. The people. Unexpectedly, it's what would be most likely to break me.
Disappointed to say, but I find it a challenge being with many of the people in my platoon. Seeing their attitudes of selfcenteredness and immaturity, it really disgusts me to see the kind of people this generation is bringing up. I find it hard to understand why people would only think of themselves in everything, disregarding authority and responsibility for their own faults. Sometimes I feel envious when I hear of other companies being enthusiastic and having high standards.
I briefly told my mom my feelings about the people I've met in camp, and she gave quite a thought provoking reply. "And isn't it amazing how God still loves us? I wonder what's so good about us that He loves us so." Really made me think, if God could love everyone, including the worse scums of the earth, why couldn't I. Maybe it'd be something I have to learn this week, and to correct my self-righteous attitude :/
Just need somewhere to vent it out. Twitter's too public for displaying such emotions.
You're my biggest regret. Someone I wanted to protect, yet ended up hurting the most. There's simply no price to a life that can recompense the agony I've caused. Yet part of me cries out of my own despair, the hurts and scars I've gotten from you. Maybe you think all of this has always been rosy for me, so you don't feel a need to hold back your punches. Of so many, some I retaliated, but many I purpose not to, and at rare occasions, continue to pursue.
Maybe it comes a time I should stop doing this with you in mind, stop expecting for you to understand. It hurts so much, whenever I try to do something with my best efforts and intention, only to slapped right back. Yet I can't stop giving in. I can't get myself to become heartless to you in an attempt to end this. Maybe you're just dishing out your own hurts to me, maybe you're being genuinely natural.
Should I? Should I stop replying when you ask me expectation-laced questions. Should I stop thinking that I can make things better if I continue to persevere? Should I regard you as a poisonous person in my life? Should I just leave you to sort the mess in your life and not give a damn? Should I listen to my mind telling me to go ahead?
Spent my days out rewatching an old anime, Toradora. Pretty cute show but filled with deep concepts throughout. Watching it again made me I could understand more of the hidden storyline between the characters. Guess I have quite a few learning points I could take back from it too though. Shall let it linger on my mind a few days more.
Lord, I thank you for everything that has happen in my life, both the good and the bad. Thank you for the person I am today. BMT has been going well for me. It's been a good experience, and I have been growing in body and mind. I pray that You help me develop good spirit too, that I may continue to grow in likeness of you. Help me to put aside anger, and give me a heart of patience and compassion towards those who I dislike. Parts of my life feels uncertain now; friendships and people that I do not know what to do about. I feel worried sometimes too. Father, may my soul find rest and peace in Your arms, and that my security be found daily in your unchanging ways. Fill the emptiness in me with Your great and sweet unconditional love. May I hold on to your hand as You hold on to mine, in helping me navigate through this time of uncertainty. Take care and bless those near to my heart, and you fill our hearts with Your indescribable joy, grant us added mercy and grace in all that we do. Amen.
Not-so-average teen, deep thinker, perfectionist with quirky randomness. Trained in the art of sarcasm and nonsensical logic.
Overcoming the circumstances of the present, and the issues of my past,
striving in self-betterment with a moral balance with the hope of the fulfillment of the destiny to be a light for Christ in His likeness,
spreading the love of God as how He first loved us
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like You have loved me
Break my heart for what breaks Yours
Everything I am, for Your kingdom's cause
As I walk from earth into eternity ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
- Hosanna -
Philosophy:
I like to think about life, especially pursuing on the concept of love. Not that lovey dovey romantic kind, but the affections we have for one another
that ties us together,strangers, friends, besties, family, that's the love I wanna know about. Love is the essence of life that ties us together,
love is what we were made for and to be, love is embracing the gift of the relationship with GOD.
Find me at Facebook and Twitter Leave a message on my tagboard or drop me some questions if any.
I've heard many people who have lost a loved one say that in some ways, it's like learning to live with an amputation. You do heal, but you're never the same.
But I would also say, that those who go through this and trust in the Lord, discover a comfort and intimacy with God that most people never experience. He doesn't promise an explanation. But He does promise to walk with us through the pain.
- Courageous (2011)
A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows,
is God in his holy dwelling. Psa 68:5
One of my bunk mates challenged me to see how long it'd take for army to break my spirit. Too bad for him, it's only been getting better for me ever since. I love the discipline and things we get to learn. Yet there is one great consideration on my mind. The people. Unexpectedly, it's what would be most likely to break me.
Disappointed to say, but I find it a challenge being with many of the people in my platoon. Seeing their attitudes of selfcenteredness and immaturity, it really disgusts me to see the kind of people this generation is bringing up. I find it hard to understand why people would only think of themselves in everything, disregarding authority and responsibility for their own faults. Sometimes I feel envious when I hear of other companies being enthusiastic and having high standards.
I briefly told my mom my feelings about the people I've met in camp, and she gave quite a thought provoking reply. "And isn't it amazing how God still loves us? I wonder what's so good about us that He loves us so." Really made me think, if God could love everyone, including the worse scums of the earth, why couldn't I. Maybe it'd be something I have to learn this week, and to correct my self-righteous attitude :/
Just need somewhere to vent it out. Twitter's too public for displaying such emotions.
You're my biggest regret. Someone I wanted to protect, yet ended up hurting the most. There's simply no price to a life that can recompense the agony I've caused. Yet part of me cries out of my own despair, the hurts and scars I've gotten from you. Maybe you think all of this has always been rosy for me, so you don't feel a need to hold back your punches. Of so many, some I retaliated, but many I purpose not to, and at rare occasions, continue to pursue.
Maybe it comes a time I should stop doing this with you in mind, stop expecting for you to understand. It hurts so much, whenever I try to do something with my best efforts and intention, only to slapped right back. Yet I can't stop giving in. I can't get myself to become heartless to you in an attempt to end this. Maybe you're just dishing out your own hurts to me, maybe you're being genuinely natural.
Should I? Should I stop replying when you ask me expectation-laced questions. Should I stop thinking that I can make things better if I continue to persevere? Should I regard you as a poisonous person in my life? Should I just leave you to sort the mess in your life and not give a damn? Should I listen to my mind telling me to go ahead?
Spent my days out rewatching an old anime, Toradora. Pretty cute show but filled with deep concepts throughout. Watching it again made me I could understand more of the hidden storyline between the characters. Guess I have quite a few learning points I could take back from it too though. Shall let it linger on my mind a few days more.
Lord, I thank you for everything that has happen in my life, both the good and the bad. Thank you for the person I am today. BMT has been going well for me. It's been a good experience, and I have been growing in body and mind. I pray that You help me develop good spirit too, that I may continue to grow in likeness of you. Help me to put aside anger, and give me a heart of patience and compassion towards those who I dislike. Parts of my life feels uncertain now; friendships and people that I do not know what to do about. I feel worried sometimes too. Father, may my soul find rest and peace in Your arms, and that my security be found daily in your unchanging ways. Fill the emptiness in me with Your great and sweet unconditional love. May I hold on to your hand as You hold on to mine, in helping me navigate through this time of uncertainty. Take care and bless those near to my heart, and you fill our hearts with Your indescribable joy, grant us added mercy and grace in all that we do. Amen.
Darren Nico Pillai