First day of block leave to chillout! Went baking with the cell. We made random butter cookies and jelly heart cake and marshmallows dipped in nutella! Our cookies turned out worse than we hoped but we still had fun spending time with each other and laughing our heads off. I swear nutella goes well with everything~
All our ingredients!
Snacking on nutella-dipped marshmallows while the rest do the work wahaha!
Jelly hearts in the making
Gabriel's spongebob cookie
Pizza-sized cookie (which no one ate)
Random beef steak we decided to cook
Mouldy looking cookie from too much blue colouring
TUESDAY
Met up with Architects for dinner at night. Kinda love how we're still together as a group since mroe than a year ago. This is the only sole group that disproves my notion towards camp groups being one-off and temporary. It shows that if we chose to, we could make it happen. I'm thankful for everyone in the group, and being accepted for the joking idiot I am there.
WEDNESDAY
Had a superb and meaningful time with cell. Was invited to lead that week. Racked my head the whole day over what I could bring in that week. It wasn't till the around last hour (6pm) that I somehow managed to pull together something, revolving around the accountability and upholding of christian brotherhood. A God-led session, I'd say it was. It's a feeling that's growing ever so familiar. To lead not by my own wisdom but through the grace of God. The things you do, the words you speak, you just know it isn't the typical you doing all this. Had a really great activity once again much to the anticipation and excitement of some members, that which I am extremely grateful and thankfully extolled for. Love to see the cell members enjoying themselves.
Cell playing games~
How well do you know your friends?
Abel sitting in Samuel's boot! One in a lifetime experience!
THURSDAY
Interpreting for a deaf staff from NP at a workshop organized by Rohei. Rohei is a really good organization, I'd like to dream working there. Their workshops, camps and acitivities and thoroughly well planned and aptly designed to invoke and capture specific learning outcomes, something I greatly envision and admire. The people too have a special touch to them, something undeniably attractive, I wonder what's the secret behind them.
Anyway, got to interpret for this deaf staff which I met for the first time. Interesting thing is, he comes from deaf parents. Deaf fmailies develop very differently from that of mixed conditions. He's a really nice guy, outgoing and friendly. And a pity, my reading skills have rusted terribly, especially finger-spelling. Had to "chicken" re-spelt before I could even get anything close. Sighs.
FRIDAY
First half of the day was back at interpreting again. Glad to have the exposure. Rohei offered to pay us, which would have been an insane amount of $120 for that day. I declined feeling terrible to take money for a simple service like this.
At midnight, the cell executed our plan for night cycling. Some of them couldn't join us at the last minute sadly. The rest of us were mostly worn out by the day's activities. Nonetheless we enjoyed ourselves. Our route was from pasir ris to east coast park down my route march, and then through the park connectors on our return. Rode a double bike with Jewel after great persuasion. I love double bikes, I love the increased inertia that propels our bike forward for a longer pace, and that it feels like a rocket, and lastly that there's someone riding together with you. I made Jewel yell and scream a lot with my silly antics, it was quite entertaining. All in all, when the day ended (started to be exact) we all flopped around in macs waiting to return our bikes. And it was a night well spent~Saturday
SATURDAY
Went to TSS followed by meeting up with Tim for our one-to-one chat. Really great having a friend like him to share our deep thoughts with. Sometimes there no other people that can understand the things we share and our chemistry has something special to it. Updated each other on some of our happenings as well as some of the issues we were facing currently. He's really a brother for keeping, I pray to God that I won't lose him, at least for as long as I can.
SUNDAY
Last day of the week. Had my last visit to church before confinement. I love going there. It always brings be back closer to God no matter whhat I've done, where I've been. Refresh myself all over again,together with a new teaching and principle to lay down in my life. Headed out to Bake & Brew with cell for lunch. Spent a lot of money there but the food was definitely good.
The kids that got left behind xD Too lazy to lift our butts.
So yea that's it! It's been an eventful and long week, going to say that it's been time well spent! Glad to have this time and chance to spend with the people around me. Next week, back to army!
Cell planned a farewell lunch for me and zx :D Am gonna miss them surely now that I wont be able to join them.
I remember my first two years in PolyITE1 wasn't all so good for me. Was the only one of my level/age for two years thus feeling disconnected from the rest. Been always dissatisfied at way things been. Was until my last year where I figured, sintead of thinking what this cell was for me, what could I be for the cell instead?
From there, things really took off, I learnt to opened up more, and to care for my fellow cell mates, sometimes hearing them out when they have troubles. And oh haha it makes me really happy inside whenever they get excited when I say there's activities, makes me feel really appreciated and motivated to plan new applicable stuffs to do haha.
Anyway, hope things continue to be better. A part of me regrets not doing more for this cell, but I know things will be well cos God's in control =)
24 And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, 25 not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another —and all the more as you see the Day approaching.
Cell was wonderful today. I'm beginning to enjoy cell more and more than I ever expected. Finally being able to feel like one of everyone. Don't need to act so tough all the time. Be there, share my troubles. As I lay down my own mask, I'm beginning to appreciate everyone and all their unique personalities, how everyone has a joke after them, or a stereotypical trait. Hoorah, I'm the chim one that messes people's mind in this convulted links of logic and philosophy. LOL.
Feeling blessed tonight, to have this group of Christian friends. No holymoly stuff. Just a time of authentic fellowship.
And I wanna say, Dang I missed ya all! :D Really enjoyed cell and everyone's company today~ I think everyone in this cell is super unique and adds to the rojak flavour. The kids, the one's who lived past two-decades, the young-at-heart's, the hunks, the chunks, the cute, the blur, the ones who come in fun sizes, the entertaining drama-mamas, the 'celebrities', the ones you'd occasionally sigh to yourself and wonder why you're even friends, the ones who are given 5minutes to speak, the ones who are given 30 minutes to think what to say, the ones who make you question yourself why 1+1=2, the easygoingcarefrees, the jokers, the jokes, the ones with full attendance, the blue moons, the ones whose names are subjected to endless puns, the ones who like have the hilarious habit of like using the word "like" like excessively; and finally, the ones who are in this cell; Love ya all <3 I feel so blessed ^^ Thank you God for PolyITE1~
I can do all things through Christ. I can move a mountain if You are the strength of my life I can do all things through Christ, when You are the strength of my life.
Whatever trials may come my way, I will worship You always, forever trust in Your unfailing love. When every doubt and fear press in, I still hear Your voice within, forever trust in Your unfailing love.
2011's been a really tough arduous year. Be the strength of my life.
Watched this video at MHI today. I guess what hits home is knowing that despite all the shit we get ourselves too, there's still someone that sees hope in us, loves and accepts us. No, we're aren't hopeless messed up shit. We're just frightened little kids, confused and lost, seeking out the answers to our needs; and it's alright to be. All we have to do is let go of our false securities and let faith work its way in us. And then miracles happen.
Been out for dinner with the new cellies. It's another year and there's a huge batch of new people, all of whom seems really friendly and nice. Looking into a fun and exciting year ahead with them.
This time, I hope to redo things. I wanna make this cell a positive and loving place, where people can be themselves in whatever manner, weak, broken, renewed, hopeful, loveless, loved, most importantly, themselves.
Gonna work extra hard to know the newer batch, and hopefully be able to build some connections with them to understand them, be with them and help them mould.
Roxane's moving on next month, and I guess I really have to up my efforts to maintaining what I want. Hopefully the newer bunch will be easier to work with.
So far, they have seen my boosted side, and I hope they wont be disappointed with the "darker" side of me. But owells, til then. Gonna hold my fort to give them my best. I need to start loving them and making them part of my life.
Dear God,
I pray none of them have to feel lonely. I pray they will find a home as one. I pray they will find acceptance and love. I pray they'll grow and know you more. I pray I can be an impact to them. I pray I can be a support for them. I pray You'll help me have a heart and love them passionately.
I pray, You'll make me a better person for everyone of them. I need Your strength and wisdom.
Wheee, it's gonna be the end of two weeks since the start of break, another two more to exams, I really got to start studying, or maybe mugging, for the third time in my life... =l Gonna ramble on because I have no concrete idea what to write about.
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Been slacking around, reading personality theories with much enthusiasm, I find them super interesting when read in depth. I wish there was more time to study all this, what we learn in class is so minute, so, out of detail sometimes. And lol, I wish I can come up with my own theories but baaah, the way of psychology is way too much for me. I'm keeping more towards my own personal theories towards social dynamics :)
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To the times we feel like burdens.
Well, it’s cos we think we are, which makes us feel like we are, and then treat ourselves like we are, and therefore we get the effects as though we are. But the truth is, to the people that love us, there is no such thing as burdens, and to share this load with you would be their joy and honour to.
I used to think I was one. Now I'm learning not to think I'm one. ^^
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Oh boyz, signed up to be main comm for a church camp for youths. I'm in Programming. I think its a big task and role. I don't think I can do it, but I'm gonna believe I can. I think perhaps, there's more then our rational mind can conceive so why not take the chance, do something that's so undesirably avoidable yet necessary in time. And dang, all those ideas, I has none. Slogging my brains (even though I'm not really thinking it out seriously) just to come up with some good idea. Bah, I'm tired of trying to think up of something but omg, there's only 3 weeks left to the camp. Cmon inspirations, please come to me.
And shucks, I really need a conducive environment to let these thoughts flourish. I need to have like an open active discussion with the team to let the ideas keep flowing, not the go home and think kind. zzz
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I think this camp is helping me grow a lot. Firstly, it's increasing my leadership experience and potential from which I have been escaping from. Hais, being a leader, is like one of the hardest roles, there's so much things to consider, and besides, the journey of a leader is lonely and not easy. Owells. slowly I guess ._. And lols, the camp is about the lies and perceptions we have that limit ourselves or are destructive in both personal and external ways. And they said, since we are the leaders of this camp, we need to set a good example, in faith, conduct, thoughts and life.
And yup. It's time I guess. Stop running away from myself and all these false thoughts about myself and this world. I know the truth yet I allow these lies to take over. It's time to regain lost ground. Difficult and uncomfortable it's gonna be, RAWR I'M GONNA FIGHT YOU. =)
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And, I've observed a common trait in people's behaviour seemingly rooting from the same cause. Kinda interesting. Wished I could do something about it though. Wish I could do more then just be one of them.
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Briefly went through all my previous posts. 255 of them now. Pretty amazing to see how I've been thru the years. All my past experiences, feelings, thoughts, memories, the people, my everything. Opened some of the draft posts that never made it out, I'm kinda amazed how I used to write last time. I think it's got a pretty nice touch to it. Haha, I got so excited while reading through all the posts, especially those with a cryptic and imaginary touch to it. Sheesh, I hope I can get that back =D
Today was Good Friday/Easter service. Love watching the skit, remembering my first time with it when in Thailand on a mission trip. Really meaningful drama and beautiful song to accompany it as well.
Had to leave just before the altar call cos I had to go for a family dinner. And I stayed on as long as i could, because I still wanna watch everything, but still had to leave before the most anticipated part of the service. Had to go cos my mom said we would be rushed if I ended late.
Much to my displeasure, I had a slight rant at my mom about causing me to miss the segment which I really want to observe and be a part of. Watching the new believers and backslided peeps coming back to Him.Dishonourable conduct aside, I think there's something we can all learn ba.
First would be that we as humans, do not, and should not, give God a timing. By this I mean it isn't our right to plan our schedules and then fit God in wheresoever we feel we want Him to be. Such a principle should apply to life, and the very least so, anything to do with God; like services, prayer meetings and stuff. If it has reached the designated time for the service to end, but yet spirit of God is still moving, then let it be. Suggest to those who want to leave first to do so, but don't take control of the movement and power. God should never ever be confined by time, or more so, our time, for He is an infinite God with a perfect plan. And it is so that in His time, all things are made perfect.
The underside of a tapestry cloth appears ugly and messy while the tailor is sewing it, but when the last strand is threaded, he flips the cloth and tadaa, it's a wonderful masterpiece. A work of fine art and beauty. But it is during the process, that we cannot understand what the creator is working at, but that doesn't mean nothing right is going on, but that he is at work at his already thought our plan on how to do things. So yea, we too need to let God do His work freely, and by freely, it means without restrictions.
Second point. It struck me when my mom apologize about indirectly causing me to miss the altar call and that she thought it was nothing much extra ordinary and ok to miss. I state this as an example and not as a judgment. This is an example of how we Christian take God's for granted sometimes. All the other blessings He provide for us, is it simply something we brush off off? Here we are talking about saved souls, that the lost come to the light and to know their Saviour. It is not soemthing to be treated lightly, just as God the Shepherd rejoices greatly over one lost sheep, so does all heavens rejoice triumphantly over a lost soul found, and we too are to take pride in that as well.
Third, it is important not to forget that we were once lost too, and not that we, now in the light, rejoice and forget about the rest. It is also yet our duty to bring the rest of our friends, families and the lost together to be able to share this joy with us. Our faith may be four our owning, but yet it is also for sharing, not for keeping. We have to take charge the responsibility of the lives of others as much as our owns.
Yups, random thoughts on a Good Friday evening. Ciaos.
Today's sermon was amazing. The topic was on Faith and Works and to sum it up, it basically talks about the way we live our life as Christians. Does our work, our life and our actions exemplify what we believe in?
Taken from James 2:14-26
Genuine faith is not just a matter of what you say, feel, think and believe.Prove it!Faith is not just about talking, and as the saying goes, "talk is cheap". Does your life show what you say? As Christians, we should not need to tell others we are a Christian, but it ought to be known through our lives and action. Faith as well is more than emotions. We can be emotionally moved but yet nothing gets done. "Oh, my brother here is feeling low, I feel sorry for him" but what's important is, does anything get done? Do you go to him and give your support? If we only desire, and believe that we should be good and yet we still live ordinary self-centered lives, then we ought to be called hypocrites. The love that we speak of, do we show it? Do we set out to love the unlovables, or just love only our friends and the people that we like, are we no different than the common folk? Yet so many of us are only filled with head knowledge, but only little comes from the heart. Stated clearly right and wrong, we continue to indulge ourselves in earthly pleasures. True faith leads to commitment, submission and obedience. And lastly, faith is not determined by how much we do, but by what is demonstrated.
It pains my heart to know and see myself and fellow Christians professing their faith, yet our actions speak otherwise. Oh how our lives instead of bringing glory, has brought shame and sneers to Christianity. Where has the love gone to? Should we not put aside ourselves and stop being complacent and really start living as what we have faith in. To love others just as Christ has love us?
Yet another point is that daunted upon me a week ago was about bringing God into our daily lives.
Is it merely that we appear holy in a setting that calls for it? In church, in Christian gatherings? Do we only think good thoughts, say positive words, carry an optimistic attitude in selective places? And then after everything is over, we return to our 'normal' lives? Lives where we speak profanities make crude jokes, gossip behind people's backs and all other vices? Why is this so? Should not our lives be one? The one that God has set us apart for? Does this not scare you? that we as Christians live double lives, and yet we brazenly acknowledge it without shame and remorse. Repentance only comes to mind on Sundays, as though they were reminders as a "holy day". Do our behaviours speak worthy of our representation of Christ-likeness? Do your actions bring glory to the name of the Lord? or worse, do we as ambassadors of Christ bring shame unto what we are called for. Repent now and change your ways, that we will be written as in 1 Timothy 4:12 that we be an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity. Be the light to this world as your Saviour has commanded, and let not Satan taint you and poison your minds. "Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and praise your Father in heaven". Live a life that when the world looks at you, they will be amazed and be drawn in to the beacon, that they too might receive the hope and unfailing love that you draw upon. Wont you, dear brothers and sisters live your life in glorification to God. Just as how we were redeemed by the Blood of the Lamb, that we do not leave our lives to foolishness, but in all gratefulness and reverence, honour God in our lives.
On a lighter note, here's some smiles.
Random Smiles:
haaaa, Went to Fish & Co. Express for lunch and order fish and chips. And the (reallyreallyreallyreallyreally) weird thing is that, they dun serve knives? O.o It seems their trying to cut cost or something with all their plastic wares. But hey, they give spoons and forks, but the food they serve 1) requires no spoon - they don't serve rice, coleslaw or potato [except soup] and 2) they miss out the most needed cutlery, a knife.
Oh oh and why do we need a knife?
TO CUT THE CRISPY FRIED FISH THANK YOU VERY MUCH. and yea, to kinda of cut our fish into chunks so that we can dip our nicely cut fish bits into the tartar sauce that you stingy-ly give us. Like erms do they expect us to poke our forks and lift the whole piece of fish to bite from it? Do they expect everyone to eat in a fairly uncivilized manner...?
as expected of me - problem solved!
I seriously wonder what's going on in the manager's head o.O
Ahhh omg I've been asked to share some testimony for church camp on the thanksgiving service of like 500+ youths and their parents. OMG haha, to keep it short, I'm arent one who bears to reject ppl eaisly and my heart say go yes, but to stand there in front of so many ppl. I think I'll crumble under the intense pressure, or be like really traumatised after it. but yups, after great consideration I think I'ma go .__.
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and awesome. I just screwed myself again. Him, you, me. wootz. I'm quite much a failure to this whole thing. And he's rebuking me in everything I say and do. Not to mention the present overshadowing. anyways. I'm sorry. I'm dam sorry to all those out there I just never fail to screw things up.
"Scars"
Go figure. I'm all set to close up and leave already. Im not the type to take this kind of pain. Goodbye world.
Church camp was awesome right down to the last day. The camp had 500 people all from Megalife - Sec sch to JC, and Highlife - Poly to Uni.
At first it was tough bonding with all the younger kids and my group only had 3 that were around my age or older but in the end I got to bond with everyone of them =)
The older ones are well... think more and the younger ones are just fun and sweet, oh and cute. very. And they were like 14 years old? O_o oh and yea cute cause one of them is like super gullible and thought igloos were made naturally.
Bus ride was fun in some sorts. Played Taiti(?), Bridge, Murderer, Indian Poker and had a really good time bonding through it. And all those cheers aha.
Superman is a man of steel; Human Torch will burn for you; Teen Titans are young and bright; Green Lantern will shine his light; Captain Planet will save the earth; Ironman will show his worth; We are Heroes of the Sky; Now its time for us to fly; To infinity and beyond!
The tune goes by those army cheers not sure how to say and HEH, we had to do that cheer with one arm stretched high up like flying WHILE balancing on one leg, the other lifted up to make a "h" LOL
Camp only had one day of fun, three of which were left to workshops and sermons, some of which I was touched, some of which were insightful, meaningful and of course, some that I just fell asleep in. Let's see, I forgot quite a bit of it but mainly about championing for God, rethinking values, conquering fears, exploring leadership, gender specific, having faith, haha ah owells, many many more good and interesting and applicable and powerful stuffs =)
Yup, and the one and only games day. Had a simple game requiring us to tie a balloon on our legs and then running across an indoor stadium to our safe areas and well just seeing who can collect the most balloons and let me tell you, there is like a few hundreds of teens running about its insane I tell you. And then we will split up into different categories. Floorball with brooms, and watching some of them play with a feather duster cos thier brooms got confiscated for playing rouhgly. Soccer while having to be on all fours, stomachs up like a inverted crab. Tough.
AND for my game was captain's ball with omg, way crazier stuff than ever before. We had whole bunch of bananas, 2 balls of cabbage, 2 papayas, one which I totally witness a scene of someone just throwing a papaya reaaaally high and for it to land with no one catching and it just went, well SPLAT literally... Oh and the best? a RAW CHICKEN. you could watch the limbs and body spread out while rotating in the air in slow mo and then PIAK onto the floor. Playing it was quite hard having the floor quite lubricated with papaya mush and banana slush and plenty of leaves of cabbages to ride on the oily chickenated-floors. Good stuff indeed. And and before I forget,
Point system: Any kind of fruits including papayas that totally mimick bombs, boomerang shaped bananas, heavy shedding ball of cabbage, Chicken wings or thighs, chicken parts, Whole chicken, 1 POINT Chicken head 10 POINTS
Worship was a wonderful experience and time, with our hearts yearning for God. Haaa, quite a few songs I never hear before but yup still was gooood. Lifted my hand higher than ever, though I never once did jump like the Megalifers but yeaaaps, wanted to, but just wasn't my thing. Oh and some awesome lines
Heal my heart and make it clean; open up my eyes to the things unseen; show me how to love like You have love me; break my heart for what breaks Yours; everything I am for Your kingdom's cause; as I walk from earth into eternity.
And yups, felt a calling to lead a new life, one for God, with the heart for others. NEEEEW LIFE, and to really just drop the past and everything that has held me back. Get into a ongoing relationship with God. Yups, time for revival in me =) And boy oh boy, I think i might go into leadership training. I think its time I picked up what's necessary for me and press on. On a sidenote I do quite miss my Megalifer mates =l they were a fun bunch but heh, dun think I'll ever see them again, or at least once in a year? Haha owells but such is life isn't it. time to move on!
Because most of the essence of the meanings are captured in those words, and that the best of it comes just at that instant, I kinda posted most of the copied transcript.
My friend told me: *i felt tt u changed more than when u said u wanted to regress
I think I quite agree with that: *ha *dam *i think so too *how u feel anyway *u also no see me *dam i hope i not going down wrong path *oh and *then i thot *why stay the same *wat do we get out of life *when life is a ever moving thing, and for us to stay on one spot *I decided to move *for better or for worse *its gonna be a learning experience at least *its for ppl like me that im thinking like this *this new change is sparked off when my fren told me no one's gonna wait for me, that's the world too fast-paced *and of cos haha, from my church sermon on sunday =P *to hav the heart for ppl
And then she said: *i hope u will like the new u
My answer to all you out there: *heh i hope *sometimes i also dunno ba *im in a way suddenly drawn in to the thot that if ppl dun accept you *then suan le ba *im good living alone anyway *and besides *if the world doesnt hav time for those who needs it *I wanna make time for those who need it *if the world doesnt hav time to care *i wanna make time to care *if the world doesnt have time to listen *I wanna be that listening ear *tho of cos i kinda need to learn how to do all of that *but its kinda all from, since no one has time for the 'needy' and ppl like me. *Why wallow in the mud waiting incessantly for something that might not come. *Why not be that something, be that someone. *go out there and touch one life at a time. *stop living so that people will like me *and start living to like people
Ha, today was a beautiful work of God. Last nite I had been up late listening to all the Don Moen songs I used to hear as a kid. Totally brought back many many fond memories. But, ya a particular song stood out; Rescue. I love music by Don Moen. =) Its usually quite soothing.
Haha, and today during church worship, we sang it too. O_O and cos normally they dun usually play such songs but yea, its yet again another wonderful lyrics composed by great worshippers of God.
The chorus particularly spoke to me the most.
cause I need you Jesus; to come to my rescue; where else can I go; there's no other name; by which I am saved; captured me with grace; I will follow you.
We are all in need of God's saving grace to help us, save us, rescue us, for there is none other we can turn to.
Its the second week of holidays. ARGH I HAVENT DONE MY ASSIGNMENTS. Time to buck up =,= And haha, the 2nd week is so gonna be fun. Going out with friends almost everyday =)
Went for some Rotaract event on some treasure hunt for kids. Haha, they mentioned primary school and lower sec kids, but in the end we were only supposed to take care of cute little 7 year olds.
And like the ratio was 2:1 youths to kids. Haha, kinda too much, but oh wells. Took the initative to engage a cute boy by the name of Swee Hao. A lovely little guy who enjoyed drawing.
Then there's this other girl who so felt like stepping on my armourless feet with ther muddy shoes. Step, stomp, twist. Till my leg was horribly red. haha XD Most scary still was when i move my legs around so she cudnt step on them. Guess what she said to my friends. "Aha, that kor kor coward, he is a loser." Uh hur... absolutely no comments...
But haha its alright, all for the fun of it =)
Hmm, it seems my time has come to take up my assigned role, to be a leader. God has appointed me to be mentored, to be crafted and moulded to become the tool needed for His purpose. And with faith, I shall take on the challenge. The journey there might be tough, but You will always be there for me. =)
Psalm 5:11-12 But let all those rejoice who put their trust in You; Let them ever shout for joy, because You defend them; Let those also who love Your name Be joyful in You. For You, O LORD, will bless the righteous; With favor You will surround him as with a shield.
Not-so-average teen, deep thinker, perfectionist with quirky randomness. Trained in the art of sarcasm and nonsensical logic.
Overcoming the circumstances of the present, and the issues of my past,
striving in self-betterment with a moral balance with the hope of the fulfillment of the destiny to be a light for Christ in His likeness,
spreading the love of God as how He first loved us
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Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like You have loved me
Break my heart for what breaks Yours
Everything I am, for Your kingdom's cause
As I walk from earth into eternity ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
- Hosanna -
Philosophy:
I like to think about life, especially pursuing on the concept of love. Not that lovey dovey romantic kind, but the affections we have for one another
that ties us together,strangers, friends, besties, family, that's the love I wanna know about. Love is the essence of life that ties us together,
love is what we were made for and to be, love is embracing the gift of the relationship with GOD.
Find me at Facebook and Twitter Leave a message on my tagboard or drop me some questions if any.
First day of block leave to chillout! Went baking with the cell. We made random butter cookies and jelly heart cake and marshmallows dipped in nutella! Our cookies turned out worse than we hoped but we still had fun spending time with each other and laughing our heads off. I swear nutella goes well with everything~
All our ingredients!
Snacking on nutella-dipped marshmallows while the rest do the work wahaha!
Jelly hearts in the making
Gabriel's spongebob cookie
Pizza-sized cookie (which no one ate)
Random beef steak we decided to cook
Mouldy looking cookie from too much blue colouring
TUESDAY
Met up with Architects for dinner at night. Kinda love how we're still together as a group since mroe than a year ago. This is the only sole group that disproves my notion towards camp groups being one-off and temporary. It shows that if we chose to, we could make it happen. I'm thankful for everyone in the group, and being accepted for the joking idiot I am there.
WEDNESDAY
Had a superb and meaningful time with cell. Was invited to lead that week. Racked my head the whole day over what I could bring in that week. It wasn't till the around last hour (6pm) that I somehow managed to pull together something, revolving around the accountability and upholding of christian brotherhood. A God-led session, I'd say it was. It's a feeling that's growing ever so familiar. To lead not by my own wisdom but through the grace of God. The things you do, the words you speak, you just know it isn't the typical you doing all this. Had a really great activity once again much to the anticipation and excitement of some members, that which I am extremely grateful and thankfully extolled for. Love to see the cell members enjoying themselves.
Cell playing games~
How well do you know your friends?
Abel sitting in Samuel's boot! One in a lifetime experience!
THURSDAY
Interpreting for a deaf staff from NP at a workshop organized by Rohei. Rohei is a really good organization, I'd like to dream working there. Their workshops, camps and acitivities and thoroughly well planned and aptly designed to invoke and capture specific learning outcomes, something I greatly envision and admire. The people too have a special touch to them, something undeniably attractive, I wonder what's the secret behind them.
Anyway, got to interpret for this deaf staff which I met for the first time. Interesting thing is, he comes from deaf parents. Deaf fmailies develop very differently from that of mixed conditions. He's a really nice guy, outgoing and friendly. And a pity, my reading skills have rusted terribly, especially finger-spelling. Had to "chicken" re-spelt before I could even get anything close. Sighs.
FRIDAY
First half of the day was back at interpreting again. Glad to have the exposure. Rohei offered to pay us, which would have been an insane amount of $120 for that day. I declined feeling terrible to take money for a simple service like this.
At midnight, the cell executed our plan for night cycling. Some of them couldn't join us at the last minute sadly. The rest of us were mostly worn out by the day's activities. Nonetheless we enjoyed ourselves. Our route was from pasir ris to east coast park down my route march, and then through the park connectors on our return. Rode a double bike with Jewel after great persuasion. I love double bikes, I love the increased inertia that propels our bike forward for a longer pace, and that it feels like a rocket, and lastly that there's someone riding together with you. I made Jewel yell and scream a lot with my silly antics, it was quite entertaining. All in all, when the day ended (started to be exact) we all flopped around in macs waiting to return our bikes. And it was a night well spent~Saturday
SATURDAY
Went to TSS followed by meeting up with Tim for our one-to-one chat. Really great having a friend like him to share our deep thoughts with. Sometimes there no other people that can understand the things we share and our chemistry has something special to it. Updated each other on some of our happenings as well as some of the issues we were facing currently. He's really a brother for keeping, I pray to God that I won't lose him, at least for as long as I can.
SUNDAY
Last day of the week. Had my last visit to church before confinement. I love going there. It always brings be back closer to God no matter whhat I've done, where I've been. Refresh myself all over again,together with a new teaching and principle to lay down in my life. Headed out to Bake & Brew with cell for lunch. Spent a lot of money there but the food was definitely good.
The kids that got left behind xD Too lazy to lift our butts.
So yea that's it! It's been an eventful and long week, going to say that it's been time well spent! Glad to have this time and chance to spend with the people around me. Next week, back to army!
Cell planned a farewell lunch for me and zx :D Am gonna miss them surely now that I wont be able to join them.
I remember my first two years in PolyITE1 wasn't all so good for me. Was the only one of my level/age for two years thus feeling disconnected from the rest. Been always dissatisfied at way things been. Was until my last year where I figured, sintead of thinking what this cell was for me, what could I be for the cell instead?
From there, things really took off, I learnt to opened up more, and to care for my fellow cell mates, sometimes hearing them out when they have troubles. And oh haha it makes me really happy inside whenever they get excited when I say there's activities, makes me feel really appreciated and motivated to plan new applicable stuffs to do haha.
Anyway, hope things continue to be better. A part of me regrets not doing more for this cell, but I know things will be well cos God's in control =)
24 And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, 25 not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another —and all the more as you see the Day approaching.
Cell was wonderful today. I'm beginning to enjoy cell more and more than I ever expected. Finally being able to feel like one of everyone. Don't need to act so tough all the time. Be there, share my troubles. As I lay down my own mask, I'm beginning to appreciate everyone and all their unique personalities, how everyone has a joke after them, or a stereotypical trait. Hoorah, I'm the chim one that messes people's mind in this convulted links of logic and philosophy. LOL.
Feeling blessed tonight, to have this group of Christian friends. No holymoly stuff. Just a time of authentic fellowship.
And I wanna say, Dang I missed ya all! :D Really enjoyed cell and everyone's company today~ I think everyone in this cell is super unique and adds to the rojak flavour. The kids, the one's who lived past two-decades, the young-at-heart's, the hunks, the chunks, the cute, the blur, the ones who come in fun sizes, the entertaining drama-mamas, the 'celebrities', the ones you'd occasionally sigh to yourself and wonder why you're even friends, the ones who are given 5minutes to speak, the ones who are given 30 minutes to think what to say, the ones who make you question yourself why 1+1=2, the easygoingcarefrees, the jokers, the jokes, the ones with full attendance, the blue moons, the ones whose names are subjected to endless puns, the ones who like have the hilarious habit of like using the word "like" like excessively; and finally, the ones who are in this cell; Love ya all <3 I feel so blessed ^^ Thank you God for PolyITE1~
I can do all things through Christ. I can move a mountain if You are the strength of my life I can do all things through Christ, when You are the strength of my life.
Whatever trials may come my way, I will worship You always, forever trust in Your unfailing love. When every doubt and fear press in, I still hear Your voice within, forever trust in Your unfailing love.
2011's been a really tough arduous year. Be the strength of my life.
Watched this video at MHI today. I guess what hits home is knowing that despite all the shit we get ourselves too, there's still someone that sees hope in us, loves and accepts us. No, we're aren't hopeless messed up shit. We're just frightened little kids, confused and lost, seeking out the answers to our needs; and it's alright to be. All we have to do is let go of our false securities and let faith work its way in us. And then miracles happen.
Been out for dinner with the new cellies. It's another year and there's a huge batch of new people, all of whom seems really friendly and nice. Looking into a fun and exciting year ahead with them.
This time, I hope to redo things. I wanna make this cell a positive and loving place, where people can be themselves in whatever manner, weak, broken, renewed, hopeful, loveless, loved, most importantly, themselves.
Gonna work extra hard to know the newer batch, and hopefully be able to build some connections with them to understand them, be with them and help them mould.
Roxane's moving on next month, and I guess I really have to up my efforts to maintaining what I want. Hopefully the newer bunch will be easier to work with.
So far, they have seen my boosted side, and I hope they wont be disappointed with the "darker" side of me. But owells, til then. Gonna hold my fort to give them my best. I need to start loving them and making them part of my life.
Dear God,
I pray none of them have to feel lonely. I pray they will find a home as one. I pray they will find acceptance and love. I pray they'll grow and know you more. I pray I can be an impact to them. I pray I can be a support for them. I pray You'll help me have a heart and love them passionately.
I pray, You'll make me a better person for everyone of them. I need Your strength and wisdom.
Wheee, it's gonna be the end of two weeks since the start of break, another two more to exams, I really got to start studying, or maybe mugging, for the third time in my life... =l Gonna ramble on because I have no concrete idea what to write about.
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Been slacking around, reading personality theories with much enthusiasm, I find them super interesting when read in depth. I wish there was more time to study all this, what we learn in class is so minute, so, out of detail sometimes. And lol, I wish I can come up with my own theories but baaah, the way of psychology is way too much for me. I'm keeping more towards my own personal theories towards social dynamics :)
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To the times we feel like burdens.
Well, it’s cos we think we are, which makes us feel like we are, and then treat ourselves like we are, and therefore we get the effects as though we are. But the truth is, to the people that love us, there is no such thing as burdens, and to share this load with you would be their joy and honour to.
I used to think I was one. Now I'm learning not to think I'm one. ^^
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Oh boyz, signed up to be main comm for a church camp for youths. I'm in Programming. I think its a big task and role. I don't think I can do it, but I'm gonna believe I can. I think perhaps, there's more then our rational mind can conceive so why not take the chance, do something that's so undesirably avoidable yet necessary in time. And dang, all those ideas, I has none. Slogging my brains (even though I'm not really thinking it out seriously) just to come up with some good idea. Bah, I'm tired of trying to think up of something but omg, there's only 3 weeks left to the camp. Cmon inspirations, please come to me.
And shucks, I really need a conducive environment to let these thoughts flourish. I need to have like an open active discussion with the team to let the ideas keep flowing, not the go home and think kind. zzz
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I think this camp is helping me grow a lot. Firstly, it's increasing my leadership experience and potential from which I have been escaping from. Hais, being a leader, is like one of the hardest roles, there's so much things to consider, and besides, the journey of a leader is lonely and not easy. Owells. slowly I guess ._. And lols, the camp is about the lies and perceptions we have that limit ourselves or are destructive in both personal and external ways. And they said, since we are the leaders of this camp, we need to set a good example, in faith, conduct, thoughts and life.
And yup. It's time I guess. Stop running away from myself and all these false thoughts about myself and this world. I know the truth yet I allow these lies to take over. It's time to regain lost ground. Difficult and uncomfortable it's gonna be, RAWR I'M GONNA FIGHT YOU. =)
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And, I've observed a common trait in people's behaviour seemingly rooting from the same cause. Kinda interesting. Wished I could do something about it though. Wish I could do more then just be one of them.
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Briefly went through all my previous posts. 255 of them now. Pretty amazing to see how I've been thru the years. All my past experiences, feelings, thoughts, memories, the people, my everything. Opened some of the draft posts that never made it out, I'm kinda amazed how I used to write last time. I think it's got a pretty nice touch to it. Haha, I got so excited while reading through all the posts, especially those with a cryptic and imaginary touch to it. Sheesh, I hope I can get that back =D
Today was Good Friday/Easter service. Love watching the skit, remembering my first time with it when in Thailand on a mission trip. Really meaningful drama and beautiful song to accompany it as well.
Had to leave just before the altar call cos I had to go for a family dinner. And I stayed on as long as i could, because I still wanna watch everything, but still had to leave before the most anticipated part of the service. Had to go cos my mom said we would be rushed if I ended late.
Much to my displeasure, I had a slight rant at my mom about causing me to miss the segment which I really want to observe and be a part of. Watching the new believers and backslided peeps coming back to Him.Dishonourable conduct aside, I think there's something we can all learn ba.
First would be that we as humans, do not, and should not, give God a timing. By this I mean it isn't our right to plan our schedules and then fit God in wheresoever we feel we want Him to be. Such a principle should apply to life, and the very least so, anything to do with God; like services, prayer meetings and stuff. If it has reached the designated time for the service to end, but yet spirit of God is still moving, then let it be. Suggest to those who want to leave first to do so, but don't take control of the movement and power. God should never ever be confined by time, or more so, our time, for He is an infinite God with a perfect plan. And it is so that in His time, all things are made perfect.
The underside of a tapestry cloth appears ugly and messy while the tailor is sewing it, but when the last strand is threaded, he flips the cloth and tadaa, it's a wonderful masterpiece. A work of fine art and beauty. But it is during the process, that we cannot understand what the creator is working at, but that doesn't mean nothing right is going on, but that he is at work at his already thought our plan on how to do things. So yea, we too need to let God do His work freely, and by freely, it means without restrictions.
Second point. It struck me when my mom apologize about indirectly causing me to miss the altar call and that she thought it was nothing much extra ordinary and ok to miss. I state this as an example and not as a judgment. This is an example of how we Christian take God's for granted sometimes. All the other blessings He provide for us, is it simply something we brush off off? Here we are talking about saved souls, that the lost come to the light and to know their Saviour. It is not soemthing to be treated lightly, just as God the Shepherd rejoices greatly over one lost sheep, so does all heavens rejoice triumphantly over a lost soul found, and we too are to take pride in that as well.
Third, it is important not to forget that we were once lost too, and not that we, now in the light, rejoice and forget about the rest. It is also yet our duty to bring the rest of our friends, families and the lost together to be able to share this joy with us. Our faith may be four our owning, but yet it is also for sharing, not for keeping. We have to take charge the responsibility of the lives of others as much as our owns.
Yups, random thoughts on a Good Friday evening. Ciaos.
Today's sermon was amazing. The topic was on Faith and Works and to sum it up, it basically talks about the way we live our life as Christians. Does our work, our life and our actions exemplify what we believe in?
Taken from James 2:14-26
Genuine faith is not just a matter of what you say, feel, think and believe.Prove it!Faith is not just about talking, and as the saying goes, "talk is cheap". Does your life show what you say? As Christians, we should not need to tell others we are a Christian, but it ought to be known through our lives and action. Faith as well is more than emotions. We can be emotionally moved but yet nothing gets done. "Oh, my brother here is feeling low, I feel sorry for him" but what's important is, does anything get done? Do you go to him and give your support? If we only desire, and believe that we should be good and yet we still live ordinary self-centered lives, then we ought to be called hypocrites. The love that we speak of, do we show it? Do we set out to love the unlovables, or just love only our friends and the people that we like, are we no different than the common folk? Yet so many of us are only filled with head knowledge, but only little comes from the heart. Stated clearly right and wrong, we continue to indulge ourselves in earthly pleasures. True faith leads to commitment, submission and obedience. And lastly, faith is not determined by how much we do, but by what is demonstrated.
It pains my heart to know and see myself and fellow Christians professing their faith, yet our actions speak otherwise. Oh how our lives instead of bringing glory, has brought shame and sneers to Christianity. Where has the love gone to? Should we not put aside ourselves and stop being complacent and really start living as what we have faith in. To love others just as Christ has love us?
Yet another point is that daunted upon me a week ago was about bringing God into our daily lives.
Is it merely that we appear holy in a setting that calls for it? In church, in Christian gatherings? Do we only think good thoughts, say positive words, carry an optimistic attitude in selective places? And then after everything is over, we return to our 'normal' lives? Lives where we speak profanities make crude jokes, gossip behind people's backs and all other vices? Why is this so? Should not our lives be one? The one that God has set us apart for? Does this not scare you? that we as Christians live double lives, and yet we brazenly acknowledge it without shame and remorse. Repentance only comes to mind on Sundays, as though they were reminders as a "holy day". Do our behaviours speak worthy of our representation of Christ-likeness? Do your actions bring glory to the name of the Lord? or worse, do we as ambassadors of Christ bring shame unto what we are called for. Repent now and change your ways, that we will be written as in 1 Timothy 4:12 that we be an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity. Be the light to this world as your Saviour has commanded, and let not Satan taint you and poison your minds. "Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and praise your Father in heaven". Live a life that when the world looks at you, they will be amazed and be drawn in to the beacon, that they too might receive the hope and unfailing love that you draw upon. Wont you, dear brothers and sisters live your life in glorification to God. Just as how we were redeemed by the Blood of the Lamb, that we do not leave our lives to foolishness, but in all gratefulness and reverence, honour God in our lives.
On a lighter note, here's some smiles.
Random Smiles:
haaaa, Went to Fish & Co. Express for lunch and order fish and chips. And the (reallyreallyreallyreallyreally) weird thing is that, they dun serve knives? O.o It seems their trying to cut cost or something with all their plastic wares. But hey, they give spoons and forks, but the food they serve 1) requires no spoon - they don't serve rice, coleslaw or potato [except soup] and 2) they miss out the most needed cutlery, a knife.
Oh oh and why do we need a knife?
TO CUT THE CRISPY FRIED FISH THANK YOU VERY MUCH. and yea, to kinda of cut our fish into chunks so that we can dip our nicely cut fish bits into the tartar sauce that you stingy-ly give us. Like erms do they expect us to poke our forks and lift the whole piece of fish to bite from it? Do they expect everyone to eat in a fairly uncivilized manner...?
as expected of me - problem solved!
I seriously wonder what's going on in the manager's head o.O
Ahhh omg I've been asked to share some testimony for church camp on the thanksgiving service of like 500+ youths and their parents. OMG haha, to keep it short, I'm arent one who bears to reject ppl eaisly and my heart say go yes, but to stand there in front of so many ppl. I think I'll crumble under the intense pressure, or be like really traumatised after it. but yups, after great consideration I think I'ma go .__.
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and awesome. I just screwed myself again. Him, you, me. wootz. I'm quite much a failure to this whole thing. And he's rebuking me in everything I say and do. Not to mention the present overshadowing. anyways. I'm sorry. I'm dam sorry to all those out there I just never fail to screw things up.
"Scars"
Go figure. I'm all set to close up and leave already. Im not the type to take this kind of pain. Goodbye world.
Church camp was awesome right down to the last day. The camp had 500 people all from Megalife - Sec sch to JC, and Highlife - Poly to Uni.
At first it was tough bonding with all the younger kids and my group only had 3 that were around my age or older but in the end I got to bond with everyone of them =)
The older ones are well... think more and the younger ones are just fun and sweet, oh and cute. very. And they were like 14 years old? O_o oh and yea cute cause one of them is like super gullible and thought igloos were made naturally.
Bus ride was fun in some sorts. Played Taiti(?), Bridge, Murderer, Indian Poker and had a really good time bonding through it. And all those cheers aha.
Superman is a man of steel; Human Torch will burn for you; Teen Titans are young and bright; Green Lantern will shine his light; Captain Planet will save the earth; Ironman will show his worth; We are Heroes of the Sky; Now its time for us to fly; To infinity and beyond!
The tune goes by those army cheers not sure how to say and HEH, we had to do that cheer with one arm stretched high up like flying WHILE balancing on one leg, the other lifted up to make a "h" LOL
Camp only had one day of fun, three of which were left to workshops and sermons, some of which I was touched, some of which were insightful, meaningful and of course, some that I just fell asleep in. Let's see, I forgot quite a bit of it but mainly about championing for God, rethinking values, conquering fears, exploring leadership, gender specific, having faith, haha ah owells, many many more good and interesting and applicable and powerful stuffs =)
Yup, and the one and only games day. Had a simple game requiring us to tie a balloon on our legs and then running across an indoor stadium to our safe areas and well just seeing who can collect the most balloons and let me tell you, there is like a few hundreds of teens running about its insane I tell you. And then we will split up into different categories. Floorball with brooms, and watching some of them play with a feather duster cos thier brooms got confiscated for playing rouhgly. Soccer while having to be on all fours, stomachs up like a inverted crab. Tough.
AND for my game was captain's ball with omg, way crazier stuff than ever before. We had whole bunch of bananas, 2 balls of cabbage, 2 papayas, one which I totally witness a scene of someone just throwing a papaya reaaaally high and for it to land with no one catching and it just went, well SPLAT literally... Oh and the best? a RAW CHICKEN. you could watch the limbs and body spread out while rotating in the air in slow mo and then PIAK onto the floor. Playing it was quite hard having the floor quite lubricated with papaya mush and banana slush and plenty of leaves of cabbages to ride on the oily chickenated-floors. Good stuff indeed. And and before I forget,
Point system: Any kind of fruits including papayas that totally mimick bombs, boomerang shaped bananas, heavy shedding ball of cabbage, Chicken wings or thighs, chicken parts, Whole chicken, 1 POINT Chicken head 10 POINTS
Worship was a wonderful experience and time, with our hearts yearning for God. Haaa, quite a few songs I never hear before but yup still was gooood. Lifted my hand higher than ever, though I never once did jump like the Megalifers but yeaaaps, wanted to, but just wasn't my thing. Oh and some awesome lines
Heal my heart and make it clean; open up my eyes to the things unseen; show me how to love like You have love me; break my heart for what breaks Yours; everything I am for Your kingdom's cause; as I walk from earth into eternity.
And yups, felt a calling to lead a new life, one for God, with the heart for others. NEEEEW LIFE, and to really just drop the past and everything that has held me back. Get into a ongoing relationship with God. Yups, time for revival in me =) And boy oh boy, I think i might go into leadership training. I think its time I picked up what's necessary for me and press on. On a sidenote I do quite miss my Megalifer mates =l they were a fun bunch but heh, dun think I'll ever see them again, or at least once in a year? Haha owells but such is life isn't it. time to move on!
Because most of the essence of the meanings are captured in those words, and that the best of it comes just at that instant, I kinda posted most of the copied transcript.
My friend told me: *i felt tt u changed more than when u said u wanted to regress
I think I quite agree with that: *ha *dam *i think so too *how u feel anyway *u also no see me *dam i hope i not going down wrong path *oh and *then i thot *why stay the same *wat do we get out of life *when life is a ever moving thing, and for us to stay on one spot *I decided to move *for better or for worse *its gonna be a learning experience at least *its for ppl like me that im thinking like this *this new change is sparked off when my fren told me no one's gonna wait for me, that's the world too fast-paced *and of cos haha, from my church sermon on sunday =P *to hav the heart for ppl
And then she said: *i hope u will like the new u
My answer to all you out there: *heh i hope *sometimes i also dunno ba *im in a way suddenly drawn in to the thot that if ppl dun accept you *then suan le ba *im good living alone anyway *and besides *if the world doesnt hav time for those who needs it *I wanna make time for those who need it *if the world doesnt hav time to care *i wanna make time to care *if the world doesnt have time to listen *I wanna be that listening ear *tho of cos i kinda need to learn how to do all of that *but its kinda all from, since no one has time for the 'needy' and ppl like me. *Why wallow in the mud waiting incessantly for something that might not come. *Why not be that something, be that someone. *go out there and touch one life at a time. *stop living so that people will like me *and start living to like people
Ha, today was a beautiful work of God. Last nite I had been up late listening to all the Don Moen songs I used to hear as a kid. Totally brought back many many fond memories. But, ya a particular song stood out; Rescue. I love music by Don Moen. =) Its usually quite soothing.
Haha, and today during church worship, we sang it too. O_O and cos normally they dun usually play such songs but yea, its yet again another wonderful lyrics composed by great worshippers of God.
The chorus particularly spoke to me the most.
cause I need you Jesus; to come to my rescue; where else can I go; there's no other name; by which I am saved; captured me with grace; I will follow you.
We are all in need of God's saving grace to help us, save us, rescue us, for there is none other we can turn to.
Its the second week of holidays. ARGH I HAVENT DONE MY ASSIGNMENTS. Time to buck up =,= And haha, the 2nd week is so gonna be fun. Going out with friends almost everyday =)
Went for some Rotaract event on some treasure hunt for kids. Haha, they mentioned primary school and lower sec kids, but in the end we were only supposed to take care of cute little 7 year olds.
And like the ratio was 2:1 youths to kids. Haha, kinda too much, but oh wells. Took the initative to engage a cute boy by the name of Swee Hao. A lovely little guy who enjoyed drawing.
Then there's this other girl who so felt like stepping on my armourless feet with ther muddy shoes. Step, stomp, twist. Till my leg was horribly red. haha XD Most scary still was when i move my legs around so she cudnt step on them. Guess what she said to my friends. "Aha, that kor kor coward, he is a loser." Uh hur... absolutely no comments...
But haha its alright, all for the fun of it =)
Hmm, it seems my time has come to take up my assigned role, to be a leader. God has appointed me to be mentored, to be crafted and moulded to become the tool needed for His purpose. And with faith, I shall take on the challenge. The journey there might be tough, but You will always be there for me. =)
Psalm 5:11-12 But let all those rejoice who put their trust in You; Let them ever shout for joy, because You defend them; Let those also who love Your name Be joyful in You. For You, O LORD, will bless the righteous; With favor You will surround him as with a shield.
Darren Nico Pillai