The boy knocking at the door of my heart


I just found out that I,
have changed for the worse.
And I thought I was doing it right.
For something great, I lost something good.

I fear their rejection,
Open up, others told me.
I did, and they walked away.
Or maybe. I walked away.

Maybe in my life, I'm not destined to have it.
Maybe those 2 weeks, were just a passing cloud,
a shooting star, fulfilling my deepest desires,
and that it was just a dream.

Its time I stop living in that dream.
People are leaving.
Others are coming.
Who should I hold on to?

But I hanker after that dream,
cause I dont want to believe its over.
because I really want that feel.
But its reality and there ain't such a thing.

It was something I searched for throughout my life
and then discarded, thinking it would never meant to be
Til I found them,
I believed again.

I was revived.
the boy within me
and people accepted me
they loved me

Holding on to this dream,
I searched on, in my home,
for someone to pat my head,
for someone to love me more.

Nico I became,
to signify being me
to tell the world, I believed
that I put aside my perceptions, and believed

Believed that I would be accepted
The one inside me.
But even revealing that little bit
frowns, their smiles became.

My friend told me,
"Darren belongs to us,
Nico belongs to them"
I don't really have a choice, do I?

I opened up to you,
thinking is was the right thing to do
that you will give me the same.
turns out, dreams will always be dreams.

Today. I know, and I realized.
After this day,
the doors of my heart shall be closed.
I'll try my best to be who I am again.

I guess, being me,
can be disgusting.
I'll be who you want me to be
Just dont go.

Because between a world I want and enjoy
and the family I have,
though not as good as that out there
I'm choosing you.

So I'm gonna tell Nico to go
even though I wished him to stay
back to the dark pits of my heart
never to be seen again.

Goodbyes to you,
for it was nice seeing you,
after so many years
I got to held your hand again.

And with a pierced heart,
I turned my head away.
Tears falling as I ran,
back to my home where I began.

Goodbyes...

Labels: class, EMO, frenz, Me, memories, sacrifice, thoughts, YEP

The boy knocking at the door of my heart


I just found out that I,
have changed for the worse.
And I thought I was doing it right.
For something great, I lost something good.

I fear their rejection,
Open up, others told me.
I did, and they walked away.
Or maybe. I walked away.

Maybe in my life, I'm not destined to have it.
Maybe those 2 weeks, were just a passing cloud,
a shooting star, fulfilling my deepest desires,
and that it was just a dream.

Its time I stop living in that dream.
People are leaving.
Others are coming.
Who should I hold on to?

But I hanker after that dream,
cause I dont want to believe its over.
because I really want that feel.
But its reality and there ain't such a thing.

It was something I searched for throughout my life
and then discarded, thinking it would never meant to be
Til I found them,
I believed again.

I was revived.
the boy within me
and people accepted me
they loved me

Holding on to this dream,
I searched on, in my home,
for someone to pat my head,
for someone to love me more.

Nico I became,
to signify being me
to tell the world, I believed
that I put aside my perceptions, and believed

Believed that I would be accepted
The one inside me.
But even revealing that little bit
frowns, their smiles became.

My friend told me,
"Darren belongs to us,
Nico belongs to them"
I don't really have a choice, do I?

I opened up to you,
thinking is was the right thing to do
that you will give me the same.
turns out, dreams will always be dreams.

Today. I know, and I realized.
After this day,
the doors of my heart shall be closed.
I'll try my best to be who I am again.

I guess, being me,
can be disgusting.
I'll be who you want me to be
Just dont go.

Because between a world I want and enjoy
and the family I have,
though not as good as that out there
I'm choosing you.

So I'm gonna tell Nico to go
even though I wished him to stay
back to the dark pits of my heart
never to be seen again.

Goodbyes to you,
for it was nice seeing you,
after so many years
I got to held your hand again.

And with a pierced heart,
I turned my head away.
Tears falling as I ran,
back to my home where I began.

Goodbyes...

Labels: class, EMO, frenz, Me, memories, sacrifice, thoughts, YEP