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A Mark In History
Saturday, December 11, 2010

So much as happened today, I can never fill it up with simple words.

Today, at an interesting date, 12/11/10, leaves a mark in my history.

Calls for my third time, for me to bare open the insides of my heart, tugging at every heartstrings. Bringing the truth from inside me, allowing that inner voice to speak. Was harder than ever, requiring an effort stronger than ever before. And with it, leaves it mark on my life, forever.

I'm glad I got you out today. Glad we managed to talk so much. Glad that I can experience so much, and mostly, glad that things have once brought me to that place of wanting to pursue life once again with increased zeal.

Kinda failed badly taking almost an hour just to mouth those simple words, but I finally did, and with it a whole chapter of my life story dedicated to you. Everything; hope, dread, rest, friendship, love, affections, fears, needs.

Never will ever imagine myself saying it, in my thoughts of me coming across this issue. And now you're my first. Z.o.m.g. Yeap. Though I don't want anything out of it, but just that it was with the flow anyway. Wanna keep things objective, and within my path for righteousness, and doing what's right, I shall fight harder against the very shadow self of my selfishness. Hope you'll keep accountable for me as well. My gratitude for allowing the grasp of your hand and the comfort of your presence by my side. It's a heartfelt dream.

I discovered a lot more through the discussion as well, something I've always enjoyed. If only time would stand still for me to reap all the treasures. I learnt more about myself, and the dynamics working within, and hope I will be able to put it to good use, with the constant refinement of myself. Instead of waiting for someone to help, why not be the help to others. After all, everyone's waiting for someone.

And for all my hopes to you, that you'll live on. Not solely because it appears objectively wrong, but to have that essence of life, the very act of living it, in your hands. I pray I'll never have to bear the burden of that message and it's irrevocable meaning. The only thing I'd ever wish for you, is to be able to stand up at life, living victoriously. And I pray you'll find your miracle, your friends, your life.

With regards, I honestly admit that this would increase my awareness and consciousness of effort, undeniably making it harder. But I do all this, not being the best, but promising my best, without as much expectations and full acceptance, whatever the trials and hardship, whatever the pain and exhaustion, I do it out of my love for you and for no other reason. Hope I can be a better person, for God, for you, and for all the other people out there.

"I spent too much time thinking what was taken from me, I forgot what was given to me"

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