It's been a long two weeks, and certainly everyday of it was utmost fun.
We painted we sweated we got dirty we endured
we complained we chatted we laughed we smiled
we helped we taught we learnt we befriended
we ate we played we danced we had fun
But aside from the lessons on happiness and quick thinking, I actually experienced something rather impactful in my life, which I can say, as changed the way I feel and think about myself.
Surely, the people in the YEP team has seen a side of me, no one, not even me, have seen since a decade.
For once, a moment in my life, I was who I am. Or that other side of me many people tend to despise. Not here, not now.
Finally, away from the world's expectation of needing to be matured, I finally put aside my facades and lived the kid within me. Just laughing forever, jumping, being ever excited about everything. I was a kid.
They accepted me, enjoyed me, liked me, and invited me. It feels good to be 'me', it really does.
With this, maybe it isnt that bad to open up. I became more confident about myself. Who knows, one day, I might just be free from the prison I created.
Haha, I’m in Vietnam noow and I’m having sooo much fun with the kids!
Thanks for being such a good friend and haha I am blessed to have friends like you, as well as the other jealous classmates seeing this (Yaaa I love T01 too okay?)
Haha, this post is dedicated to my wondeful frens! (Doesnt mean you're not here means you aren't my friend. Just the more special ones =D) I'm wrote this last minute before the day of leaving because my dear friends were all saying their goodbyes, making me all emo-ish about leaving them, for a somewhat long period of 2 weeks.
Okiiie so I decided to do this post for my special frens since I'm such a nice guy.
Dun you think so? Hardly.
I've made a bunch of great friends! All special in their own unique ways!
Yvette, Victoria, Me, Zi Kang
Yvette a.k.a puppy
high quality video sei
HAHA YAY, thanks for chatting with me almost every nite if not all. and for bearing all my crap and nonsense. "L..."
and you are always carrying a smile on your face, you even smile when you frown. So easily laughable with your "-.- Haha" at my lame jokes.
and thanks for being such a cheerful person, haha you'll brighten up anyone's day =D
Oh oh and and, haha its with you that I can fully show the childish side of me and where I really really have a lot of fun! haha "tsb" xD omg... I just thought of your teasing... "kb" and "ui i" LOL
Victoria a.k.a pony
Pretty rite?
Haha! the most emotional one. HAHAHA I meant most easily sadded, cheered up, aww-ed and many many others, and very very very nice too :D
Ha, quite a pushy friend ._. no lah, pushy as in supports people, the kind that makes you do things you dun wanna do (good things of cos)
Oh, and you have the biggest smile, :D ttm.
Reminds me. oh maaan, I can just hear your squealing, "DAARREEEEEN" just because I dun wan to do what you ask me to do ._. BUT HAHA that's what makes you so nice!
Zi Kang a.k.a sheep
Can you see "Fail" written all over?
=) This guy's my spiritual bro! Keeps egging me on when I'm falling and whoo haha keeps me going too =)
Super thoughtful and selfless guy, very very easy going too. Lovable cuddly sheep that everyone loves.
And whoooo, clown of the class, epic self-own joker with lotsa hilarious jokes and antics together with the classic quotes "Fail" and "What the" and "Oh my tian"
You're super on fire for God man. Dude, you're such an inspiration to me :) Keep burning on bro! Spread that flame. ;)
Timothy a.k.a evil twin bro
Y-O
"YO" timz! haha, omg dude, you're like the most similar person to me than anyone else. Its like I found some twin of my kind, just eviler xD.
All those psycho talk and analysis of things were great, and sharing all those insights to life xD
And when I say anything, you can totally understand me inside out. Save me all the tedious explanations as well as having someone understand the deeper more mysterious side of me. =)
And you crazy poop, you never fail to crack all my enigmatic codes. ONE DAY DUDE, I'll make one so hard you're never figure out!
Few weeks back during the study break and my frequent trips to changi airport, I saw this 'nuts' guy at the station. He was screaming 'DIIIEEEEE" at random people.
As a psychology student, such behaviour of course fascinated me. I wanted to stay and observer him, but we were going different ways. Hoped to see him again.
And I did...
While on the train the school, the same guy boarded at Tanah Merah. I recognized him again from his distinctive cry, "DIEEEE!"
Haha
But since I stood opposite him, I had the chance to observe him, while from a safe and comfortable distance. You could just see everyone shunning him. Haha, there was this one lady who went in front of him and he did his usual "DIE!" and she got a fright. Loooolz
K back to my observations...
He was talking CONSTANTLY mumbling stuff from englishto some indistinguishable babble. But he was just muttering, he was talking to someone, or something.
His left fingers kept fidgeting...
He had this audio tape or something, and he was incessantly taking it out of his pouch every now and then.
Despite his insane-ish behaviour, he looked particularly ok. He knew where he was, he had combed hair.
Heh, sometimes, 'crazy' behaviour does interest me. Lol, owells. Just a random post :/
OFF TO VIETNAM
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
NOOOOO I'm so not ready for Vietnam trip! Doesn't feel like I'm leaving for it. 5am up in the morning oh boyzzz Plz plz plz dun forget anything :/
AND DUN WORRY, MY BLOG WILL STILL CONTINUED TO BE UPDATED KAYZ?? JUS SOME RANDOM POSTS I SCHEDULED.
saying bye to all my friends is the toughest part. So far meeting all this new bunch of people in this new life of mine has been most enjoyable, especially with some special friends ;)
I'll miss all of you dearly *sniff* haha sounds like I'm going off forever like that but =) I love you all to bits ^^
Im so not mentally prepared for this massive project yet. Oh boy... And all the packing, geesh.
I wanna go for my camps first =(
To Vic: haha, they went down in under a minute... .__. oh and they were yummy, the 2nd one! actually all luh :D
The silence
Thursday, September 10, 2009
I walked today. I just kept walking, aimlessly. My thoughts taking no form, just a wavering lost feeling.
I walked past a private estate and saw no one. Maybe they're all working? Everything seemed so lifeless.
Random smiles Darren's 3 step way to boil eggs.
1. Pour lotsa water. 2. Throw eggs in. 3. On fire.
Wats wrong?
Proper way to boil eggs.
1. pour lotsa water 2. on fire. 3. wait til water boils. 4. put eggs in boiling water.
Duh... i forgot... now my eggs are sitting in a sauna. Neither the water nor the eggs are hot and I dun know wat to expect of my eggs when I crack them...
Woke up in the morning, which is your 12pm. Dragged my lazy body to the kitchen and wooaaah, I see ants everywhere. In the bowl of forgotten leftovers, the cupboards, the rubbish chute, even in the toilet which I dunno why.
I sat there for about 20mins, jus watching the ants do their thing. Carrying some fried shrimpy looking thing over the edge of my kitchen... watcha call that? table? And when they finally got it up to the top. HAH, they cudnt fit the food thru the crevice.
At this point I feel like shouting "losers" but since they're so hardworking unlike me, I'll keep quiet on this.
And there's this group of ants with bigger jaws trying to bite off smaller chunks of... of... BROCCOLI!Rmb the broccoli from the previous posts?!? :D
After the lengthy 20 minutes I reverted to my sadistic ways and did wat most kids would do in a field with a magnifying glass in hand. Buuurn them ants!I don't have a manigfying glass, but what I have is a boiler. Ants meet boiling water, ants stop moving. Nice. Especially when I poured the hot water over the broccoli. ooo, watch them sizzle or eh... boil.
Oh and lastly. the leftovers attracted some bird which gladly made itself at home by pooping all over the place after snacking.
Oh, ooone more thing. The ants were trying to get those too... Not the food, the bird's poop.
Random smiles Ijust found out the reason to why all my pants felt much looser I've been missing breakfast and lunch everyday...
ZOMG a friend linked this to me, its darn amazing man. at least watch the 2nd vid ya?
Nov 2007 Prisoners at Cebu are considered the most dangerous offenders in the Philippines. But thanks to four hours of dance lessons a day, their behaviour has been transformed. Previously, Cebu prison was a wretched place ruled by rival gangs. But when the warden introduced dance lessons, everything changed. "Everyone became friends". Now the prisoners spend most of the day practising new routines. Videos of them dancing to 80s classics have become a big hit on YouTube. FROM YOUTUBE
on a sidenote: wow, i find that this is so meaningful. Look at how they all dance with enthusiasm and for their friends and families. I think its so meaningful and it gives the prisoners a sense of self esteem.
Jaiho
Sorry Sorry (this is my favourite, the moves are so slick :D)
clap your hands to the music..
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
heh, yet another boring day with fairly interesting happenings.
Learnt 3 different sets of dance for YEP trip; indian dance, mass dance and... sports dance - from Hi5 ...
Woke up early to an invitation for badminton. Ran out of stamina in 5 minutes. Getting old and rusty.
Burnt my tongue while eating lunch. Made the 100plus taste all sour-ish.
Day 2 of internet failure :/
Ate a lonely meal; 3 egg pratas at a rip off price
Owells, such is another day of my holidays :/
I'll stand up with you forever~ ♥
Happy Birthday, My Friend
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Class gathering at Irwin's Study was a blast!!!! Although "Class" there only meant one-third of class that came.
Minus of those who were working and those who couldn't make it at the last minute, only 7 ppl turned up. Quite far from the estimated half of the class who could make it on the original date.
Buuuut none the less, we had a loooot of fun. Those who didn't turn up will be envious. Believe me.
Haha, despite turning 30 recently, Irwin has more like a friend of our age. Especially when playing games
Kay, shall be using pictures instead...
Ordered 4 pizzas plus side orders
Playing Taboo
Squeaaak
Playing Indian Poker. Guess who's gonna lose?
Me. Card dealing fail. Twice.
Heart Attack
ARHHHHH~
OH-YAR-PAY-YAR-SOM
And finally, a video specially dedicated to Irwin :) (Darnz... embeding the vid here screws the blog.)
Feeling all screwed. Need new shoes. Need haircut.
But, I've realized. Maybe it's not that I'm lazy. Maybe it's just that I fear that loneliness. The loneliness I might feel when I'm out alone, and just a simple walk across. And the computer works like a great suppressant. But like all drugs, constant use over time lowers its effect. I guess time is catching up with me now.
Knowing this, what's next. Family? I doubt. Friends? I'm not so sure either. People have their own lives too. So thus, this inanimate technology has sat by me more than anyone else has ever did, numbing my need and desire for socialization, crippling my knowing of it. Adding to my extraction from common life, I resided in a corner in recluse, my world filled with darkness and empty walls.
And as I'm thrust back into society again, I find myself lost. I see new faces. I see new lives. I see the world that I've left behind still moving on, letting me know my absence was minute. Isolation has stolen the part of me that enables me to relate to another.
Left an struggling idiot of society, I quickly picked up cues from the people around me. A smile, a greeting, or a certain words. I also found that a quick laugh fixes many things, or, can be used to hiding. It didn't seemed too hard, but I came to realize that gestures can hold many meanings. So many that I became confused.
I've met many, compared to the usual ten. Some are weak, some are strong, so strong they frighten me. Others say they care, but how much they really do, I don't know. Or am I expecting too much?
Homeless, I seek shelter under the roof of others. I might have grown accustomed to the cold winds and harsh rain, but the feeling of a warm house, where comfort and filling follow, I couldn't bear to resist?
I knocked on several doors, asking if I could be let in. Most doors never opened. A couple invited me in, though I left quickly before I became a nuisance. However I've knocked the door of a particularly kind stranger. A lady who was open and welcoming.
We chatted often. For once, I felt a home. But my cautiousness kept me from entering her doorstep. The door was left opened anyway. During storms, I would sit in her house, but I stayed near the door, with an increased awareness. It was my longest place of residence.
Would this be my first friend? What if it was all my delusion? I wondered if I would ever be able to savour that feeling of friendship, or just a relationship with another being. That feeling felt so foreign to me.
Not-so-average teen, deep thinker, perfectionist with quirky randomness. Trained in the art of sarcasm and nonsensical logic.
Overcoming the circumstances of the present, and the issues of my past,
striving in self-betterment with a moral balance with the hope of the fulfillment of the destiny to be a light for Christ in His likeness,
spreading the love of God as how He first loved us
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like You have loved me
Break my heart for what breaks Yours
Everything I am, for Your kingdom's cause
As I walk from earth into eternity ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
- Hosanna -
Philosophy:
I like to think about life, especially pursuing on the concept of love. Not that lovey dovey romantic kind, but the affections we have for one another
that ties us together,strangers, friends, besties, family, that's the love I wanna know about. Love is the essence of life that ties us together,
love is what we were made for and to be, love is embracing the gift of the relationship with GOD.
Find me at Facebook and Twitter Leave a message on my tagboard or drop me some questions if any.
It's been a long two weeks, and certainly everyday of it was utmost fun.
We painted we sweated we got dirty we endured
we complained we chatted we laughed we smiled
we helped we taught we learnt we befriended
we ate we played we danced we had fun
But aside from the lessons on happiness and quick thinking, I actually experienced something rather impactful in my life, which I can say, as changed the way I feel and think about myself.
Surely, the people in the YEP team has seen a side of me, no one, not even me, have seen since a decade.
For once, a moment in my life, I was who I am. Or that other side of me many people tend to despise. Not here, not now.
Finally, away from the world's expectation of needing to be matured, I finally put aside my facades and lived the kid within me. Just laughing forever, jumping, being ever excited about everything. I was a kid.
They accepted me, enjoyed me, liked me, and invited me. It feels good to be 'me', it really does.
With this, maybe it isnt that bad to open up. I became more confident about myself. Who knows, one day, I might just be free from the prison I created.
Haha, I’m in Vietnam noow and I’m having sooo much fun with the kids!
Thanks for being such a good friend and haha I am blessed to have friends like you, as well as the other jealous classmates seeing this (Yaaa I love T01 too okay?)
Haha, this post is dedicated to my wondeful frens! (Doesnt mean you're not here means you aren't my friend. Just the more special ones =D) I'm wrote this last minute before the day of leaving because my dear friends were all saying their goodbyes, making me all emo-ish about leaving them, for a somewhat long period of 2 weeks.
Okiiie so I decided to do this post for my special frens since I'm such a nice guy.
Dun you think so? Hardly.
I've made a bunch of great friends! All special in their own unique ways!
Yvette, Victoria, Me, Zi Kang
Yvette a.k.a puppy
high quality video sei
HAHA YAY, thanks for chatting with me almost every nite if not all. and for bearing all my crap and nonsense. "L..."
and you are always carrying a smile on your face, you even smile when you frown. So easily laughable with your "-.- Haha" at my lame jokes.
and thanks for being such a cheerful person, haha you'll brighten up anyone's day =D
Oh oh and and, haha its with you that I can fully show the childish side of me and where I really really have a lot of fun! haha "tsb" xD omg... I just thought of your teasing... "kb" and "ui i" LOL
Victoria a.k.a pony
Pretty rite?
Haha! the most emotional one. HAHAHA I meant most easily sadded, cheered up, aww-ed and many many others, and very very very nice too :D
Ha, quite a pushy friend ._. no lah, pushy as in supports people, the kind that makes you do things you dun wanna do (good things of cos)
Oh, and you have the biggest smile, :D ttm.
Reminds me. oh maaan, I can just hear your squealing, "DAARREEEEEN" just because I dun wan to do what you ask me to do ._. BUT HAHA that's what makes you so nice!
Zi Kang a.k.a sheep
Can you see "Fail" written all over?
=) This guy's my spiritual bro! Keeps egging me on when I'm falling and whoo haha keeps me going too =)
Super thoughtful and selfless guy, very very easy going too. Lovable cuddly sheep that everyone loves.
And whoooo, clown of the class, epic self-own joker with lotsa hilarious jokes and antics together with the classic quotes "Fail" and "What the" and "Oh my tian"
You're super on fire for God man. Dude, you're such an inspiration to me :) Keep burning on bro! Spread that flame. ;)
Timothy a.k.a evil twin bro
Y-O
"YO" timz! haha, omg dude, you're like the most similar person to me than anyone else. Its like I found some twin of my kind, just eviler xD.
All those psycho talk and analysis of things were great, and sharing all those insights to life xD
And when I say anything, you can totally understand me inside out. Save me all the tedious explanations as well as having someone understand the deeper more mysterious side of me. =)
And you crazy poop, you never fail to crack all my enigmatic codes. ONE DAY DUDE, I'll make one so hard you're never figure out!
Few weeks back during the study break and my frequent trips to changi airport, I saw this 'nuts' guy at the station. He was screaming 'DIIIEEEEE" at random people.
As a psychology student, such behaviour of course fascinated me. I wanted to stay and observer him, but we were going different ways. Hoped to see him again.
And I did...
While on the train the school, the same guy boarded at Tanah Merah. I recognized him again from his distinctive cry, "DIEEEE!"
Haha
But since I stood opposite him, I had the chance to observe him, while from a safe and comfortable distance. You could just see everyone shunning him. Haha, there was this one lady who went in front of him and he did his usual "DIE!" and she got a fright. Loooolz
K back to my observations...
He was talking CONSTANTLY mumbling stuff from englishto some indistinguishable babble. But he was just muttering, he was talking to someone, or something.
His left fingers kept fidgeting...
He had this audio tape or something, and he was incessantly taking it out of his pouch every now and then.
Despite his insane-ish behaviour, he looked particularly ok. He knew where he was, he had combed hair.
Heh, sometimes, 'crazy' behaviour does interest me. Lol, owells. Just a random post :/
OFF TO VIETNAM
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
NOOOOO I'm so not ready for Vietnam trip! Doesn't feel like I'm leaving for it. 5am up in the morning oh boyzzz Plz plz plz dun forget anything :/
AND DUN WORRY, MY BLOG WILL STILL CONTINUED TO BE UPDATED KAYZ?? JUS SOME RANDOM POSTS I SCHEDULED.
saying bye to all my friends is the toughest part. So far meeting all this new bunch of people in this new life of mine has been most enjoyable, especially with some special friends ;)
I'll miss all of you dearly *sniff* haha sounds like I'm going off forever like that but =) I love you all to bits ^^
Im so not mentally prepared for this massive project yet. Oh boy... And all the packing, geesh.
I wanna go for my camps first =(
To Vic: haha, they went down in under a minute... .__. oh and they were yummy, the 2nd one! actually all luh :D
The silence
Thursday, September 10, 2009
I walked today. I just kept walking, aimlessly. My thoughts taking no form, just a wavering lost feeling.
I walked past a private estate and saw no one. Maybe they're all working? Everything seemed so lifeless.
Random smiles Darren's 3 step way to boil eggs.
1. Pour lotsa water. 2. Throw eggs in. 3. On fire.
Wats wrong?
Proper way to boil eggs.
1. pour lotsa water 2. on fire. 3. wait til water boils. 4. put eggs in boiling water.
Duh... i forgot... now my eggs are sitting in a sauna. Neither the water nor the eggs are hot and I dun know wat to expect of my eggs when I crack them...
Woke up in the morning, which is your 12pm. Dragged my lazy body to the kitchen and wooaaah, I see ants everywhere. In the bowl of forgotten leftovers, the cupboards, the rubbish chute, even in the toilet which I dunno why.
I sat there for about 20mins, jus watching the ants do their thing. Carrying some fried shrimpy looking thing over the edge of my kitchen... watcha call that? table? And when they finally got it up to the top. HAH, they cudnt fit the food thru the crevice.
At this point I feel like shouting "losers" but since they're so hardworking unlike me, I'll keep quiet on this.
And there's this group of ants with bigger jaws trying to bite off smaller chunks of... of... BROCCOLI!Rmb the broccoli from the previous posts?!? :D
After the lengthy 20 minutes I reverted to my sadistic ways and did wat most kids would do in a field with a magnifying glass in hand. Buuurn them ants!I don't have a manigfying glass, but what I have is a boiler. Ants meet boiling water, ants stop moving. Nice. Especially when I poured the hot water over the broccoli. ooo, watch them sizzle or eh... boil.
Oh and lastly. the leftovers attracted some bird which gladly made itself at home by pooping all over the place after snacking.
Oh, ooone more thing. The ants were trying to get those too... Not the food, the bird's poop.
Random smiles Ijust found out the reason to why all my pants felt much looser I've been missing breakfast and lunch everyday...
ZOMG a friend linked this to me, its darn amazing man. at least watch the 2nd vid ya?
Nov 2007 Prisoners at Cebu are considered the most dangerous offenders in the Philippines. But thanks to four hours of dance lessons a day, their behaviour has been transformed. Previously, Cebu prison was a wretched place ruled by rival gangs. But when the warden introduced dance lessons, everything changed. "Everyone became friends". Now the prisoners spend most of the day practising new routines. Videos of them dancing to 80s classics have become a big hit on YouTube. FROM YOUTUBE
on a sidenote: wow, i find that this is so meaningful. Look at how they all dance with enthusiasm and for their friends and families. I think its so meaningful and it gives the prisoners a sense of self esteem.
Jaiho
Sorry Sorry (this is my favourite, the moves are so slick :D)
clap your hands to the music..
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
heh, yet another boring day with fairly interesting happenings.
Learnt 3 different sets of dance for YEP trip; indian dance, mass dance and... sports dance - from Hi5 ...
Woke up early to an invitation for badminton. Ran out of stamina in 5 minutes. Getting old and rusty.
Burnt my tongue while eating lunch. Made the 100plus taste all sour-ish.
Day 2 of internet failure :/
Ate a lonely meal; 3 egg pratas at a rip off price
Owells, such is another day of my holidays :/
I'll stand up with you forever~ ♥
Happy Birthday, My Friend
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Class gathering at Irwin's Study was a blast!!!! Although "Class" there only meant one-third of class that came.
Minus of those who were working and those who couldn't make it at the last minute, only 7 ppl turned up. Quite far from the estimated half of the class who could make it on the original date.
Buuuut none the less, we had a loooot of fun. Those who didn't turn up will be envious. Believe me.
Haha, despite turning 30 recently, Irwin has more like a friend of our age. Especially when playing games
Kay, shall be using pictures instead...
Ordered 4 pizzas plus side orders
Playing Taboo
Squeaaak
Playing Indian Poker. Guess who's gonna lose?
Me. Card dealing fail. Twice.
Heart Attack
ARHHHHH~
OH-YAR-PAY-YAR-SOM
And finally, a video specially dedicated to Irwin :) (Darnz... embeding the vid here screws the blog.)
Feeling all screwed. Need new shoes. Need haircut.
But, I've realized. Maybe it's not that I'm lazy. Maybe it's just that I fear that loneliness. The loneliness I might feel when I'm out alone, and just a simple walk across. And the computer works like a great suppressant. But like all drugs, constant use over time lowers its effect. I guess time is catching up with me now.
Knowing this, what's next. Family? I doubt. Friends? I'm not so sure either. People have their own lives too. So thus, this inanimate technology has sat by me more than anyone else has ever did, numbing my need and desire for socialization, crippling my knowing of it. Adding to my extraction from common life, I resided in a corner in recluse, my world filled with darkness and empty walls.
And as I'm thrust back into society again, I find myself lost. I see new faces. I see new lives. I see the world that I've left behind still moving on, letting me know my absence was minute. Isolation has stolen the part of me that enables me to relate to another.
Left an struggling idiot of society, I quickly picked up cues from the people around me. A smile, a greeting, or a certain words. I also found that a quick laugh fixes many things, or, can be used to hiding. It didn't seemed too hard, but I came to realize that gestures can hold many meanings. So many that I became confused.
I've met many, compared to the usual ten. Some are weak, some are strong, so strong they frighten me. Others say they care, but how much they really do, I don't know. Or am I expecting too much?
Homeless, I seek shelter under the roof of others. I might have grown accustomed to the cold winds and harsh rain, but the feeling of a warm house, where comfort and filling follow, I couldn't bear to resist?
I knocked on several doors, asking if I could be let in. Most doors never opened. A couple invited me in, though I left quickly before I became a nuisance. However I've knocked the door of a particularly kind stranger. A lady who was open and welcoming.
We chatted often. For once, I felt a home. But my cautiousness kept me from entering her doorstep. The door was left opened anyway. During storms, I would sit in her house, but I stayed near the door, with an increased awareness. It was my longest place of residence.
Would this be my first friend? What if it was all my delusion? I wondered if I would ever be able to savour that feeling of friendship, or just a relationship with another being. That feeling felt so foreign to me.
Darren Nico Pillai