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A Wish Come True,
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Haha, I know the previous post was dam emo but yea, was just some spiral of emo thoughts. but. nonetheless. I thought about something.I've been searching for one since eons ago. I had my ideals, I had my hopes, I had that tiny little wish for it to come true. I wasn't searching for money, fame, or attention. I was hoping deep down, for a companion. A partner, a bestie, a good friend, whichever.Being shunned by the world time and time over again, due to my quite unlikable nature, which many have not experienced, I closed up my heart from within, being naturally open, yet never letting anyone touch even the out skirts of heart's walls. Being fearful of the possible hurt of having one grow near to me only to leave me when he/she finds me hard to be with. I unconsciously play an intimacy game with everyone near me, testing if they were reliable and trustable for me to allow deeper. Anyways, despite having that one and only one issue with you, which I know you have your reasons for, I never quite realized the person you are to me. It was through the times of reflection that I realized how great a friend you were. You knew me and understood my inner self. You accepted and allowed me to be who I am, moulding me along to become someone better. You shared psychological and philosophical debates over matters like there was no tomorrow. Your proximity found me at my deep thoughts which no other could reach. You become my best friend in my eyes.Deep inside, my heart wouldn't dare treat you as one. Not knowing my value in your eyes, I dare not bare everything to you in fear of me being a burden. I was afraid I would be a nuisance to you, just as many out there before. But over the times, our relationship grew closer. And closer.I never once thought of me being your best friend, perhaps just some friend fun to be with. But ever since yesterday, while a tear rolled down from each eye, I thought back about many things we done together. Now, I say this with much trepidation and anxiety... What if maybe, you saw me as a best friend? or maybe a good friend? I dare not fathom the answer.But truly, what you've done for me has been one of the greatest thing anyone has done in my life and when I look at the end of 3 years, I hope poly never ends. I don't wanna lose you as a friend. I never had any friend truer than you.What if that which I've been searching for all along in my heart, was right here before me eyes? It's like a dream come true, or maybe, too good to be true. I'm afraid to believe that you will be a best friend (in mutual context) I dare not even hold imaginations about it.I dunno, I really dont know, I cannot bring myself to have the slightest imagination that I would be valued by you as a best friend. The irony of having a heart's wish come true, and yet dare not believe it is really is meant to be.Are we really meant to be friends? Good friends? Best friends? Because if we are, I promise, I'll give my all and everything to you.Labels: frenz, heart, Me, thoughts
Darren Nico Pillai
Not-so-average teen, deep thinker, perfectionist with quirky randomness. Trained in the art of sarcasm and nonsensical logic.
Overcoming the circumstances of the present, and the issues of my past,
striving in self-betterment with a moral balance with the hope of the fulfillment of the destiny to be a light for Christ in His likeness,
spreading the love of God as how He first loved us
==============================================================
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like You have loved me
Break my heart for what breaks Yours
Everything I am, for Your kingdom's cause
As I walk from earth into eternity
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
- Hosanna -
Philosophy:
I like to think about life, especially pursuing on the concept of love. Not that lovey dovey romantic kind, but the affections we have for one another
that ties us together,strangers, friends, besties, family, that's the love I wanna know about. Love is the essence of life that ties us together,
love is what we were made for and to be, love is embracing the gift of the relationship with GOD.
Find me at Facebook and Twitter
Leave a message on my tagboard or drop me some questions if any.
Collection of inspirations and reminders: Nico_thoughts@Twitter
==============================================================
A Wish Come True,
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Haha, I know the previous post was dam emo but yea, was just some spiral of emo thoughts. but. nonetheless. I thought about something.I've been searching for one since eons ago. I had my ideals, I had my hopes, I had that tiny little wish for it to come true. I wasn't searching for money, fame, or attention. I was hoping deep down, for a companion. A partner, a bestie, a good friend, whichever.Being shunned by the world time and time over again, due to my quite unlikable nature, which many have not experienced, I closed up my heart from within, being naturally open, yet never letting anyone touch even the out skirts of heart's walls. Being fearful of the possible hurt of having one grow near to me only to leave me when he/she finds me hard to be with. I unconsciously play an intimacy game with everyone near me, testing if they were reliable and trustable for me to allow deeper. Anyways, despite having that one and only one issue with you, which I know you have your reasons for, I never quite realized the person you are to me. It was through the times of reflection that I realized how great a friend you were. You knew me and understood my inner self. You accepted and allowed me to be who I am, moulding me along to become someone better. You shared psychological and philosophical debates over matters like there was no tomorrow. Your proximity found me at my deep thoughts which no other could reach. You become my best friend in my eyes.Deep inside, my heart wouldn't dare treat you as one. Not knowing my value in your eyes, I dare not bare everything to you in fear of me being a burden. I was afraid I would be a nuisance to you, just as many out there before. But over the times, our relationship grew closer. And closer.I never once thought of me being your best friend, perhaps just some friend fun to be with. But ever since yesterday, while a tear rolled down from each eye, I thought back about many things we done together. Now, I say this with much trepidation and anxiety... What if maybe, you saw me as a best friend? or maybe a good friend? I dare not fathom the answer.But truly, what you've done for me has been one of the greatest thing anyone has done in my life and when I look at the end of 3 years, I hope poly never ends. I don't wanna lose you as a friend. I never had any friend truer than you.What if that which I've been searching for all along in my heart, was right here before me eyes? It's like a dream come true, or maybe, too good to be true. I'm afraid to believe that you will be a best friend (in mutual context) I dare not even hold imaginations about it.I dunno, I really dont know, I cannot bring myself to have the slightest imagination that I would be valued by you as a best friend. The irony of having a heart's wish come true, and yet dare not believe it is really is meant to be.Are we really meant to be friends? Good friends? Best friends? Because if we are, I promise, I'll give my all and everything to you.Labels: frenz, heart, Me, thoughts
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