I feel like running away, leaving everything behind for good.

I'm tired of being strong and keeping myself together. I wish I could be the one who's taken care of instead. I'd really like to be. But then I ask myself, "Why must everything be about me?" and I tell myself to keep it together for just bit more.

I'm reaching a bursting point in my life. Again and again, I feel the urge to be the complete screwed up mess and let loose. I'm so tired of fighting the monster within, suppressing it. A part of me cares, another part of me fears. Spotting the frequent outbursts to the people around, it only feels right if I keep myself away from others. I don't want to hurt or affect others. The other half that fears, I don't know what to do with it. I really desire to just be me, allow the other half of me to live. Flawed, crazy, messed up, immatured, aggressive. But will anyone stay?

I hate myself really, the person that I am. Whatever I do, it still traces back to that mess inside. No matter what I do, where I go, whoever I meet, I still am that selfish person. I want to escape this, run away from the whole mess that I am. So I don't have to suffer, and neither does anyone have to in my place.

What if, just what if, I stopped trying and let things be, how would life be?

Labels: EMO, life, thoughts

I feel like running away, leaving everything behind for good.

I'm tired of being strong and keeping myself together. I wish I could be the one who's taken care of instead. I'd really like to be. But then I ask myself, "Why must everything be about me?" and I tell myself to keep it together for just bit more.

I'm reaching a bursting point in my life. Again and again, I feel the urge to be the complete screwed up mess and let loose. I'm so tired of fighting the monster within, suppressing it. A part of me cares, another part of me fears. Spotting the frequent outbursts to the people around, it only feels right if I keep myself away from others. I don't want to hurt or affect others. The other half that fears, I don't know what to do with it. I really desire to just be me, allow the other half of me to live. Flawed, crazy, messed up, immatured, aggressive. But will anyone stay?

I hate myself really, the person that I am. Whatever I do, it still traces back to that mess inside. No matter what I do, where I go, whoever I meet, I still am that selfish person. I want to escape this, run away from the whole mess that I am. So I don't have to suffer, and neither does anyone have to in my place.

What if, just what if, I stopped trying and let things be, how would life be?

Labels: EMO, life, thoughts