Sometimes I don't know what to do. It's reached that stage where I hit the glass ceiling again. After this point, most relationships either stagnate or fade. I'm scared. It feels like I'm helplessly bound to lose them.
The feeling sucks, sometimes I just watch on as other friendships continue to solidify into stability, still maintaining contact, calling each out for dates and I wonder to myself why the hell doesn't all this come natural to me. It's as though my heart was kept behind invisible walls, and I slowly succumb to the belief in my ineptitude for friendship, the long lasting deep ones I mean. I can't find my way out to people, to the dreams I see myself to be.
I have a lot of undesirable traits when it comes to friendship. On immediate second thoughts, people have commented that I am or will make a good friend. Would that be me over-analyzing my flaws, or sadly that people being unaware of them until closer proximity. I wonder if anyone understands.
Labels: frenz, life, thoughts
Darren Nico Pillai