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A 2nd chance
Wednesday, August 17, 2011

The idea that I mean something to the people around still doesn't sit well with my mind.

Those names... It feels real, yet unbelievable. For me to be loved for who I am. It feels sad, that people tell me I'm loved by many, yet I feel otherwise.

I seem somewhat blinded to this supposed fact. It is them? Or is it me? Could I be searching for something more than what I already have.

When you told me about them, a wave of disgust flooded me, the same reaction as when she did. I felt disgusted at myself for entertaining the thoughts of them being a reality. It's a pathetic scene.

But hey, I'll try to believe, take that dare to open up my inside to people around, allow myself to be weak. Never liked the idea of being weak, because no one comes.

But maybe that's why I'm feeling all these again, the re-awakening of all these emotions, locked up somewhere. My weaknesses and fears, hurts and broken dreams. A fear behind these walls of fortitude, that no one would come for me. Dont want to be seen as weak and pathetic either.

Don't like all these feelings that I have. Don't want to be alone.

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