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A 2nd chance
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
The idea that I mean something to the people around still doesn't sit well with my mind.
Those names... It feels real, yet unbelievable. For me to be loved for who I am. It feels sad, that people tell me I'm loved by many, yet I feel otherwise.
I seem somewhat blinded to this supposed fact. It is them? Or is it me? Could I be searching for something more than what I already have.
When you told me about them, a wave of disgust flooded me, the same reaction as when she did. I felt disgusted at myself for entertaining the thoughts of them being a reality. It's a pathetic scene.
But hey, I'll try to believe, take that dare to open up my inside to people around, allow myself to be weak. Never liked the idea of being weak, because no one comes.
But maybe that's why I'm feeling all these again, the re-awakening of all these emotions, locked up somewhere. My weaknesses and fears, hurts and broken dreams. A fear behind these walls of fortitude, that no one would come for me. Dont want to be seen as weak and pathetic either.
Don't like all these feelings that I have. Don't want to be alone.
Labels: heart, Me, memories, thoughts

Darren Nico Pillai
Not-so-average teen, deep thinker, perfectionist with quirky randomness. Trained in the art of sarcasm and nonsensical logic.
Overcoming the circumstances of the present, and the issues of my past,
striving in self-betterment with a moral balance with the hope of the fulfillment of the destiny to be a light for Christ in His likeness,
spreading the love of God as how He first loved us
==============================================================
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like You have loved me
Break my heart for what breaks Yours
Everything I am, for Your kingdom's cause
As I walk from earth into eternity ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
- Hosanna -
Philosophy:
I like to think about life, especially pursuing on the concept of love. Not that lovey dovey romantic kind, but the affections we have for one another
that ties us together,strangers, friends, besties, family, that's the love I wanna know about. Love is the essence of life that ties us together,
love is what we were made for and to be, love is embracing the gift of the relationship with GOD.
Find me at Facebook and Twitter
Leave a message on my tagboard or drop me some questions if any.
Collection of inspirations and reminders: Nico_thoughts@Twitter
==============================================================
A 2nd chance
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
The idea that I mean something to the people around still doesn't sit well with my mind.
Those names... It feels real, yet unbelievable. For me to be loved for who I am. It feels sad, that people tell me I'm loved by many, yet I feel otherwise.
I seem somewhat blinded to this supposed fact. It is them? Or is it me? Could I be searching for something more than what I already have.
When you told me about them, a wave of disgust flooded me, the same reaction as when she did. I felt disgusted at myself for entertaining the thoughts of them being a reality. It's a pathetic scene.
But hey, I'll try to believe, take that dare to open up my inside to people around, allow myself to be weak. Never liked the idea of being weak, because no one comes.
But maybe that's why I'm feeling all these again, the re-awakening of all these emotions, locked up somewhere. My weaknesses and fears, hurts and broken dreams. A fear behind these walls of fortitude, that no one would come for me. Dont want to be seen as weak and pathetic either.
Don't like all these feelings that I have. Don't want to be alone.
Labels: heart, Me, memories, thoughts
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