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Seasons of Pain
Monday, July 4, 2011
This has been one of the most trying periods of my life. The pain haunts me everyday. And during the nights it becomes unbearable.Sometimes , I ask myself what I've done to get this. I try my best in all intentions not to hurt anybody. I strive for doing what's right with whatever I can. I give as much as my selfish mind would.
Was because I did wrong? Or maybe I wasn't good enough. Not good enough for anyone to care. Will there be any redemption?
Right now I wish I can crawl into a hole, escape all these pain. Been growing much more recluse, avoiding people and cut ties with every single friend. Never been in quite a state for really long already.I feel so tired, weak, and pathetic. I feel like I'm not good enough for anybody. I feel like no one loves me, for who I am, but rather what I can do for them or the wants that I have fulfilled. I feel like, no one's going to love me with my flaws, as much as they tell me someone would.I really want leave all these... and find my dad. I need someone to hold me, love me, and tell me I'm perfect just the way I am. There's so many people around me, yet none that I can turn to, none that I can fully rely on to breathe. I've never felt such loneliness before.It feels like I don't belong here. It feels like, no one would ever accept me. Yet there is no escape from reality. I'll just have to make up my own fantasy.it hurts. it really hurts so bad.
Labels: EMO, frenz, heart
Darren Nico Pillai
Not-so-average teen, deep thinker, perfectionist with quirky randomness. Trained in the art of sarcasm and nonsensical logic.
Overcoming the circumstances of the present, and the issues of my past,
striving in self-betterment with a moral balance with the hope of the fulfillment of the destiny to be a light for Christ in His likeness,
spreading the love of God as how He first loved us
==============================================================
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like You have loved me
Break my heart for what breaks Yours
Everything I am, for Your kingdom's cause
As I walk from earth into eternity
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
- Hosanna -
Philosophy:
I like to think about life, especially pursuing on the concept of love. Not that lovey dovey romantic kind, but the affections we have for one another
that ties us together,strangers, friends, besties, family, that's the love I wanna know about. Love is the essence of life that ties us together,
love is what we were made for and to be, love is embracing the gift of the relationship with GOD.
Find me at Facebook and Twitter
Leave a message on my tagboard or drop me some questions if any.
Collection of inspirations and reminders: Nico_thoughts@Twitter
==============================================================
Seasons of Pain
Monday, July 4, 2011
This has been one of the most trying periods of my life. The pain haunts me everyday. And during the nights it becomes unbearable.Sometimes , I ask myself what I've done to get this. I try my best in all intentions not to hurt anybody. I strive for doing what's right with whatever I can. I give as much as my selfish mind would.
Was because I did wrong? Or maybe I wasn't good enough. Not good enough for anyone to care. Will there be any redemption?
Right now I wish I can crawl into a hole, escape all these pain. Been growing much more recluse, avoiding people and cut ties with every single friend. Never been in quite a state for really long already.I feel so tired, weak, and pathetic. I feel like I'm not good enough for anybody. I feel like no one loves me, for who I am, but rather what I can do for them or the wants that I have fulfilled. I feel like, no one's going to love me with my flaws, as much as they tell me someone would.I really want leave all these... and find my dad. I need someone to hold me, love me, and tell me I'm perfect just the way I am. There's so many people around me, yet none that I can turn to, none that I can fully rely on to breathe. I've never felt such loneliness before.It feels like I don't belong here. It feels like, no one would ever accept me. Yet there is no escape from reality. I'll just have to make up my own fantasy.it hurts. it really hurts so bad.
Labels: EMO, frenz, heart
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