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Two Realms
Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Hais. I'm suddenly greatly disappointed by the world.

In this world, there are two realms. The path of righteousness and the path of selfishness. It's not meant to be a "holy" sounding term, but it boils down simply to one issue, will you choose to do what's right or otherwise. Certainly a challenge will be issued as to what defines right and what defines wrong, but that leaves for an un-debatable margin. But in my opinion, there is no gray area. Because the judgment of right or wrong lies not in the action but in the intention.

Doing what’s right is certainly not easy, but to a certain extent, I believe we all know deep inside us what’s right and wrong. More so is the question about are we willing to accept it, or deny the truth and live in the easier path of lies. We may reject a divine law of right and wrong, but we can’t deny the fact that a moral law lives in all of us, built into part of every human concept. We should check ourselves, because more often than not, it’s merely a fact we don’t want to face because of the responsibility it brings.

To start it off, doing wrong is often simpler than doing what’s right. What’s wrong? Once again, two factions exist. The choice for self-gain or for altruism, in short selflessness. Doing what’s wrong includes all the way from living for oneself selfishly, neglecting others, to as minute as just cursing someone quietly because he or she has done you wrong. This does not give me exclusionary privilege of being righteous or holy. I am but as weak as many of you. And yes, the line is so thin. One can do what is seemingly right yet with wrong motives. One can offer help to another only to make him or herself feel worth, or we might ask around for more information in the excuse of wanting to care, yet all we want is to just know more and be slightly amused. Doing wrong is when you push people away, just because everyone has hurt you. True when people do hurt you but when you indiscriminately push everyone away including those who genuinely care for you just for the sole reason of protecting yourself and no other, yea, that’s wrong.

Once again a quick argument might bring up the fact that whole am I to judge right or wrong, or who is to determine. Bullshit. The pressing issue is if this question you ask is to justify the actions you take, and the denial that many of the things we do are often for the gain of the self. Ultimately, who is in gain. You might do something that benefits another yet it is the true fulfilment of our own inner desires. But this is out of league for argument. Truly, you be your own judge. Your actions will bear your own fruits.

This brings me to another highlight that sometimes selflessness can be in the cause of selfishness. Many of us end up in self neglect, denying ourselves proper care, respect and worth. We throw ourselves always as though it was nothing to ‘help others’ but once again, could it be to give some value to your life in ways that you feel you cant value yourself. It’s important to distinguish between human needs and selfish needs. And more often than not, the line is blurred because the pursuit of human needs brings you to selfishness. Hence many find it hard to regulate what is human and what is selfish.

My grand disappointment is the choices of people. I cannot understand why, why must the world live in such selfishness. So many things are done for defense mechanisms, it protect ourselves from harm, hurt, and anything that affects us. I do want to acknowledge that yes, indeed hurt is something we are all aversive to. It sucks. But the only problem is, engaging in self-protective behaviours has one effect, it harms others. When you block out someone, they feel rejected and hurt. When you decide to throw a tantrum, they may feel hurt through unintentional words of anger. When you choose to wallow in the mud, dwelling in self pity and oh how poor thing you are, people give up their time, sometime sacrificially to accommodate you. And the problem is the way and frequency we engage in such behaviours has resulted in a chain cycle of hurts. We’re ever bombarded everyday but things that hurts us all because everyone is doing it. When one side decides to open, another rejects, and it goes on.

So why then should we ought to do what’s right since everyone is doing otherwise? True that, doing good will not brings you any fairness, and often comes with a cost. But hey, it takes a choice to stand up against all these to stop the flow. But well, lets take things from your view. Hey people have transgressed you in many ways, hurtful words, left you, rejected you and so many other ways. Certainly I do not forget or push away these. Every of these hurts are as genuine and painful.

But hey, now, lets present 3 views. 1st, we have the view of others hurting us, briefly mentioned earlier. Something all understandable. 2nd, is to why they do it. Reasons I’ve heard are because they care for themselves, they suck, they just don’t give a damn, mostly an external blame. True that. However, often we judge too early we forget that they too have their difficulties, and that sometimes they fail and end up having negative effects on others when they blow up, break down and more. Now for the 3rd perspective, what we do to others, the harm and wrong we do to others. I believe many would immediately go saying they deserve it, because they did this and that, or that they did me wrong and they didn’t care.

My point is, doesn’t everything look like a mirror image. What they do to you is what you do to them exactly. And many of them for the same purposes and reasons. Some out to gain for themselves, some out to protect ourselves, but the point is, many of the things we do, we do it for ourselves, and anything we do for ourselves, only takes from others. The problem with us is that we often victimize ourselves and blame the others. We did this because of them, and how the world has done you wrong. Have it ever occurred to you that others, and all the rest of the world is thinking the same? Does it give you a point to stand up and fight against the chain in terms of doing right? To be the better man and stop the ricocheting hurts bouncing across others?

No? Some of you might feel that you’ve been wronged too gravely for it, deprived of your rights. And yes, that holds partial truth. Our human needs have been neglected or rejected by the people around us. And you know what, here’s where I bring in the good guys. Let me tell you to all those out there waiting and hoping for a solution to arrive to you, there are people out there, that do and will make the choice to do what’s right, and that they will come for you. They are many good people, and these are a rare few. But all the more its important to not take them for granted!

You see, when people come to help you, it’s a good thing, a blessing in fact. With the ratio of helpers to needs, you’d be lucky that someone came to help you. But there’s one problem again. Once again it comes into play, the way people often treat this for granted. When someone comes to help, we push them away, sometimes out of anger, spite and just to make ourselves feel worse. Let me tell you, you pulling away and hurting yourself only affects those who genuinely care for you. When you hurt yourself, the hurt is doubled unto those that care. That is why defense mechanisms and doing wrong, has never a good effect.

But hey, I believe that is a game that most people play. Wanting to push or test things to see how genuine they are SO as no to get hurt yes? Screw it seriously. Where there’s something good, just take it, and without expectation or feeling like you deserve it. Because not everyone has the capacity to take your test. So when they go down and you feel like no one is there, you only have yourself to blame for being picky of the best. Secondly, when people help, it is to being that glimmer of hope to you. Knowing well and understanding that you are in need, they offer themselves up to provide you with their needs. And hey, that’s something we all take for granted. We, the needy people often treat these like chocolate. You eat chocolate, you’re happy and pleased, when it runs out you’re back to being all gloomy. Hey guys, don’t treat these help like as though you deserved it. Because you don’t, for the very fact that you suck by hurting others through just ensuring your own welfare or for revenge. But because they see your needs they go to you. It comes a time when these people bring a good in your life that hope is not lost, that good still exist, hope relived. And not for you to simply sit there and rely on help to come by, when it comes yay and when it doesn’t boohoo. Guys, for goodness sake, pick yourselves up and be a decent individual. Does it give you enough reason to do what’s right?

I wanna recap by reminding the difference between right and wrong again. But this time I’ll use another perspective of it. Hey, come on, you may see or think us as stronger, more goody, and its something easier for us. But let me clarify with you, doing what's right is not determined by strength of one but by the very choice to do so. People that have chosen to do right, face just as difficult situations, personal struggles like everyone does. I have my own share of losses, negative thoughts, personal struggles and I have to deal with, that would reasonably justify me to become a complete ass but hurting others through my behaviour, choosing to protect myself. But hey, in my course of melancholy, I can choose to listen to the negative thoughts that pits be against others, that blocks out those who care, or put them aside and open myself up. When people piss me off and done wrong against me, I can choose to curse them and plot revenge, gossip and badmouth them, but I can choose to listen and understand that they have their difficulties and reasons for doing such. When someone rejects me and makes my life difficult, I can choose to walk out. But I have made a purpose to stand up to do what’s right, even as unfair as it might be. I face as many struggles as many people do, and in fact our struggles are personally difficult to us, but it doesn’t make it any easier for me to make the choice than you.

Right now I have presented a few reasons to the paradox of hurts, and truly, the number of people trying to do what’s right cannot cope with that much of needs. We will run out of energy one day. It will be great, if everyone can contribute to making this world a better place. One choice made right, one less hurt.

And to all those that hurt, one simple thing is to learn to hold your own forts. Stop shelving things away and wait for people to come, because sometimes they never do. Learn to help yourself, not by doing dysfunctional actions that harm yourself (eg. Self neglect) but learn, learn to overcome your own problems, because we’ll are trying. Don’t give up, don’t lose hope, and never forget the pursuit for self-betterment.

I now close this length message as a shoutout and a humble plea. To those who have been purposing to do what’s right despite the circumstances, it certainly has been challenging. But tarry on my friends, and stay true to your conviction, for because of you, the world will be changed, bit by bit. As for those who are still on the other side, I urge you, to fight this battle along us. Refrain from doing what’s wrong, either to yourself, or to others, together, through a constant sacrifice and a firm hold, we will be able to stop this chain of hurts. To those who don’t really care about this, I hope one day you’ll see the burden of the world, and not add to the chain cycle. You’re in pain, so are we, so let’s do this together shall we?

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