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Pursued - Friend, no more.
Monday, February 21, 2011
Once again those issues resurface. I shalln't emo about it, but it's still the same matters from every friendship. I find that while people are my friends, I'm dont find myself being their friend.I don't think I'm the friend material. It's always aout me forming relationships, only for it to break down sometime after. And if I were to put in effort it'll only amount to an occasional on/off moments where I appear in and out of the friendship.One thing about me is that I lack the initiative to pursue people. Really. Unless I actually think of you and some objective that has to be met, I find no purpose in chasing. I'm not saying this to absolve me of my failure to pursue people. Just that I find it very tedious to "catch up" with people when I find no need to.Looking back into my past, I never was pursued by anyone. I know the only pursuit I had was for my best friend, whom didnt really did the same for me. As I grow up, I got used to that isolated state, feeling ok with it. I'm not sure, but I do believe this causes me to have little or no value in terms of pursuing people. I'm fine alone (not that it's that good for me).Sucks though, for those who are my friends whom are left with someone who only appears when he finds a need to, and then disappears afterward. Someone inconsistently unpredictable when the next chance the friendship will be active again.Hais. I find myself being more comfortable as a good person rather than a good friend. A friend bears the responsibility for the other friend. Whereas, me being a good person, merely have a duty of just helping ppl and then moving on. Owells. Both good and bad. if I keep helping lotsa people and everyone wants become friends then I think I'm sure to be overwhelmed.Nonetheless, I guess there's more to life than being a good person. Shall work on being a friend now. but, I'd like to remove my label as a friend. I find that I don't really deserve it. But I will work for it, whatever little I have, God will make it great.Labels: frenz, Me, thoughts
Darren Nico Pillai
Not-so-average teen, deep thinker, perfectionist with quirky randomness. Trained in the art of sarcasm and nonsensical logic.
Overcoming the circumstances of the present, and the issues of my past,
striving in self-betterment with a moral balance with the hope of the fulfillment of the destiny to be a light for Christ in His likeness,
spreading the love of God as how He first loved us
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Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like You have loved me
Break my heart for what breaks Yours
Everything I am, for Your kingdom's cause
As I walk from earth into eternity
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- Hosanna -
Philosophy:
I like to think about life, especially pursuing on the concept of love. Not that lovey dovey romantic kind, but the affections we have for one another
that ties us together,strangers, friends, besties, family, that's the love I wanna know about. Love is the essence of life that ties us together,
love is what we were made for and to be, love is embracing the gift of the relationship with GOD.
Find me at Facebook and Twitter
Leave a message on my tagboard or drop me some questions if any.
Collection of inspirations and reminders: Nico_thoughts@Twitter
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Pursued - Friend, no more.
Monday, February 21, 2011
Once again those issues resurface. I shalln't emo about it, but it's still the same matters from every friendship. I find that while people are my friends, I'm dont find myself being their friend.I don't think I'm the friend material. It's always aout me forming relationships, only for it to break down sometime after. And if I were to put in effort it'll only amount to an occasional on/off moments where I appear in and out of the friendship.One thing about me is that I lack the initiative to pursue people. Really. Unless I actually think of you and some objective that has to be met, I find no purpose in chasing. I'm not saying this to absolve me of my failure to pursue people. Just that I find it very tedious to "catch up" with people when I find no need to.Looking back into my past, I never was pursued by anyone. I know the only pursuit I had was for my best friend, whom didnt really did the same for me. As I grow up, I got used to that isolated state, feeling ok with it. I'm not sure, but I do believe this causes me to have little or no value in terms of pursuing people. I'm fine alone (not that it's that good for me).Sucks though, for those who are my friends whom are left with someone who only appears when he finds a need to, and then disappears afterward. Someone inconsistently unpredictable when the next chance the friendship will be active again.Hais. I find myself being more comfortable as a good person rather than a good friend. A friend bears the responsibility for the other friend. Whereas, me being a good person, merely have a duty of just helping ppl and then moving on. Owells. Both good and bad. if I keep helping lotsa people and everyone wants become friends then I think I'm sure to be overwhelmed.Nonetheless, I guess there's more to life than being a good person. Shall work on being a friend now. but, I'd like to remove my label as a friend. I find that I don't really deserve it. But I will work for it, whatever little I have, God will make it great.Labels: frenz, Me, thoughts
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