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Crystal Thoughts
Monday, December 27, 2010
Thank you for allowing me that chance. Sorry I got so retardedly hyped out I kinda neglected your feelings. I think I didn't realize how much it meant to me.It suddenly came to mind, after calming down, how, I've hardly ever felt being the recipient of self-disclosure. Aside from xiongz who does it more. Maybe I'm the only fool who openly displays everything to everyone but heh. Anyway, it meant a lot to me. Somehow. I didn't dare open the page, it just felt so unreal. The second my eyes laid on it, a whole bunch of emotions flowed in. This place somehow, had a sentimental value to me. It felt like a distant memory, haha, maybe something like Narnia O.O But yea, I could picture myself entering the room, peering at all the ornaments, feeling the texture of the walls.I think, and felt, that those thoughts were so beautiful, so precious and delicate. Like crystal sculptures. Each memory, had a story to it, a sweet gentle touch to it. I dunno, but it felt overwhelming. I finally could leave aside all the guessing games, and be able to see your thoughts.Really treasure this chance, this moment where I am able to walk into the room, as feel it. I learned some things. Never concretely knew my value to you. As well as all the moments of my selfishness I see. Shouldn't take you for granted. Gonna try my best to love you more.Thank you ._. Thank you so much for giving me this chance. Not sure if you understand, but it means, a heck lot to me. So much I'll prolly emo about it. haha. Anyways, still sorry for the insensitivity ._. I suck.Til the next dream...================
Had a talk with ZX about 2011. A common weight in our minds is the we both know it's gonna be our last year together, before it's left much to fate to direct it's course. However, I really appreciate that both of us can come objectively together, to acknowledge the possible departure of this meaningful friendship without the doom and gloom.We will one day in time, have to come to part, a fact we both understand. But it is in our consciousness that it reminds us to cherish and make the fullest of whatever that's given to us. Rather than hold back, all the more should we pour everything we have into it, even if it meant our hearts breaking harder when the day comes. Because we know it'll be worth it all.As much as our hearts desire for that infinite bond, it is undeniable that circumstances will dampen that bond, and perhaps in it's worst, dissolve it. I often wonder what would my future life be like without him. Army, uni, work, future, without this great brother and gift. But all I know is that, he'll forever be someone special in my heart, regardless of where my journey leads me. For the first miracle my heart yearned for, he'll be one that I'll place in my heart, forever.And hah, you came to mind too. Not sure what's gonna happen after poly. Thing will change probably. Heartbreaks will be there. But I just want to let you know, if I could choose, I'd want our lives to be together forever. I wanna be there for you through it all. But I'll have faith. Faith that strength will see you through, even when the day comes I cease to exist by your side. And love will fill your heart, and life will ever so meaningful. I believe, and I love you.In closure, I still hold to my belief that bonds are not made to last forever, but for a specific time and purpose. However, my philosophy would be:Don't cry because it's over, be thankful because it happened.
And that I truly am. ^^Labels: heart, memories, qq, thoughts
Darren Nico Pillai
Not-so-average teen, deep thinker, perfectionist with quirky randomness. Trained in the art of sarcasm and nonsensical logic.
Overcoming the circumstances of the present, and the issues of my past,
striving in self-betterment with a moral balance with the hope of the fulfillment of the destiny to be a light for Christ in His likeness,
spreading the love of God as how He first loved us
==============================================================
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like You have loved me
Break my heart for what breaks Yours
Everything I am, for Your kingdom's cause
As I walk from earth into eternity
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
- Hosanna -
Philosophy:
I like to think about life, especially pursuing on the concept of love. Not that lovey dovey romantic kind, but the affections we have for one another
that ties us together,strangers, friends, besties, family, that's the love I wanna know about. Love is the essence of life that ties us together,
love is what we were made for and to be, love is embracing the gift of the relationship with GOD.
Find me at Facebook and Twitter
Leave a message on my tagboard or drop me some questions if any.
Collection of inspirations and reminders: Nico_thoughts@Twitter
==============================================================
Crystal Thoughts
Monday, December 27, 2010
Thank you for allowing me that chance. Sorry I got so retardedly hyped out I kinda neglected your feelings. I think I didn't realize how much it meant to me.It suddenly came to mind, after calming down, how, I've hardly ever felt being the recipient of self-disclosure. Aside from xiongz who does it more. Maybe I'm the only fool who openly displays everything to everyone but heh. Anyway, it meant a lot to me. Somehow. I didn't dare open the page, it just felt so unreal. The second my eyes laid on it, a whole bunch of emotions flowed in. This place somehow, had a sentimental value to me. It felt like a distant memory, haha, maybe something like Narnia O.O But yea, I could picture myself entering the room, peering at all the ornaments, feeling the texture of the walls.I think, and felt, that those thoughts were so beautiful, so precious and delicate. Like crystal sculptures. Each memory, had a story to it, a sweet gentle touch to it. I dunno, but it felt overwhelming. I finally could leave aside all the guessing games, and be able to see your thoughts.Really treasure this chance, this moment where I am able to walk into the room, as feel it. I learned some things. Never concretely knew my value to you. As well as all the moments of my selfishness I see. Shouldn't take you for granted. Gonna try my best to love you more.Thank you ._. Thank you so much for giving me this chance. Not sure if you understand, but it means, a heck lot to me. So much I'll prolly emo about it. haha. Anyways, still sorry for the insensitivity ._. I suck.Til the next dream...================
Had a talk with ZX about 2011. A common weight in our minds is the we both know it's gonna be our last year together, before it's left much to fate to direct it's course. However, I really appreciate that both of us can come objectively together, to acknowledge the possible departure of this meaningful friendship without the doom and gloom.We will one day in time, have to come to part, a fact we both understand. But it is in our consciousness that it reminds us to cherish and make the fullest of whatever that's given to us. Rather than hold back, all the more should we pour everything we have into it, even if it meant our hearts breaking harder when the day comes. Because we know it'll be worth it all.As much as our hearts desire for that infinite bond, it is undeniable that circumstances will dampen that bond, and perhaps in it's worst, dissolve it. I often wonder what would my future life be like without him. Army, uni, work, future, without this great brother and gift. But all I know is that, he'll forever be someone special in my heart, regardless of where my journey leads me. For the first miracle my heart yearned for, he'll be one that I'll place in my heart, forever.And hah, you came to mind too. Not sure what's gonna happen after poly. Thing will change probably. Heartbreaks will be there. But I just want to let you know, if I could choose, I'd want our lives to be together forever. I wanna be there for you through it all. But I'll have faith. Faith that strength will see you through, even when the day comes I cease to exist by your side. And love will fill your heart, and life will ever so meaningful. I believe, and I love you.In closure, I still hold to my belief that bonds are not made to last forever, but for a specific time and purpose. However, my philosophy would be:Don't cry because it's over, be thankful because it happened.
And that I truly am. ^^Labels: heart, memories, qq, thoughts
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