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Don't really wannt turn back
Monday, November 15, 2010
Today's been a weird pensive day somehow.
somehow feels like lotsa things have been weighing on my heart. Events management, HiClub, friend issues and dynamics, supporting others, assignment due dates, thoughts about life as well.
Hais. To a certain few friends.
To one group, both present and past. Sorry for my way of friendship. It's jus my style of doing things or not I'll get overloaded. Social capacity as once mentioned. But hais, sometimes you guys wanna know the truth, yet I'm not sur eif it's my fault for revealing everything, but most of the times, people cant handle the brutal truth, and in the end it affects some dynamics. ZZZ
I'm tired luh, and I know you prolly wouldn't really care if it made a difference. It's your choice, it's your path. I done as best that I can, whether in good or in bad results. It's my foolishness for doing it even when you told me to go away but argh what to do, I'm a fool for life when it comes to such matters, not that I'm sure if it even qualifies to you. But either way you wan it, I'm regressing from a friends role to a passerby. Once again thoughts rampage my mind of the returns, but I guess it'll in childish fantasies. Maybe I was never good enough for you.
And you, another one. I owe you I think. Not sure if you're still here all these but yea, sorry for all the awkwardness and stuff. I still do think of you every now and then, or when I see you. But just feel so burned out and weird to even say hi. sorry I suck ._. You know, I kinda wanted to do something about us when sem started. Thought of buying some thingy to pass to you. It's been 3 weeks and I've done nothing. Duuuh. Haha, I think you just forget about me bah =P But continue working on your life k. I once said you were someone strong and positive and I'm not gonna retract that. Go on and fight everything ok, even if life beats you down, slap it back and stand up. I believe in you. =) Gambatte
Anyway, I think I'm gonna burn myself out this sem trying to get my hiclub class to bond, but owells. I'ma put in all I got for this valuable generation. Needa give them my all as best as I can. Shall persevere on, even if it kills me so.
Don't wanna turn back, even though you wouldn't chase, you wouldn't dare, nor would you last. You'd rather let it go, thinking it was best for me. But dont worry, my heart isn't strong enough to harden, I'll come back somehow, somewhat. Just maybe for now, I gotta pull through this season, till that fool within takes me back to you, if you still would be there.
Hais.
I need a break. But there's no space. Too many things to handle, too many responsibility to bear, too many people around. Needing that love but yet I feel its so selfish. Zzz, let it pass soon, or give me the strength to carry through. So much things to do, so little time.Labels: EMO, frenz, hi club
Darren Nico Pillai
Not-so-average teen, deep thinker, perfectionist with quirky randomness. Trained in the art of sarcasm and nonsensical logic.
Overcoming the circumstances of the present, and the issues of my past,
striving in self-betterment with a moral balance with the hope of the fulfillment of the destiny to be a light for Christ in His likeness,
spreading the love of God as how He first loved us
==============================================================
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like You have loved me
Break my heart for what breaks Yours
Everything I am, for Your kingdom's cause
As I walk from earth into eternity
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
- Hosanna -
Philosophy:
I like to think about life, especially pursuing on the concept of love. Not that lovey dovey romantic kind, but the affections we have for one another
that ties us together,strangers, friends, besties, family, that's the love I wanna know about. Love is the essence of life that ties us together,
love is what we were made for and to be, love is embracing the gift of the relationship with GOD.
Find me at Facebook and Twitter
Leave a message on my tagboard or drop me some questions if any.
Collection of inspirations and reminders: Nico_thoughts@Twitter
==============================================================
Don't really wannt turn back
Monday, November 15, 2010
Today's been a weird pensive day somehow.
somehow feels like lotsa things have been weighing on my heart. Events management, HiClub, friend issues and dynamics, supporting others, assignment due dates, thoughts about life as well.
Hais. To a certain few friends.
To one group, both present and past. Sorry for my way of friendship. It's jus my style of doing things or not I'll get overloaded. Social capacity as once mentioned. But hais, sometimes you guys wanna know the truth, yet I'm not sur eif it's my fault for revealing everything, but most of the times, people cant handle the brutal truth, and in the end it affects some dynamics. ZZZ
I'm tired luh, and I know you prolly wouldn't really care if it made a difference. It's your choice, it's your path. I done as best that I can, whether in good or in bad results. It's my foolishness for doing it even when you told me to go away but argh what to do, I'm a fool for life when it comes to such matters, not that I'm sure if it even qualifies to you. But either way you wan it, I'm regressing from a friends role to a passerby. Once again thoughts rampage my mind of the returns, but I guess it'll in childish fantasies. Maybe I was never good enough for you.
And you, another one. I owe you I think. Not sure if you're still here all these but yea, sorry for all the awkwardness and stuff. I still do think of you every now and then, or when I see you. But just feel so burned out and weird to even say hi. sorry I suck ._. You know, I kinda wanted to do something about us when sem started. Thought of buying some thingy to pass to you. It's been 3 weeks and I've done nothing. Duuuh. Haha, I think you just forget about me bah =P But continue working on your life k. I once said you were someone strong and positive and I'm not gonna retract that. Go on and fight everything ok, even if life beats you down, slap it back and stand up. I believe in you. =) Gambatte
Anyway, I think I'm gonna burn myself out this sem trying to get my hiclub class to bond, but owells. I'ma put in all I got for this valuable generation. Needa give them my all as best as I can. Shall persevere on, even if it kills me so.
Don't wanna turn back, even though you wouldn't chase, you wouldn't dare, nor would you last. You'd rather let it go, thinking it was best for me. But dont worry, my heart isn't strong enough to harden, I'll come back somehow, somewhat. Just maybe for now, I gotta pull through this season, till that fool within takes me back to you, if you still would be there.
Hais.
I need a break. But there's no space. Too many things to handle, too many responsibility to bear, too many people around. Needing that love but yet I feel its so selfish. Zzz, let it pass soon, or give me the strength to carry through. So much things to do, so little time.Labels: EMO, frenz, hi club
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