Been too long I'm stuck in this 'world'. When I glimpse out, I see all the things I could be doing, should be doing. But day after day, I confine myself to this escape. How long has it been...? Almost 8 years now, since I first got the computer. Ever since, I've been facing its screen for long hours, effortlessly accumulating more than 12 hours of straight usage. It's become a refuge for my loneliness, a container for these emotions and thoughts, numbing them with distractions.
I'm used to this lifestyle and I hate and want to get out of it. Been making a effort to play lesser games and engage in more productive behaviour, preferably getting out of the house. However, consciously been out of it means more vulnerability plagued by those emotions. The emptiness, the loneliness. Feels like a disease, eating you from the inside like leprosy
I'm tired of escaping. I want to live worthwhile. It's going to be a tough struggle, but I'll brave it.
Labels: life, thoughts
Darren Nico Pillai