Sometimes I think you're just a selfish bitch wallowing in self pity. You destroy yourself, and then destroy the people who care for you. Then it goes back to blaming the world for leaving you alone and feeling sorry for yourself again. You love yourself way more than others, and this fragile shell you've made to protect yourself in.

No one can help you anymore. Only you can help yourself. There are people who care for you whether or not you see it. People love us less than what we expect, but more than we realize. At the end of the day, it's just a sorry state for you to be in, ending your life believing so earnestly of your loneliness, hating the world for it. There were people around. you just never saw, you'd never open your heart to receive.

You gotta take responsibility for your life as well. Everyone experiences that deep loneliness at some point of their lives. In fact, I like to bet that majority of people are lonely people inside, even those wearing the biggest smile everyday. The world is more disconnected than it seems, with social networks giving us illusions of being connected. Shut your laptop, switch off your handphone, and you might just join the multitudes of people, with a cold beating heart, holding themselves to sleep.

It's what you want to do with it. I've been through my own share of loneliness growing up. Grew up emotionally alone from my family when young. Dwelled in self pity and just feel so sorry for myself, of how I deserve to be loved, that I should be given more attention and care, to make up for what the world owes me. My problem and hurts was soooo big and pitiful. People should come for me, give in to me. That all these needs inside me ought to be met. Ending my pitiful life which no one cares about. And I lived in years for that, waiting for some miracle sent person who would come to save me from this sad pit I'm in.

Until I realize the only miracle person that's gonna get anything solve is the one you see in the mirror. The big problem is us, that idiot that wallows in the mud of sorrow. We become so absorbed in feeling sorry for ourselves, we take all these hurts, and tend to it, take care of it, nurture it, since no one would. In the end, we become so focused on it, it becomes our pet, our companion, the one you turn to when you're hurt and sad. After all, it's the only thing that can relate to you, the doppelganger of your past, only it will know your pain, only it will know your hurts. And so you run back to its embrace, making sorrow your friend. And that's the only friend you'll have because of how "safe" it is.

I like to think depression is merely chronic self pity. I wouldn't categorize it as a mental disorder. But I'll say it's definitely not something that can be snapped out of, but more of weaning the reliance of that perverted comfort in that dark gloomy world, to find a more realistic hope in the world. And by realistic, I refer to both the loving good, and the painful bad that encompasses everything in life. It comes as a bundle, but true happiness outweighs the suffering. Nostalgic moments with friends and family, outshine the arguments and disputes we've had. Because all these made us who we were today. The pain taught us to be stronger to overcome, losses taught us to what's important in life, and suffering taught us character to become better people.

So learn from it all. Life can be harsh sometimes. So instead of sulking in a corner and never graduating from it, learn to accept the reality of life. Dont neglect the people around that care simply because we're too caught up with our own selves. Open our eyes to see how our silly whimsical negative thoughts hurts the people who care and loves us. There will be bouts of loneliness, downs of melancholy, and quivers of heartaches, but don't forget it too that there are the lovely moments as well, much indescribable to how it personally plays our heartstrings. There is both the good and bad in life, it all depends how we want to approach it, the perspective we take on it.

Be responsible for your own life. Work on it as best as you can. The world is unfair, not just to you, but everyone. Know that there are always people more unfortunate than you, no matter how bad it seems. Open doors and partner people. Expect nothing from them, but the unpredictability of life, with its ups and downs. For everything that you can do, do the best of it. No one has the right to be loved, no one deserves to be loved. But by grace, we are, and so we love too. Accept others just as you wish to be accepted, a simple law of reciprocity. Life is what you make it to be.

Be happy, or be sad. It's a choice.

Labels: life, thoughts

Sometimes I think you're just a selfish bitch wallowing in self pity. You destroy yourself, and then destroy the people who care for you. Then it goes back to blaming the world for leaving you alone and feeling sorry for yourself again. You love yourself way more than others, and this fragile shell you've made to protect yourself in.

No one can help you anymore. Only you can help yourself. There are people who care for you whether or not you see it. People love us less than what we expect, but more than we realize. At the end of the day, it's just a sorry state for you to be in, ending your life believing so earnestly of your loneliness, hating the world for it. There were people around. you just never saw, you'd never open your heart to receive.

You gotta take responsibility for your life as well. Everyone experiences that deep loneliness at some point of their lives. In fact, I like to bet that majority of people are lonely people inside, even those wearing the biggest smile everyday. The world is more disconnected than it seems, with social networks giving us illusions of being connected. Shut your laptop, switch off your handphone, and you might just join the multitudes of people, with a cold beating heart, holding themselves to sleep.

It's what you want to do with it. I've been through my own share of loneliness growing up. Grew up emotionally alone from my family when young. Dwelled in self pity and just feel so sorry for myself, of how I deserve to be loved, that I should be given more attention and care, to make up for what the world owes me. My problem and hurts was soooo big and pitiful. People should come for me, give in to me. That all these needs inside me ought to be met. Ending my pitiful life which no one cares about. And I lived in years for that, waiting for some miracle sent person who would come to save me from this sad pit I'm in.

Until I realize the only miracle person that's gonna get anything solve is the one you see in the mirror. The big problem is us, that idiot that wallows in the mud of sorrow. We become so absorbed in feeling sorry for ourselves, we take all these hurts, and tend to it, take care of it, nurture it, since no one would. In the end, we become so focused on it, it becomes our pet, our companion, the one you turn to when you're hurt and sad. After all, it's the only thing that can relate to you, the doppelganger of your past, only it will know your pain, only it will know your hurts. And so you run back to its embrace, making sorrow your friend. And that's the only friend you'll have because of how "safe" it is.

I like to think depression is merely chronic self pity. I wouldn't categorize it as a mental disorder. But I'll say it's definitely not something that can be snapped out of, but more of weaning the reliance of that perverted comfort in that dark gloomy world, to find a more realistic hope in the world. And by realistic, I refer to both the loving good, and the painful bad that encompasses everything in life. It comes as a bundle, but true happiness outweighs the suffering. Nostalgic moments with friends and family, outshine the arguments and disputes we've had. Because all these made us who we were today. The pain taught us to be stronger to overcome, losses taught us to what's important in life, and suffering taught us character to become better people.

So learn from it all. Life can be harsh sometimes. So instead of sulking in a corner and never graduating from it, learn to accept the reality of life. Dont neglect the people around that care simply because we're too caught up with our own selves. Open our eyes to see how our silly whimsical negative thoughts hurts the people who care and loves us. There will be bouts of loneliness, downs of melancholy, and quivers of heartaches, but don't forget it too that there are the lovely moments as well, much indescribable to how it personally plays our heartstrings. There is both the good and bad in life, it all depends how we want to approach it, the perspective we take on it.

Be responsible for your own life. Work on it as best as you can. The world is unfair, not just to you, but everyone. Know that there are always people more unfortunate than you, no matter how bad it seems. Open doors and partner people. Expect nothing from them, but the unpredictability of life, with its ups and downs. For everything that you can do, do the best of it. No one has the right to be loved, no one deserves to be loved. But by grace, we are, and so we love too. Accept others just as you wish to be accepted, a simple law of reciprocity. Life is what you make it to be.

Be happy, or be sad. It's a choice.

Labels: life, thoughts