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Holiday
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Hais, I'm tired, and its good time I take a break.I'm tired of trying to save the world, when I obviously can. I'm not trying to be a hero, I'm just wanting to see the world is lesser pain. Yet, I find it hard to take a break knowing there are people out there suffering, hurting. I'm not sure how, though I know I need to.And sadly, in time as such, it is the people that I wish I can rely on for support, that are the ones that I end up draining myself for. I find it hard to balance the struggle between trying to help them, yet trying to fix myself.Sometimes, despite all that people say of just do what I need to do, it feels like you guys blame me, blame me for not being there, blame me for not listening, blame me for leaving. Yet on the same note you tell me I should rest, I should take care of myself, and sometimes that I should just enjoy my things.I'm in conflicts as to what I should do. To be honest, I've burnt out. I am tired, and I am weak. I'm not the strong friend, you think or want me to be. Whoever you are, if you really care, then I hope that you guys don't blame me for my short absence. I need a break, I need a break from you, your problems, and the ways you all harm yourselves, because I cannot pretend not to see and do nothing about it. After so long, I have grown weary and tired. I know it may not be a lot, but I gave much of my best. I cant ask you to cherish it, but I'd wish you all see me for who I am, and not who you want. I'm sorry if what I gave was too pathetic for you, perhaps causing some misery for you in the process. But after this, if you find that I'm still an issue for you, that I'm sorry, I'm not the friend for you.I treasure you all deeply in my heart and useless body, it would pain me to lose any of you. But, I guess I'm not worthy of any of you to stay, so go if you choose to.So for now, I hope I'll be back stronger and better, and I hope you will grow, and not rely on someone as weak as I am. That you will learn to hold your own forts in true strength, and to overcome your odds.Labels: heart, thoughts
Darren Nico Pillai
Not-so-average teen, deep thinker, perfectionist with quirky randomness. Trained in the art of sarcasm and nonsensical logic.
Overcoming the circumstances of the present, and the issues of my past,
striving in self-betterment with a moral balance with the hope of the fulfillment of the destiny to be a light for Christ in His likeness,
spreading the love of God as how He first loved us
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Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like You have loved me
Break my heart for what breaks Yours
Everything I am, for Your kingdom's cause
As I walk from earth into eternity
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- Hosanna -
Philosophy:
I like to think about life, especially pursuing on the concept of love. Not that lovey dovey romantic kind, but the affections we have for one another
that ties us together,strangers, friends, besties, family, that's the love I wanna know about. Love is the essence of life that ties us together,
love is what we were made for and to be, love is embracing the gift of the relationship with GOD.
Find me at Facebook and Twitter
Leave a message on my tagboard or drop me some questions if any.
Collection of inspirations and reminders: Nico_thoughts@Twitter
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Holiday
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Hais, I'm tired, and its good time I take a break.I'm tired of trying to save the world, when I obviously can. I'm not trying to be a hero, I'm just wanting to see the world is lesser pain. Yet, I find it hard to take a break knowing there are people out there suffering, hurting. I'm not sure how, though I know I need to.And sadly, in time as such, it is the people that I wish I can rely on for support, that are the ones that I end up draining myself for. I find it hard to balance the struggle between trying to help them, yet trying to fix myself.Sometimes, despite all that people say of just do what I need to do, it feels like you guys blame me, blame me for not being there, blame me for not listening, blame me for leaving. Yet on the same note you tell me I should rest, I should take care of myself, and sometimes that I should just enjoy my things.I'm in conflicts as to what I should do. To be honest, I've burnt out. I am tired, and I am weak. I'm not the strong friend, you think or want me to be. Whoever you are, if you really care, then I hope that you guys don't blame me for my short absence. I need a break, I need a break from you, your problems, and the ways you all harm yourselves, because I cannot pretend not to see and do nothing about it. After so long, I have grown weary and tired. I know it may not be a lot, but I gave much of my best. I cant ask you to cherish it, but I'd wish you all see me for who I am, and not who you want. I'm sorry if what I gave was too pathetic for you, perhaps causing some misery for you in the process. But after this, if you find that I'm still an issue for you, that I'm sorry, I'm not the friend for you.I treasure you all deeply in my heart and useless body, it would pain me to lose any of you. But, I guess I'm not worthy of any of you to stay, so go if you choose to.So for now, I hope I'll be back stronger and better, and I hope you will grow, and not rely on someone as weak as I am. That you will learn to hold your own forts in true strength, and to overcome your odds.Labels: heart, thoughts
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