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Receiving
Sunday, February 13, 2011
hm. talked a bit about receiving to zx. and the call from hq.I'm not sure actually. I think for quite a long time, I haven't receive much, aside from zx. In fact, I think I'm giving more than receiving. but as I reconsider, not possible for me to give out more than I receive. You cant go deficit in goodwill. Had a source I never knew was there. I guess God kept me going, during the times I looked upon Him, and eve the times I forgot.Though I'm still greedy, I long to receive from humans, in the ways I need. It's been so long, I realized I dare not open my heart. You know those weird feelings when you wished for something so hard, but when it's there you run away from it. I haven't really opened my heart I guess. Whether or not those are really out there.Randomly thought about me giving someone, would they ever know. And then reflected on whether I did feel that way too:I wonder how many times we have been loved by the people around us unknowingly, and life was made better, because they were there. And all the while, here we were crying out for a love we never realized existed just outside our doors.
-- Nico But heh. You. To be honest, I've long gave up expecting anything in return from you. I could only wish, but that's as far as it gets. You gave, and I was quite awkward. But it meant a lot to me. I really, dont know if that day comes, neither do I know how to react to it. Maybe it'll be a dream come true, but I think it would be something I dare not touch.Truly, I look towards a day, where I can be a recipient of a unconditional dedicated love which would stay through all time, residing even among my understanding, my needs, but it's only a fantasy to me. It's something simple, but I guess I'm not worth anything of it. Just hope to gleam off any extras that may cross my path =) Though each tiny brush off sparks out the whole desire again.Maybe that's why I like the loft. Secret desires. Twice, both ceremonies event gave me comfort by two peeps. Guess they never knew how much that meant to me. But yea, just that simple small gesture, warms my heart to the very depths. I'd wish it'll last forever, but I'm grateful for the memories.Well, once again I'm sure the longing is rekindled, but I guess I'll learn to open my heart to all the sources as well. I cant just sit around a cry for a ideal love. As much as being loved is a human need as hunger, we cant sit around waiting to satisfy craving and that only, pushing away all other food. of course one goes hungry. Love itself, should not be expected in any form, but freely received too I guess? Gotta open my eyes and heart to learn to receive.Hahax, nonetheless, I'll be moving on. going about doing something. i've slack for quite sometime. I need to pull up my socks once again. Start giving :DLabels: God, love, thoughts
Darren Nico Pillai
Not-so-average teen, deep thinker, perfectionist with quirky randomness. Trained in the art of sarcasm and nonsensical logic.
Overcoming the circumstances of the present, and the issues of my past,
striving in self-betterment with a moral balance with the hope of the fulfillment of the destiny to be a light for Christ in His likeness,
spreading the love of God as how He first loved us
==============================================================
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like You have loved me
Break my heart for what breaks Yours
Everything I am, for Your kingdom's cause
As I walk from earth into eternity
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
- Hosanna -
Philosophy:
I like to think about life, especially pursuing on the concept of love. Not that lovey dovey romantic kind, but the affections we have for one another
that ties us together,strangers, friends, besties, family, that's the love I wanna know about. Love is the essence of life that ties us together,
love is what we were made for and to be, love is embracing the gift of the relationship with GOD.
Find me at Facebook and Twitter
Leave a message on my tagboard or drop me some questions if any.
Collection of inspirations and reminders: Nico_thoughts@Twitter
==============================================================
Receiving
Sunday, February 13, 2011
hm. talked a bit about receiving to zx. and the call from hq.I'm not sure actually. I think for quite a long time, I haven't receive much, aside from zx. In fact, I think I'm giving more than receiving. but as I reconsider, not possible for me to give out more than I receive. You cant go deficit in goodwill. Had a source I never knew was there. I guess God kept me going, during the times I looked upon Him, and eve the times I forgot.Though I'm still greedy, I long to receive from humans, in the ways I need. It's been so long, I realized I dare not open my heart. You know those weird feelings when you wished for something so hard, but when it's there you run away from it. I haven't really opened my heart I guess. Whether or not those are really out there.Randomly thought about me giving someone, would they ever know. And then reflected on whether I did feel that way too:I wonder how many times we have been loved by the people around us unknowingly, and life was made better, because they were there. And all the while, here we were crying out for a love we never realized existed just outside our doors.
-- Nico But heh. You. To be honest, I've long gave up expecting anything in return from you. I could only wish, but that's as far as it gets. You gave, and I was quite awkward. But it meant a lot to me. I really, dont know if that day comes, neither do I know how to react to it. Maybe it'll be a dream come true, but I think it would be something I dare not touch.Truly, I look towards a day, where I can be a recipient of a unconditional dedicated love which would stay through all time, residing even among my understanding, my needs, but it's only a fantasy to me. It's something simple, but I guess I'm not worth anything of it. Just hope to gleam off any extras that may cross my path =) Though each tiny brush off sparks out the whole desire again.Maybe that's why I like the loft. Secret desires. Twice, both ceremonies event gave me comfort by two peeps. Guess they never knew how much that meant to me. But yea, just that simple small gesture, warms my heart to the very depths. I'd wish it'll last forever, but I'm grateful for the memories.Well, once again I'm sure the longing is rekindled, but I guess I'll learn to open my heart to all the sources as well. I cant just sit around a cry for a ideal love. As much as being loved is a human need as hunger, we cant sit around waiting to satisfy craving and that only, pushing away all other food. of course one goes hungry. Love itself, should not be expected in any form, but freely received too I guess? Gotta open my eyes and heart to learn to receive.Hahax, nonetheless, I'll be moving on. going about doing something. i've slack for quite sometime. I need to pull up my socks once again. Start giving :DLabels: God, love, thoughts
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