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Speaking Through Smiles
Friday, June 18, 2010

Back from a tiring day from ambassador duties for ECH conference. Haha nothing much really. Had to stand for hours and smile and guide people around.

Accidentally elbowed someone in the eye while putting on my blazer. ORR, she assaulted me at my elbow with her eye, not to mention leave her "bak sai" stains too. hahaha just kidding. Felt dam guilty, I cant believe I just hit a girl ._. bad me =/

And wooo, second part of the conference during al the workshops was much much more enjoyable. We got to sit down after all the standing up and kinda had a heart to heart chat with the other helpers there. Talk about life, values, out looks, ideals, goals, dreams, love and all kinda stuff in a chimish-deepish conversation. Havn't had that for quite a long time. Really thank those peeps for allowing me the privilege of enjoying one ^^ Thank you JiaHao and erms, the Yr 3 ECH whose name I do not know how to spell ._.

And woah, found another deep thinker from ECH year 3. booo how come not year 2, or from my class. It's hard finding these deep thinkers about in the current social world, that's at least wholesome in values without having all those self-centered-self-pitying-self-gratifying directed motives for their thoughts. Being a lovely day =)

Got to communicate with a hearing impaired recently, wowz, not too bad. I actually can get to converse well enough with him without too much "repeats" =) Being particularly interested in the deaf culture recently and kinda wish I can get to know more about how they feel, the difficulties they face and how the two worlds interact in terms of social dynamics. Buuut, I dun think I can get much deep info til I mingle with more hearing impaireds or with some special miracle, get to go deaf for a day =P


Oh oh and wheee, my stomach's getting much better too! I went on a binge desert eating chomping down about up to 10 coconut+banana desert that looks like steam eggs and whoooo finally my poop is not watery after about a week =D YAY TO NORMAL EATING ONCE AGAIN. I'm super malnourished for this period man, my jeans dropped so much, gotta wear a belt to hold it up. whee~ :D


And ya know, things haven't been too nice for me lately. Becoming extraordinarily annoying in a profound exaggerated manner. But I think it's just life's way of humbling one. Gotta put in back into my place, and stop relying on my own strength to fit the world's standards of being a fun and cool guy and you know, just simply enjoy what's that of me and be me. Who I am, breaking stereotypes, limitations, norms and all that which hinders us and stops that which is us from surfacing. I hope that from 20 years now, I can look back and say, I'm glad I was me, despite all those who opposed and mocked me with indignity, that I found myself through it all, and not lived behind a mask forged by the ideals of the world and the conformity of social standards.
Dare to live; Dare to be different.


Maybe I'm putting too much unfounded expectations on myself. After all, is my definition of "friends" a lofty dream of idealism? Might I have set untrue standards which I am correctly incapable of but stumble emotionally at the inadequacy of accomplishing these impossible tasks? I may have lifted the bar beyond the requirements, standards, unconditional affection and albeit warped idealism. Friends, a simplicity that bears complexity at it's simplest. You just got to be natural, to be... simply you.

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