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Hiding Facades
Friday, May 21, 2010

“Sometimes you’ve got to be able to listen to yourself and be okay with no one else understanding.”

Been horribly busy recently chionging all my work and stuff. Anyways, some of the recent thoughts that been in my mind. About my uniqueness in terms of deviance in accordance to social norm and world's standards. Sure, if you really get to know me well enough, you'll find out I'm not someone normal. And I ain't meaning the kind of "oo everyone's special" kind of way, but in reality of a sheer difference in terms of attitudes, values, beliefs, depth knowledge, faith, and experiences.

Sure, i had always believe I was meant to be different ever since young. I just had this knowing of a different calling. and it's proven through my thoughts and my perspective of life. I've always taken a different path from what the world takes, that I held on to what I felt was a deeper truth. We differ in so many ways and some of the more major ones on thoughts, facades, faith, homeschooling, and even death.

If I were to quickly speak of my differences. Firstly, facades. It is the social norm for everyone to put on a facade. Hide those negative sides, portray a nicer side, hide those hurts, wear fake smiles. No seriously, we, the world, thinks its better off this way yes? protect yourself from hurts, protect yourself from people. Make yourself appear nicely and likable yea?

But really, does it bring us happiness? Sure, we enjoy the company of friends who like us, or like the facades of us. But in times of real testing, will your facades hold? When depression and sadness strikes you, will you hide those hurts and pretend to remain happy. You see, I, in my opinion, consider the show of weakness being a act of strength. Why? Because you're strong enough to face up to it, to admit it, to accept it, to be willing to fight it.

I believe, if we all search deep enough within our hearts, we know that these facades we wear do not bring true happiness, it only provides a temporal happiness where ppl just assume you to be who you are. But this withholding of disclosure denies others a real view of you. It hinders intimacy, it hinders trueness in a relationship.

I dunno, but it seems that society has form us in such ways that some of us completely live our lives behind hidden walls, that it scares me greatly that even after one year, I know completely nothing of the insides of a friend. But do you not see, that this is partially the reason of why friendships do not reach that level of intimacy. True friendship, how many can proclaim they possess?

But this I have decided to live my life by. One without facades or as little facades as possible. You know, the common talk about "its important to be who you truly are" but hey, it is. Because you were made the way you were, you think the way you are and you behave the way you do simply because you are indeed special and irreplacable. Even the ugliest, most unfriendly person has his destiny in this place.

That aside, I think, it is crucial that we live our lives, as who we are truely are, BUT, that we remove negative and characters that are undesirable . I mean by being who you are doesnt mean you go around cursing and swearing as much as the winds blows, being a selfish brat who cares solely for his own wants. But it is through the interaction with others and our true self that we get to filter out the bad stuff, keep the good stuff that signifies you, and yea, work towards being someone better.

Cos seriously, face it. I choose not to wear masks and you do. I get way lot more of bruises and you dont. I have lesser friends than you have. But I know, that in the end, I definitely will be happier than you. Because it is through all the bruises and knocks that I grow how to be stronger, how to better cope with life and you, will still be hiding behind your masks, constantly shaping it to others' likings but by the end of the journey. I lived my life being me, you lived your life being someone else you never were. Your choice.

And this is one of the way my deviance greatly conflicts with the social world. Where I portray my weaknesses, strengths and other thing. I don't think people do like me for the way I do things, but I dunno man. I was a deviant, I still am going to be a deviant. I want to show to the world, that we don't have a need to put on facades, that its ok to be hurting, that we should open ourselves.

I wanna create a caring society. I wanna make love feel alive again.

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