Stuck in reverse.
When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse
And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?
Got so much to write about yet each time I try to write on a happy memory, a lesson I learn, the words elude me in this messy game of chase. Everyday I'm just stoning off time, trying to find a way to numb the emptiness, just watching time tick by everyday.
"Stuck in reverse" describes well the state I'm in. This regression I'm falling further back into. The weird thing is I'm perfectly fine when I'm with people. The stupid thing is, I become so withdrawn I don't even have the idea of calling people out. The best I can do is to kick myself out of the house and have a proper meal, then take a longer route home.
I think I just need to get away from the computer, away from this mind-numbing escape route. I feel more alive when I'm out, though it doesnt remove the emptiness. I wish I could live with people.
Will try my best to write out more productive posts whenever I can.
Labels: life
Darren Nico Pillai