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Wednesday, April 13, 2011

I'm not that much a time person, but at times, "time" hits me in heartfelt appreciating yet sorroful ways.

One thing I never liked about time is that it's always moving. Never stops, and never does wait for anyone. Time continues even if you're sleeping, eating, crying, hiding, and even when you're dead busy rushing to complete something.

Then again, it's like a currency in a bank. 86, 400 seconds to spend on anything we wanted each day and every individual have their own bank account. Anything we choose to do will cost us some units, and sometimes, there wont be enough for the day.

Like an hourglass, time has its end. Something which I never liked. There's only that many years to childhood, and to each subsequent phase before one has to transit. At times, we are robbed off time to do things we don't want to, or in other ways, sacrifice.

This brings me back to reconsider the concept of time. I believe time is a human concept. It isn't real. Just like any other system of measurement, time gives us humans a way to comprehend and compartmentalize life. Because truly, I find that time is more than just ticking of on average 6,048,000 seconds. Its life. The flow of one event to the next. The moments where we think, eat, play, love creating an endless series of happenings. In the way we use "sometimes", "at times", "every time", what does the word "time" mean in each of these words.

Similarly the idea of eternity is beyond human comprehension. No man can fathom the expression of forever. We're all perhaps either in-built, or trained to have an end in mind. We know one day things will fall apart, relationships with cease and everything of the mind will fade. Death. Expiry. End. The closest thing we can make to eternity would be the desire for things to last forever, yet contradictory, we also fail to realize the mundane repetition of life, over and over again, like a joke repeated loses its charm.

Speaking of the wish for "forever", it's always been a dream of mine to spend my time with people forever. Obviously its impossible, and thus, I keep them in memory, revisiting moments in the past, tying a emotional knot to everywhere around, tripping them here and there occasionally, and reliving these moments again. I wonder if it is possible to bypass time, replay out scenes and spend time with them forever.

Ultimately, I believe there is something far beyond the measures of human time, something like a whole interconnect dynamic flow of energy, bringing what we know as destiny, something beyond the grasp of humans yet holds them together.

Something I call God.

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