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Back In Time
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Was on the train when I suddenly a random thought striked up in my mind. What if, I had the chance to relive 1 year exactly from now, and after 1 year I'll phase back into where I last left it, but the course of that year will be altered by the definite changes in my choices and actions.First off, it will be pretty awkward. Everything around me. Say if I could bring back my knowledge and experience, then I would be in time 1 year reversed with my mind left in the future. I would know people before I met them. I would not be as close to the people I am now. I'll respond to them as if I knew them, yet was strangers otherwise. I'll also keep my skills =D
Take it one by one.
*rewinds time*Exactly 1 year 1 second back, 20 January 2010, I'll be emoing. 5 days ago, I just wrote a goodbye letter to a friend after being burnt out. Currently emoing because I'm feeling inferior to my best friend. Emoing over another girl. Emoing because I feel that I'm no good. Wow. lots things to emo about eh?
Back then, I still wouldn't be as good/nice as I am presently (LOL). I knew ZhiXiong as a good guy then, but far from being good friends. I'll be still in year 1 stressing out on my IP. I'll be so different I cant imagine who I was like back then.Another second later... My eyes opens as the blinding flash slowly fades away. I'll probably be dazed for quite some time, trying to find where I am. Recollecting all my memories, as they will be the only things I have left to hold on to in the present. And then I'll quickly move on to resolve many things.
I imagine myself calling up Timothy, telling him what has just happened. He wont believe me, thinking I'm some sort of crazy dude. Suddenly saying I time traveled haha. I was full of random shit back then too. And then when I prove it, by revealing some things he told me along the year. I can imagine his lost face, before screaming and yelling to me how cool all the sci-fi things were, and surely with a half doubt in his mind. He'll be slightly wary of me at first, and then I'll like to see us becoming much much closer in time.
Seeing the letter I've wrote, she probably cried her heart out already. I'll try to repair my things if possible, and then let her know everything that from the past, and my present hopes for things. I don't thing I'll tell her what the "real" 2010 was like, haha think it'll overwhelm her mind. I cant say what it'll be like since things would probably be unpredictable, but I wanna make sure she has lesser hurts and more smiles. I'll wanna be her friend, a real one, and making her feel loved, and hopefully, opening her hearts to others as well, so she doesn't have to feel lonely ever.
And to zhi xiong. He'll be the first I'll call up. I bet he'll be dam surprised. But then again, we weren't close enough then for me to do all that ._. Neither of us ever expected our paths to intertwine that closely. I wonder though, will I be ever to rebuild that relationship I had with him. Maybe, maybe this chance of reliving one year will cost me this beautiful friendship. I wonder if it's worth it? Perhaps, if we do become good friends, I'll have more time to learn to be more understanding to him.
Well, my imagination takes me only a few months far, because it's really quite a big thing to try imagine going through 1 year of life, with all the things I know already. Like replanning the camp, meeting the juniors and new friends (whom I know), being exceptional at my studies, maybe I'll become a better guy, having the extra experience of 1 year, before I'm back to 20 Jan 2011.
Saying all these, it doesnt change the fact that I'm in Jan 2011, and the only direction I'm moving is forward. I'll be more inclined to imagine all the good things that can happen, but I'm sure there will be many other mistakes as well.
One thing I know though. If I really had the chance to go back, there's many things I'll change. Not because I cant accept my past, but I want to relive my life, without all those fears and restraints, holding back from all the great things I could have done.Regrets are painful, but useless if we keep looking back. Rather, make right by cherishing the present and doing the necessary.Labels: thoughts
Darren Nico Pillai
Not-so-average teen, deep thinker, perfectionist with quirky randomness. Trained in the art of sarcasm and nonsensical logic.
Overcoming the circumstances of the present, and the issues of my past,
striving in self-betterment with a moral balance with the hope of the fulfillment of the destiny to be a light for Christ in His likeness,
spreading the love of God as how He first loved us
==============================================================
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like You have loved me
Break my heart for what breaks Yours
Everything I am, for Your kingdom's cause
As I walk from earth into eternity
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
- Hosanna -
Philosophy:
I like to think about life, especially pursuing on the concept of love. Not that lovey dovey romantic kind, but the affections we have for one another
that ties us together,strangers, friends, besties, family, that's the love I wanna know about. Love is the essence of life that ties us together,
love is what we were made for and to be, love is embracing the gift of the relationship with GOD.
Find me at Facebook and Twitter
Leave a message on my tagboard or drop me some questions if any.
Collection of inspirations and reminders: Nico_thoughts@Twitter
==============================================================
Back In Time
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Was on the train when I suddenly a random thought striked up in my mind. What if, I had the chance to relive 1 year exactly from now, and after 1 year I'll phase back into where I last left it, but the course of that year will be altered by the definite changes in my choices and actions.First off, it will be pretty awkward. Everything around me. Say if I could bring back my knowledge and experience, then I would be in time 1 year reversed with my mind left in the future. I would know people before I met them. I would not be as close to the people I am now. I'll respond to them as if I knew them, yet was strangers otherwise. I'll also keep my skills =D
Take it one by one.
*rewinds time*Exactly 1 year 1 second back, 20 January 2010, I'll be emoing. 5 days ago, I just wrote a goodbye letter to a friend after being burnt out. Currently emoing because I'm feeling inferior to my best friend. Emoing over another girl. Emoing because I feel that I'm no good. Wow. lots things to emo about eh?
Back then, I still wouldn't be as good/nice as I am presently (LOL). I knew ZhiXiong as a good guy then, but far from being good friends. I'll be still in year 1 stressing out on my IP. I'll be so different I cant imagine who I was like back then.Another second later... My eyes opens as the blinding flash slowly fades away. I'll probably be dazed for quite some time, trying to find where I am. Recollecting all my memories, as they will be the only things I have left to hold on to in the present. And then I'll quickly move on to resolve many things.
I imagine myself calling up Timothy, telling him what has just happened. He wont believe me, thinking I'm some sort of crazy dude. Suddenly saying I time traveled haha. I was full of random shit back then too. And then when I prove it, by revealing some things he told me along the year. I can imagine his lost face, before screaming and yelling to me how cool all the sci-fi things were, and surely with a half doubt in his mind. He'll be slightly wary of me at first, and then I'll like to see us becoming much much closer in time.
Seeing the letter I've wrote, she probably cried her heart out already. I'll try to repair my things if possible, and then let her know everything that from the past, and my present hopes for things. I don't thing I'll tell her what the "real" 2010 was like, haha think it'll overwhelm her mind. I cant say what it'll be like since things would probably be unpredictable, but I wanna make sure she has lesser hurts and more smiles. I'll wanna be her friend, a real one, and making her feel loved, and hopefully, opening her hearts to others as well, so she doesn't have to feel lonely ever.
And to zhi xiong. He'll be the first I'll call up. I bet he'll be dam surprised. But then again, we weren't close enough then for me to do all that ._. Neither of us ever expected our paths to intertwine that closely. I wonder though, will I be ever to rebuild that relationship I had with him. Maybe, maybe this chance of reliving one year will cost me this beautiful friendship. I wonder if it's worth it? Perhaps, if we do become good friends, I'll have more time to learn to be more understanding to him.
Well, my imagination takes me only a few months far, because it's really quite a big thing to try imagine going through 1 year of life, with all the things I know already. Like replanning the camp, meeting the juniors and new friends (whom I know), being exceptional at my studies, maybe I'll become a better guy, having the extra experience of 1 year, before I'm back to 20 Jan 2011.
Saying all these, it doesnt change the fact that I'm in Jan 2011, and the only direction I'm moving is forward. I'll be more inclined to imagine all the good things that can happen, but I'm sure there will be many other mistakes as well.
One thing I know though. If I really had the chance to go back, there's many things I'll change. Not because I cant accept my past, but I want to relive my life, without all those fears and restraints, holding back from all the great things I could have done.Regrets are painful, but useless if we keep looking back. Rather, make right by cherishing the present and doing the necessary.Labels: thoughts
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