|
profile
journal
archives
others
follow+
|
Powerless To Change
Friday, November 5, 2010
Hmm, got the thought about the main comm thing, now that they're choosing the new batch for hi club. Sparked off by someone presenting it to me as a sensitive issue. Got me guessing, then thinking whether I would really be affected by it, only to realize, I was and would be affected by it, mildly perhaps?Looking back, I've been in much of Hi club. Was one of the best fews in my batch, something I wouldn't expect, and something I've never been either. Was picked up for Subcomm and the possibility of main comm. Delighted of course, my mind set up for things to do when I would be installed, the ideas and things I could do.Things happened, through the trial, decisions changed and I was taken out from the main comm, replaced by ZX which I feel, believe, know he has done a friggin solid job in paving Hi Club to the way it is now, his constant effort in building and maintaining plans. Upset as he was though, when the final results were revealed.And well, as for me, I did emo-ed about it of course. It was part of what I wanted, or moments of my heart for Hi Club, and losing that role would mean losing the opportunity to do the many things I wanted to do. World caved in for a few days, and resolved by my own solo rogue missions to do what I wanted to. I do wonder though, what would be the truth. I felt I would have been too irresponsible for such a role, knowing I'm such a slacker, most told me otherwise, saying I was up to it. Others felt it was a case of biasness. Well, no one really would know but either way, I think things definitely have been better for me.The good first, would be woots, I had so much more time and less responsibilities as compared to them. Could focus on other things instead. Could work with other people and look out for the rest. I think it helped me see Hi Club from another perspective too.The bad then, would be along the way, as I see the main comm not reaching to my expectations of what they ought to be like with their potentials. Bits everywhere that needed fixing. Uninspired comm members, some without purpose, some without confidence, others without support. It saddens me whenever I think of what I could have done if I had the power to. Being out of the main comm itself cut me off from the action, and slowly just drift away from them as a separate individual identity.You know the feeling when you can do something yet unable to? Hahax. Sometimes feeling so useless as well. Everytime my chats with Tim or Zx will get me so riled up with the things that are going wrong as well as all the things that can be done, if only I was in. Time and time over again, I wish I could step in and kick the main comm's butt into doing what they ought to be doing. Really, if I had the chance, I'll give them such an ass whooping I'm be sure to make them improve. People not doing their jobs well, others having needless concerns, and in the end, those whose hearts are there are taking additional responsibilities and jobs that rightfully belong to others.Well, things are different now I guess. Grown up a bit, and maybe more capable to have such a role, but perhaps too late. All I hope for now, is that things will get better and the situation of the comm will improved, regardless or not if I made a difference.But wellz, as much as having to overcome the occasional coveting of roles, I think I'll just do as best I can, to invest in the future generation, making sure they have the best, and not to repeat the same mistakes again.---------------- Thanks Dawn for the affirmation. Though it's been quite some time since, think it's really nice of you to put in that effort where most would have just left it aside, devoured by distractions or worries. What I did was for no one other that to stand my ground before God and myself. Glad I made it through. I hope others would do it too ^^ Hahax for those wondering, its something about lac camp =P
Labels: hi club
Darren Nico Pillai
Not-so-average teen, deep thinker, perfectionist with quirky randomness. Trained in the art of sarcasm and nonsensical logic.
Overcoming the circumstances of the present, and the issues of my past,
striving in self-betterment with a moral balance with the hope of the fulfillment of the destiny to be a light for Christ in His likeness,
spreading the love of God as how He first loved us
==============================================================
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like You have loved me
Break my heart for what breaks Yours
Everything I am, for Your kingdom's cause
As I walk from earth into eternity
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
- Hosanna -
Philosophy:
I like to think about life, especially pursuing on the concept of love. Not that lovey dovey romantic kind, but the affections we have for one another
that ties us together,strangers, friends, besties, family, that's the love I wanna know about. Love is the essence of life that ties us together,
love is what we were made for and to be, love is embracing the gift of the relationship with GOD.
Find me at Facebook and Twitter
Leave a message on my tagboard or drop me some questions if any.
Collection of inspirations and reminders: Nico_thoughts@Twitter
==============================================================
Powerless To Change
Friday, November 5, 2010
Hmm, got the thought about the main comm thing, now that they're choosing the new batch for hi club. Sparked off by someone presenting it to me as a sensitive issue. Got me guessing, then thinking whether I would really be affected by it, only to realize, I was and would be affected by it, mildly perhaps?Looking back, I've been in much of Hi club. Was one of the best fews in my batch, something I wouldn't expect, and something I've never been either. Was picked up for Subcomm and the possibility of main comm. Delighted of course, my mind set up for things to do when I would be installed, the ideas and things I could do.Things happened, through the trial, decisions changed and I was taken out from the main comm, replaced by ZX which I feel, believe, know he has done a friggin solid job in paving Hi Club to the way it is now, his constant effort in building and maintaining plans. Upset as he was though, when the final results were revealed.And well, as for me, I did emo-ed about it of course. It was part of what I wanted, or moments of my heart for Hi Club, and losing that role would mean losing the opportunity to do the many things I wanted to do. World caved in for a few days, and resolved by my own solo rogue missions to do what I wanted to. I do wonder though, what would be the truth. I felt I would have been too irresponsible for such a role, knowing I'm such a slacker, most told me otherwise, saying I was up to it. Others felt it was a case of biasness. Well, no one really would know but either way, I think things definitely have been better for me.The good first, would be woots, I had so much more time and less responsibilities as compared to them. Could focus on other things instead. Could work with other people and look out for the rest. I think it helped me see Hi Club from another perspective too.The bad then, would be along the way, as I see the main comm not reaching to my expectations of what they ought to be like with their potentials. Bits everywhere that needed fixing. Uninspired comm members, some without purpose, some without confidence, others without support. It saddens me whenever I think of what I could have done if I had the power to. Being out of the main comm itself cut me off from the action, and slowly just drift away from them as a separate individual identity.You know the feeling when you can do something yet unable to? Hahax. Sometimes feeling so useless as well. Everytime my chats with Tim or Zx will get me so riled up with the things that are going wrong as well as all the things that can be done, if only I was in. Time and time over again, I wish I could step in and kick the main comm's butt into doing what they ought to be doing. Really, if I had the chance, I'll give them such an ass whooping I'm be sure to make them improve. People not doing their jobs well, others having needless concerns, and in the end, those whose hearts are there are taking additional responsibilities and jobs that rightfully belong to others.Well, things are different now I guess. Grown up a bit, and maybe more capable to have such a role, but perhaps too late. All I hope for now, is that things will get better and the situation of the comm will improved, regardless or not if I made a difference.But wellz, as much as having to overcome the occasional coveting of roles, I think I'll just do as best I can, to invest in the future generation, making sure they have the best, and not to repeat the same mistakes again.---------------- Thanks Dawn for the affirmation. Though it's been quite some time since, think it's really nice of you to put in that effort where most would have just left it aside, devoured by distractions or worries. What I did was for no one other that to stand my ground before God and myself. Glad I made it through. I hope others would do it too ^^ Hahax for those wondering, its something about lac camp =P
Labels: hi club
|
