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Gutless
Monday, June 7, 2010
Whooohooz. Plenty of long term projects up front this term break, not quite a term break hehz. Today was presentation for Personality module and duh, I think Ima screwed things up again. I put the blame on no one, or if I must, on myself for not doing what I could, should and ought to. Oh dear, I see the coming projects ahead and I'm having a bad feeling towards everything. somehow we're just not good enough, maybe I'm not good enough ._.Been rather dizzy this few days, poor appetite and quite lethargic. Mom says I might be low blood sugar or something. Whoo, time to spam pepsi kekeke. Toe still hurting from BYS walk, using some old home slippers I found in the cupboard that I used to wear for the fun of it. and then comes Sasher thinking it as some toy or such. Here's some pictures to brighten up my ultra wordy blog =PBeing thru some random thots recently.I prayed hard one day for a wish, a simple wish that I might meet someone, so I could make a small difference. Doubt clouded my mind, but I pressed on with faith. And sure enough, with God never failing me, it happened. "He" walked about chatting with the people around, perhaps discussing the sermon or maybe catching up and all I had to do was walk up to him, and say those few simple words. But I didn't. I didn't dare. I prayed for boldness. More opportunities came. But I never moved an inch. Makes me wonder, my desire to impact lives, could it fall short all because I simply "don't dare"? We all have a dependence on God and yet at the same time a responsibility to act. I depended on Him, but I couldn't take hold of that responsibility if not for some excuses of introvertness and daring. Would I be forfeiting someone's good all because I was too afraid to do something? =lYour mercies are never ending and your faithfulness reaches through the depths of the abyss to find me.
Sometimes, I need to know a relationship is worth fighting for. I need to see my value in the eyes of others before knowing to put in all the effort I can to make it work. I wonder what I am in the eyes of others, don't you?Been watching dramas lately and watching the scene on breakups. I wonder what it's like, if I, ever had to face the experience of one. I'm thinking I'll would just crumble inside never to open my world again. Knowing well I'll probably put all the blame on myself ._. Was looking at my cracked nail today (cos I accidentally kicked someone's else leather shoe sole) and random thought came to mind; A chipped nail grows again, but a broken heart when doeth it mend?
Acquainted with someone that seems really interesting recently. Someone that thinks, someone whose thoughts seems to proliferate much more than mine. Someone that appears very appreciative of the little things in this world. Heh, looking forward towards learning much :) Someone that is special in his/her own unique way. ^^ Inspired me a whole lot into micro thoughts =P
Labels: God, thoughts
Darren Nico Pillai
Not-so-average teen, deep thinker, perfectionist with quirky randomness. Trained in the art of sarcasm and nonsensical logic.
Overcoming the circumstances of the present, and the issues of my past,
striving in self-betterment with a moral balance with the hope of the fulfillment of the destiny to be a light for Christ in His likeness,
spreading the love of God as how He first loved us
==============================================================
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like You have loved me
Break my heart for what breaks Yours
Everything I am, for Your kingdom's cause
As I walk from earth into eternity
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
- Hosanna -
Philosophy:
I like to think about life, especially pursuing on the concept of love. Not that lovey dovey romantic kind, but the affections we have for one another
that ties us together,strangers, friends, besties, family, that's the love I wanna know about. Love is the essence of life that ties us together,
love is what we were made for and to be, love is embracing the gift of the relationship with GOD.
Find me at Facebook and Twitter
Leave a message on my tagboard or drop me some questions if any.
Collection of inspirations and reminders: Nico_thoughts@Twitter
==============================================================
Gutless
Monday, June 7, 2010
Whooohooz. Plenty of long term projects up front this term break, not quite a term break hehz. Today was presentation for Personality module and duh, I think Ima screwed things up again. I put the blame on no one, or if I must, on myself for not doing what I could, should and ought to. Oh dear, I see the coming projects ahead and I'm having a bad feeling towards everything. somehow we're just not good enough, maybe I'm not good enough ._.Been rather dizzy this few days, poor appetite and quite lethargic. Mom says I might be low blood sugar or something. Whoo, time to spam pepsi kekeke. Toe still hurting from BYS walk, using some old home slippers I found in the cupboard that I used to wear for the fun of it. and then comes Sasher thinking it as some toy or such. Here's some pictures to brighten up my ultra wordy blog =PBeing thru some random thots recently.I prayed hard one day for a wish, a simple wish that I might meet someone, so I could make a small difference. Doubt clouded my mind, but I pressed on with faith. And sure enough, with God never failing me, it happened. "He" walked about chatting with the people around, perhaps discussing the sermon or maybe catching up and all I had to do was walk up to him, and say those few simple words. But I didn't. I didn't dare. I prayed for boldness. More opportunities came. But I never moved an inch. Makes me wonder, my desire to impact lives, could it fall short all because I simply "don't dare"? We all have a dependence on God and yet at the same time a responsibility to act. I depended on Him, but I couldn't take hold of that responsibility if not for some excuses of introvertness and daring. Would I be forfeiting someone's good all because I was too afraid to do something? =lYour mercies are never ending and your faithfulness reaches through the depths of the abyss to find me.
Sometimes, I need to know a relationship is worth fighting for. I need to see my value in the eyes of others before knowing to put in all the effort I can to make it work. I wonder what I am in the eyes of others, don't you?Been watching dramas lately and watching the scene on breakups. I wonder what it's like, if I, ever had to face the experience of one. I'm thinking I'll would just crumble inside never to open my world again. Knowing well I'll probably put all the blame on myself ._. Was looking at my cracked nail today (cos I accidentally kicked someone's else leather shoe sole) and random thought came to mind; A chipped nail grows again, but a broken heart when doeth it mend?
Acquainted with someone that seems really interesting recently. Someone that thinks, someone whose thoughts seems to proliferate much more than mine. Someone that appears very appreciative of the little things in this world. Heh, looking forward towards learning much :) Someone that is special in his/her own unique way. ^^ Inspired me a whole lot into micro thoughts =P
Labels: God, thoughts
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