Had one of the biggest fight ever since a long time. Involved the whole family. Hah.

But keeping things short, I've realized how much a failure I am. I'm not putting myself down or anything. I'm referring to all the terrible flaws I have and feel so disgusted and disappointed about. I wish to change it, for but I really cant do it on my own?

Secondly, it reminded me about me not feeling loved. For many years I've purposed to live a life for others, to bring them a little more happiness, love, to build them up. But I think I'm quite avoidant about feel weak myself. I daren't be the weak one where everyone has to help me, and for that i've neglected a lot of issues that do not receive the attention they ought to.

I should stop running away from my own weakness. Stop denying the help and love people are willing to give me. Stop believing in the lies that no one will be there for me. Stop thinking that I'm not worth it.

I dunno, I made my resolution this year to really overcome this whole issue on love, but I forgot along the way, and it wasn't enough. If i really want this solved, I need to stop holding it on, cautiously letting it go. Trust. Let it all go. Let myself fall. People will be there to catch me, people will be there to hold me. I am cared for. I am loved. I am esteemed. I am cherished. I am important enough for their sacrifices. I am worth it.

So, to the ones who love me. Thank you for loving me. I'm sorry I've always pushed it away, and chose to see otherwise. I thank you so much for always being there in the good and bad, and for bearing with whatever nonsense I am. I have a request, those really uncomfortably, that if you care, would you kindly let me know you do. You don't have to if its uncomfortable. And for bigger request, do it make obvious, maybe like with a hashtag #hinico HAHA. Even if you're close do leave a name or a message.

The reason why is so that I'll have to proof, the evidence to show myself, that look, all these people are here, and they did this for you, big, small, long, short. They did this for you because they love you and care for you. And because of this, you never ever have the right to say you're alone without anyone. I don't want to give any room for excuse. Because this list of people have made an effort, gave a part of themselves for you to show that they're there and you can never say otherwise.

Lol. I'm make a dam ballsy move here. I don't if it'd even work out. I'll take the chance and try all over again. So, friends, families, and shadow ninjas, will you help me when i'm in need? hold me when I'm weak?

Will you?

Had one of the biggest fight ever since a long time. Involved the whole family. Hah.

But keeping things short, I've realized how much a failure I am. I'm not putting myself down or anything. I'm referring to all the terrible flaws I have and feel so disgusted and disappointed about. I wish to change it, for but I really cant do it on my own?

Secondly, it reminded me about me not feeling loved. For many years I've purposed to live a life for others, to bring them a little more happiness, love, to build them up. But I think I'm quite avoidant about feel weak myself. I daren't be the weak one where everyone has to help me, and for that i've neglected a lot of issues that do not receive the attention they ought to.

I should stop running away from my own weakness. Stop denying the help and love people are willing to give me. Stop believing in the lies that no one will be there for me. Stop thinking that I'm not worth it.

I dunno, I made my resolution this year to really overcome this whole issue on love, but I forgot along the way, and it wasn't enough. If i really want this solved, I need to stop holding it on, cautiously letting it go. Trust. Let it all go. Let myself fall. People will be there to catch me, people will be there to hold me. I am cared for. I am loved. I am esteemed. I am cherished. I am important enough for their sacrifices. I am worth it.

So, to the ones who love me. Thank you for loving me. I'm sorry I've always pushed it away, and chose to see otherwise. I thank you so much for always being there in the good and bad, and for bearing with whatever nonsense I am. I have a request, those really uncomfortably, that if you care, would you kindly let me know you do. You don't have to if its uncomfortable. And for bigger request, do it make obvious, maybe like with a hashtag #hinico HAHA. Even if you're close do leave a name or a message.

The reason why is so that I'll have to proof, the evidence to show myself, that look, all these people are here, and they did this for you, big, small, long, short. They did this for you because they love you and care for you. And because of this, you never ever have the right to say you're alone without anyone. I don't want to give any room for excuse. Because this list of people have made an effort, gave a part of themselves for you to show that they're there and you can never say otherwise.

Lol. I'm make a dam ballsy move here. I don't if it'd even work out. I'll take the chance and try all over again. So, friends, families, and shadow ninjas, will you help me when i'm in need? hold me when I'm weak?

Will you?